A model to keep from being scammed

[Today is the forthieth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Have you ever been scammed into buying something that didn’t work? Has anyone ever tried to sell you something too good to be true? Have you lost money gambling you wish you hadn’t?

Do you not like that happening?

A model to keep from being scammed: The laws of physics, science, math, and logic.

Some scams are cons based on abusing trust, but a lot of them are based on things that aren’t possible — perpetual motion devices, fake controversy about the planet’s climate, fake controversy about the health effects of smoking or sugar, and so on.

When you don’t understand nature, causality, and logic, people can persuade you about things easily.

Our understanding of science changes all the time, but some things don’t change — like causality, logic, and the conservation of energy.

I won’t explain how much people miss these effects. Like when they think they can turn on the air conditioner without causing pollution or don’t understand how their diets affect their fitness. It’s frustrating when people miss this stuff when you understand it.

The funny thing is that science isn’t something that happens in a lab. It’s the study of nature — literally everything in the universe.

Of course I include chemistry, biology, and other branches of science. Evolutionary psychology forms the foundation of much of this web page.

When I use this belief

I use this belief all the time, since I’m always interacting with nature. And by nature, I don’t just mean forest streams and clouds. I mean everything.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces taking someone’s word for something with testing and reporting one’s results.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to a greater respect for nature, observation, experiment, and honest reporting of the results.

It leads to more consistent and rational understanding of and communication about the world.

It leads to seeing more beauty in the world.

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A model to keep you from being manipulated by the media

[Today is the thirty-ninth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Does reading or watching the news enrage you? Does it depress you? Make you feel outraged or helpless or scared?

As much as the news media presents itself as something you need to participate as a citizen in society, they always have at least this goal: to sell more ads. They can separate the news from the business section all they want, but everyone knows what sells. Walk into any newsroom and they’ll tell you they have to make an emotional connection. And we know emotions mean motivation.

They want to motivate you to read and watch more.

How do you get people to read and watch more? With the emotions that motivate that — not happiness, calmness, and comfort, I can tell you that. With the emotions like I listed above — outrage, indignation, fear, and so on.

Yes, the media fills an important need exposing problems that would fester otherwise. I value it. But I recognize it always has that one goal. In a competitive environment, those who don’t will lose to those that do and go bankrupt.

A model not to be manipulated by the media: The media wants to keep you reading and seeing their ads.

I had to try this belief out to get it. Some book suggested not following the news for thirty days. The suggestion almost shocked me. How could a responsible citizen not follow the news? I should know the important things happening in the world.

But I tried anyway. I know I tried it in the spring of 2008 because of how powerfully the effect hit me. When I stopped following the news daily the main stories were about the race between Obama and Clinton, specifically who carried which states. A month later when I restarted following the news, the names of the states changed, but the stories were the same.

The candidates policies hadn’t changed. Nothing important changed. But the media presented it like huge things were happening. They want to create controversy and drama. I realized that the media always had that motivation to keep you hooked. I had long known it, but it hit me more when I saw how little the stories changed amid their claims of huge, breaking news.

And I don’t mean just the politicized, polarized cable channels. All news.

But that wasn’t my biggest awakening. That came when I went to a friend’s party with a bunch of politically aware people. I mentioned my experiment and how surprised I was at the results, expecting them to find the story interesting.

Their response surprised me.

They not only didn’t care about my experience, they couldn’t fathom someone would consider not following the news daily. They just about accused me of being irresponsible as a citizen. Needless to say, they didn’t care to hear my experiences and conclusion.

In other words, they sounded addicted. I was convinced. The media wants to addict you to the media.

Yes, I consider knowing some things about the world important, but I recognize the media will polarize and dramatize things to hook people. They will cover things that evoke outrage, shock, horror, and such over mundane things. Is shocking more important than mundane? It’s not obvious to me that covering a school shooting is more important than covering students getting straight As.

Besides, with seven billion people in the world, anything you learn about some you’re not learning about others. You can never learn everything about the world. You mostly learn the most gripping things, which we’ve come to consider the most important, but you don’t have to agree on someone else’s evaluation of importance.

