Common objection 8: But it’s embarrassing or it makes me anxious

November 28, 2012 by Joshua
in Blog, Leadership, Tips

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.]

Objection

Yesterday I posted how fear of feeling fake after changing holds people back. Today I’ll note how some people don’t start because they feel embarrassed or anxious now.

But I’m embarrassed!

I’m too nervous to even think about it!

Many people prefer not to think about problem areas of their lives.

Example

The big one here is out-of-shape people not going to the gym because they’re embarrassed about being the fat person at the gym. I speak from experience. I didn’t go to gyms until college because I thought you had to be in great shape to go in the first place.

Likewise, I took a long time to try yoga for the first time because I was embarrassed at my lack of flexibility.

Some people are uncomfortable thinking about taking leadership roles so they shy away from taking them on or being offered the opportunity.

Many people in school and as professionals don’t take classes they’d like to because they don’t want to expose their ignorance.

Underlying belief

This objection stems not so much from belief as just  succumbing to a strong emotion and not looking at the situation from a different perspective.

Alternative belief

First of all, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, and so on are reasons to change! Unrewarding and punishing emotions come from internal conflict. They motivate you to resolve the conflict. Ignoring emotions you don’t like or living with them instead of facing them is the definition of accepting misery in your life.

Second, the different perspectives I alluded to are from people who know what you’re going through and what it takes to lead and change — in other words, your role models and future peers. You may be embarrassed to be the only overweight person at the gym — everyone was made fun of for something at some point so we all know — but the people at the gym, the ones who will actually see you, are the last ones who will make fun of you.

Alternative strategy

People who know what they’re doing understand and help. You only have to show up and show you’re helping yourself first.

In other words, take the first step, however simple. That step may only consist of telling someone who knows better or has more experience your interest in leading, going to the gym, etc.

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