I’ve been writing my The Ethicist column for over six months and wanted to co-opt another advice column.

I can’t find any men’s relationship advice columns. Most advice columns for men seem to be about things advertised in men’s magazines—grooming, clothes, fashion, alcohol, and cars. “The gentleman’s guide to the perfect martini” or “Your grandfather wouldn’t wear white after Labor Day and neither should you.” Almost none are serious, instead favoring haughty or snarky humor.

I write about social skills, so I looked for a relationship advice column for men. I couldn’t find one. There are some on meeting women, but not on the relationship.

The Wikipedia page on advice columns listed eighteen advice columnists. Three were men, one gay (I’ve read Dan Savage for years) and the other two wrote on other topics.

I found an article in The Atlantic called “The Cold Stoicism of Advice Columns for Men” that described the same lack I found. It offered a new one that ended up giving more advice on when to wear what clothes and more of what Esquire and GQ already do. Searching on “men’s advice column” didn’t show anything meaningful.

I asked a friend who suggested askmen.com. That site has categories for dating and sex but not relationships. And, of course, plenty on grooming and clothes, which, I guess is to get the advertisers.

Most people I talk to expect men to act first in relationships. Why wouldn’t they seek advice, all the more if it could be anonymous on line? Why the difference between how much women seek and get advice from other women on line?

Can anyone point me to a relationship advice column for men that I’m missing?

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