Which is more important, war or peace? Which gets more news coverage? Which makes the history books?

When I use this belief

I use this belief when I find myself hooked on the news. Also when I’m away from the news and wonder if I’m missing anything.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces the addicting belief that following the news is always good, necessary, or both with skepticism.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to having more free time during the day and more freedom with your thoughts.

It leads to you reevaluating what you consider important and historical.

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A model to handle pain

[Today is the thirty-eighth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Does pain make you miserable?

I like the phrase “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” It says that pain doesn’t have to make you feel bad emotionally. How you respond to pain is what makes you feel emotionally bad, and you can control that response.

I prefer to say it more broadly.

A model to handle pain: Pain isn’t bad.

Most people understand the value to their lives of physical pain. Our bodies can be damaged and pain motivates us to protect them. Without pain we’d cut, burn, and break ourselves and worse. With pain we take care of our bodies. We don’t have to think hard to figure out how animals evolved pain.

As physical pain motivates us to protect our bodies, emotional pain motivates us to consider others. Without emotional pain we’d mess up relationships, hurt each other, undermine groups and society, and worse.

Pain isn’t bad. It’s helpful.

We all want to avoid pain. If we think pain is bad, which is different than painful, we risk avoiding it too much or living our lives less than optimally. Sometimes taking risks leads to the best outcomes for yourself. Sometimes the pain is worth it, like the soreness after playing sports, the heartbreak after an exciting fling, or the sting of a business decision that didn’t pay off.

If you think pain is bad, you’ll suffer after those things. If you don’t, you may learn from them.

Strategy

A strategy I’ve tried to adopt is to learn to handle and learn from pain, whether physical or emotional, more than to try to avoid it.

You’ll run a business more effectively if you aren’t afraid of bankruptcy than if you try to avoid it at all costs.

When I use this belief

I use this belief when I find myself avoiding something out of fear of pain, even when I want to do it. I use this belief after something causes me pain and I ask myself if trying what led to the pain was still worth it.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces reactively avoiding pain with considering your options more comprehensively.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to pain not being such a problem and to making better decisions for your business and life.

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A model to help you stay calm and ward off anxiety

[Today is the thirty-seventh in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Do you wish you were born in easier times, when life wasn’t so competitive? When life was easier? The media always talks about today’s razor-thin margins, terrorism, and so on. We have so many things to worry about today. Who can keep up with the pace of change?

Who wouldn’t feel anxious and wish for the good old days?

Today’s model undermines that disappointment in today, thinking the old days were less stressful.

A model to help you stay calm and ward off anxiety: Today is no more stressful than any other time

When you recognize that stress doesn’t come from the outside world, it comes from you wanting the world to be one way when it’s another (a belief, like any other), you realize today isn’t any more stressful than any time before.

You measure your times by your standards, which make today seem the most exciting — a euphemism for stressful. They measured their times by their standards and probably found their times the most exciting.

Many of the main things that stress you today existed then — difficult relationships, concern about money, not having time to do important things, and so on. Most things you think of as uniquely stressful to our times caused stress then too. Technology seems to move fast now, but it did then too — they just didn’t have us to compare themselves to. Neither do we have tomorrow’s people to compare ourselves to.

Meanwhile, they had things we can’t think of then. They didn’t have anaesthesia or countless other things we take for granted.

The main issue is how you handle the world not being how you want. People who couldn’t reconcile things then were miserable, just as today. Those who could were happy. They didn’t have more or less than you do today to handle the differences.

Strategy

When someone tries to cause you stress or you feel miserably unlucky you live in such an unlucky time, consider you might not. You may live in as normal a time as any.

If you think people then could enjoy life, you can find how to enjoy your life. Look for the things you think they had that you wish you did and I’m sure you’ll find them in your world — probably family, friends, hobbies, the beauty of nature, improving yourself. Think of the distractions you wish you could avoid and you can probably find ways to avoid them if others did. Or if you can’t, you can probably find something that annoyed them as much that if they could deal with it you can too.

