Common objection 11: Other people tell me not to

December 1, 2012 by Joshua
in Blog, Leadership, Tips

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.]

Objection

Other people tell me not to.

We all defer judgment to someone. Sometimes others know better. Not always.

Sometimes we feel pressure from peers, family, society, bosses, etc.

Example

Parents are the big ones who advise their children to what the parents’ think best, which may or may not coincide with what their children think best.

Bosses advise too. As do friends and, for that matter, random acquaintances.

Institutions like governments, schools, churches, and so on also promote their agendas. Of course, institutions don’t talk. People representing them do, so you often hear an institution’s agenda in the form of advice from someone you know.

Underlying belief

If you follow their advice not to change something you want to, you’re coming from a belief that

Their priorities are more important than yours.

Alternative belief

I recommend you believe that

Your priorities are the most important to you.

I recognize acting on this belief is easier said than done. The world is full of people saying things like “you care too much what other people think,” which I suspect is almost always said hypocritically.

Alternative strategy

Start with the belief that your priorities are the most important, even if acting independently is hard. Ultimately

Do what you feel is best and let the chips fall where they may.

You can always take what they say under advisement.

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