When I use this belief

I use this belief when someone tries to imply my world is stressful, often reporters or someone in the media.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces allowing others to create stress in my life with calmness and more self-control.

This belief replaces my thinking I live in a special time with believing I live in an ordinary time.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to enjoying life more and greater resilience to problems bringing you down.

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Free short-term coaching from me!

Usually I take on clients for a couple months at a time.

I am testing something new: very short-term coaching, as in twenty minutes. On any topic you want — business, personal, family, school, … it’s up to you.

Sound too short?

I bet you already started thinking if you have anything you could get effective help for in twenty minutes. And I bet you could think of something.

And I bet just preparing for a twenty-minute call will get you to organize your thoughts, helping you understand it better and starting to solve it already. Besides, it’s only twenty minutes.

When I coach business school students at Columbia it’s for fifty minutes, and I’ve seen them make big transformations. You can too.

I am offering free twenty-minute phone/skype coaching sessions on any topic you want, Thursday, May 9, 10am to 10pm NYC time. If you are interested, email me your best time slots on the hour or half-hour at josh@spodek.net.

Check out my testimonials for reviews of my work.

First come first served. The better you prepare, the more progress we can make.

Suggestions

To make twenty minutes work best, I recommend preparing

  • What is your issue
  • What has worked
  • What hasn’t
  • What you want
  • How I can help

Even if you don’t call me, I bet just doing that preparation will help.

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A belief to help you let go when you want to

[Today is the thirty-sixth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

People say “You should just let it go” all the time. Are you able just to let go of important things? Personally, I never could. I don’t think many people can.

Yet I’ve been able to achieve the same effect. Today’s model covers how I’ve achieved it for myself, at least. I don’t claim to have made up this model — only that it works.

A model to help you let go: I can’t let ideas go, but I can crowd them out.

Letting go of ideas, to me, is like trying not to think of a pink elephant. Since the idea you’re trying to let go of is in the mental instruction to forget it, the idea stays in your memory.

What works is not to try to stop thinking about one thing but to start thinking about something new and let the new thought crowd out the old one.

A common example of this practice is after a breakup to look for someone new as the best way to get over the person now gone.

Another common example is when someone feels depressed or lethargic to have them focus on something new, not whatever they’ve been thinking about (usually dwelling on), often including changing their behavior, like by going out.

Strategy

When I want to change a thought or emotion, I don’t look to get rid of it, I look to create new ones and let them crowd out the old ones.

Also, when people say, “Just let it go,” I recommend overlooking that they’re giving un-actionable advice. People trying to be helpful often aren’t, despite their best intents.

Crowd out what you don’t like by analyzing it

I’ve found a tremendously effective application for overcoming anxiety (and many other emotions I don’t like). I often feel anxiety from something I can’t avoid, like a deadline I’m not sure I can make or criticism from someone whose opinion I respect. I used to be unable to avoid feeling anxiety since I couldn’t escape what I thought caused the anxiety. (I have a new model for stress and anxiety, so now I look inward to over come anxiety.)

Now I look at the anxiety to understand it from the perspective of the Model — what perception and belief is causing it, what behavior does it motivate, what evolutionary purpose could anxiety solve, and so on.

People talk about how analyzing life gets in the way of experiencing it. I agree that’s a problem while you’re enjoying something, but analyzing something you don’t want stops you from experiencing it too. In this case it also tells you how to solve your problem.

Instead of avoiding unhealthy food, eat as much healthy food as you want

Any time you’re hungry for junk food, you can eat healthy food until you’re stuffed and you’ll crowd out the craving for junk.

You can always focus on your breathing

No matter how much something annoys you, you can always focus on your breath. Breathing happens automatically, it happens at a comfortable pace, and you can focus on it as closely as you want. Nothing can block you attention to it.

I’m writing this, by the way, just after a dentist appointment, a quintessential place you’d rather crowd out feeling the somewhat painful cleaning. Places breathing helps, off the top of my head

  • Arguments
  • Boring waits
  • When someone bothers you
  • When you get angry
  • When in pain

When I use this belief

I use this belief when I have a thought or feeling I don’t like.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces the un-actionable and often counterproductive intent to “let go.”

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to freedom from unwanted thoughts and feelings.

It leads to freedom to think and feel what you want… though not the obligation, I should add. Sometimes you want to experience a thought or feeling even if you don’t like it.

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What happens when you change beliefs

[Today is the thirty-fifth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

The movie Moneyball and the book it’s based on illustrate how new beliefs take root and can challenge and crowd out your old beliefs. Today’s post is long, but the movie very well illustrates some stages and the emotional challenge of adopting a new belief, facing and overcoming resistance, and how it can lead to effective leadership and creating community.

I’ll quote enough of it here if you haven’t seen the movie, but it was nominated for seven Oscars and stars Brad Pitt, so you probably won’t hate it.

Though we’re looking at personal beliefs and how we react to them and the movie treats groups handling new beliefs, in this case they overlap enough we can learn from the movie.

I should also note that in the movie, the new belief turned out to work better and the gamble to try it paid off. We know gambles don’t always pay off. On the other hand, most of our choices don’t put the lifestyles of dozens of other people and tens of millions of dollars at risk. Though all models affect our emotional state, which is as important as things get to ourselves.

I’ll describe the stages and perspectives the movie shows that parallel what we face when we consider adopting new beliefs, focusing on the emotions involved.

Context

First I’ll note the overall conflict and resolution of the movie. Baseball scouts and managers traditionally evaluated players by certain values, like how fast they run, how confident they looked, and other criteria. That system and those values worked for a lot of people, who enjoyed that system. That system didn’t work for manager of one team, Billie Beane of the 2002 Oakland A’s. He learned about another set of values by which to evaluate players that clashed with the old system, implemented it, and succeed. But he didn’t succeed right away. People who liked the old system stuck with it and pushed back at him, citing evidence, historical precedence, intuition, and so on until and even after his system worked beyond anyone’s expectations, setting records and outperforming teams using the old system. He had to make gut-wrenching decisions, risk his well-being, face harsh criticism, and endure other challenges with little expectation of success along the way.

This same process occurs within us as individuals when we consider and adopt new beliefs and crowd out old ones.

Here are the perspectives in the movie

  • Before you start, the old beliefs work for some people
  • You realize the old belief doesn’t work for you
  • You come to realize and clarify the new belief. That doesn’t mean you believe it yet, just that you’re aware of it.
  • As you play with it you will find conflict between the old and new beliefs. You know the conflict will come in the abstract, but facing them intensifies everything.
  • Those invested in the old beliefs will attack the new beliefs
  • Resistance to the new beliefs persists. Few people can change their beliefs quickly.
  • You will feel self-doubt
  • At some point you will need to steel your resolve, let go of your safety net, and crowding out your old beliefs
  • If you succeed you will create community. That is, people will follow you.

Moneyball illustrates these many stages. In the case of the movie’s main character, he stays the course, his belief works out, and he emerges a leader.

The old belief worked for some

The old belief created a chummy good-old-boy world. Knowing how history played out, we cringe that they’d evaluate player’s ability to play by his girlfriend’s looks, but they probably had great reasons and could point to evidence backing themselves up. Of course, the movie dramatizes things, so they probably had a lot more values besides that one that made more sense. Also, they had years of experience with that system.

This scene shows scouts evaluating a baseball player, if they should sign him up.

Scout 1: Artie, who do you like?
Scout 2: I like Perez. He’s got a classy swing, it’s a real clean stroke.
Scout 3: He can’t hit the curve ball.
Scout 2: Yeah, there’s some work to be done, I’ll admit that.
Scout 3: Yeah, there is.
Scout 2: But he’s noticeable.
Scout 4: And an ugly girlfriend.
Scout 2: What does that mean?
Scout 4: Ugly girl friend means no confidence.
Scout 2: Okay.
Scout 5: Oh, now, you guys are full of it, Artie’s right. This guy’s got an attitude and an attitude is good. I mean it’s the kind of guy who walks into a room his dick has already been there for two minutes.
Scout 6: He passes the eye candy test. He’s got the looks, he’s great at playing the part. He just needs to get some playing time.
Scout 4: I’m just saying his girlfriend is a six at best.

Recognizing that belief didn’t work for him

One guy realized the system didn’t work for him and started looking for other ways. Here we see the General Manager, Billy Beane, pointing out flaws in the old belief. Since believing something means you think it’s true and right, those flaws aren’t enough to convince someone who believes in the old belief, but once you don’t believe in it, it no longer seems logical.

You see believers in each believers see the other as crazy and illogical, but themselves as making so much sense they can’t imagine any need to justify themselves.

Billy Beane: No! What’s the problem, Barry?
Scout 2: We need three eight home runs, a hundred twenty R.B.I’s and forty seven…
Billy Beane: The problem we’re trying to solve is that there are rich teams and there are poor teams, then there’s fifty feet of crap, and then there’s us. It’s an unfair game. And now we’re being gutted, organ donors for the rich. Boston has taken our kidney’s, Yankees takin’ our heart and you guys are sittin’ around talkin’ the same old good boy nonsense, like we’re selling deeds. Like we’re looking for Fabio. We got to think differently… If we try to play like the Yankees in here, we will lose to the Yankees out there.
Scout 1: Boy, that sounds like fortune cookie wisdom to me, Billy.
Billy Beane: No, that’s just logic.

The new belief

Here we see the analyst, fictional Peter Brand, who represents a group of people proposing new ways of evaluating players whose values haven’t yet been tested, describing the problems with the old beliefs, hinting at new beliefs, and describing the emotion and power of the reaction whose beliefs he challenges.

If you’re lucky you’ve faced such powerful and emotional challenges, weathered the storms, and overcome them. If not, I suggest that improving your life will force you to.

Peter Brand: There is an epidemic failure within the game to understand what is really happening and this leads people who run major league baseball teams to misjudge their players and mismanage their teams.
Billy Beane: Go on.
Peter Brand: Okay, people who run ball clubs, they think in terms of buying players. Your goal shouldn’t be to buy players. Your goal should be to buy wins and in order to buy wins, you need to buy your run. You’re trying to replace Johnny Damon. The Boston Red Sox see Johnny Damon and they see a star who’s worth seven and a half million dollars a year. When I see Johnny Damon, what I see is…is an imperfect understanding of where runs come from. The guy’s got a great glove, he’s a decent league off hitter, he can steal bases. But is he worth the seven and a half million dollars a year the Boston Red Sox are paying him? No! No! Baseball thinking is medieval, they are asking all the wrong questions and if I say it to anybody I’m…I’m ostracized. I’m a rebel, so that’s why I’m…I’m cagey about this with you, that’s why I respect you Mr. Beane and if you want full disclosure, I think it’s a good thing you got Damon off of your payroll. I think it opens up all kinds of interesting possibilities.

Peter Brand [later]: It’s about getting things down to one number. Using stats to reread them, we’ll find the value of players that nobody else can see. People are over looked for a variety of biased reasons and perceived flaws. Age, appearance, personality. Bill James [a major historical figure who started this belief] and Mathematics cuts straight through that. Billy, of the twenty thousand knowable players for us to consider, I believe that there’s a championship team of twenty five people that we can afford. Because everyone else in baseball under values them. Like and island of misfit toys.

Peter Brand [later]: Billy, this is Chad Bradford. He’s a relieve pitcher. He’s one of the most under valued players in baseball. His defect is that he throws funny. Nobody in the big leagues chases that, because he looks funny. He’s got to be not just the best pitcher in our ball game, but one of the most effective relieve pitchers in all of baseball.

Conflict between models

Billy Beane has the authority to manage his baseball team as he wants, but people remain on his management team that disagree with him, just like you will have people in your life who will disagree with you. Beane’s management team doesn’t believe they are opposing him, they believe they are helping the team. And people who conflict with you won’t feel like they are challenging your values, they will feel like they are helping you while you’re acting crazy.

When people change their beliefs and values but others don’t recognize the new beliefs and values, they appear crazy, not thoughtful, which this passage illustrates well.

Note the emotions in the conflict. Note how they don’t talk about the different beliefs, they talk about the consequences, so they can’t address the source of the conflict.

Also, note that when you change beliefs, the conflict illustrated here will also likely happen within yourself. Different parts of you will play the different roles here. You’ll have to deal with conflict between yourself and others and conflict within yourself.

Billy Beane: Okay, here’s what we want. Jason’s little brother, Jeremy.
Scout 1: Billy, that’s trouble.
Scout 2: Uh…Billy, look. If I…if I may, he’s certainly had his problems off the field, but we know what he can’t do on the field. There’s reports about him on the weed and strip clubs.
Billy Beane: Well, his on base percentage is all we’re lookin’ at now. And Jeremy gets on base an awful lot for a guy who only cost two hundred and eighty five thousand.
Scout 3: Jeez, Billy…
Billy Beane: Number two, David Justice.
Scout 1: Oh, no!
Scout 3: Not a good idea, Billy.
Scout 2: Old man Justice?

To us, Beane’s logic makes sense — on base percentage matters more than what a player does off the field. To the believers in the old beliefs he sounds crazy. And he gets more crazy proposing old players beneath their consideration.

Scout 3: His legs are gone. We’ll be lucky to get sixty games out of him. Why do you like him?
[Billy points to Peter to answer]
Peter Brand: Because he gets on base.
Billy Beane: Okay, number three. Scott Hatteberg.
Scout 2: Who?
Scout 1: Hatteberg.
Billy Beane: Exactly! He sounds like an Oakland A already. Yes, he’s had a little problem with his elbow…
Scout 3: A little problem? He can’t throw!
Scout 2: He’s a clear two sixty hitter. The best part of his career is over.
Billy Beane: I say it’s just gettin’ started.
Scout 4: I know Boston wants to cut him and no one wants to pick him up.
Billy Beane: That’s good for us, he’s cheap.
Scout 3: Let me get this straight. You’re gonna get a guy that’s been released by half the organization in professional baseball because he’s got non-reparable nerve damage in his elbow and he can’t throw!
Billy Beane: He can’t throw and he can’t field, but what can he do? Guys, check the reports or I’m gonna point at Peter.
[the scouts look at the report]
The Scouts: He gets on base.
Billy Beane: He gets on base!
Scout 2: So he walks a lot.
Billy Beane: He gets on base a lot. Do I care if it’s a walk or a hit?
[looks over at Peter]
Billy Beane: Pete?
Peter Brand: You do not.
Billy Beane: I do not.

Tempers flare. Beane has authority to act without their approval. I don’t like the management style the movie shows. Movies dramatize things by making conflict confrontational and positional. I won’t get into negotiation technique here, except to suggest that there are alternatives to such confrontation and positional negotiation.

Scout 3: Let me get this straight. So you’re not gonna bring in one, but three defective players to replace Giambi? It’s what I’m hearing.
Scout 2: You’re not buying into this Billy James bullshit, right?
Billy Beane: This is the new direction for the Oakland A’s. We are card counters at the Black Jack table, but we’re gonna turn the odds on the casino.
Scout 3: I don’t see it.
Scout 4: Seriously guys, I think we have to remember this is the man. He answers to no one except ownership and God. And he doesn’t have to answer to us. We make suggestions, he makes decisions.
Scout 3: Look that’s all fine and well, but we’ve been working our asses off for the last six and a half weeks to make this ball club better and you’re shitting all over it!
Billy Beane: Hey, this is not a discussion.
Scout 4: What are we discussing?
Billy Beane: Barry, not a discussion.

Attacking the new beliefs

I don’t care how much you believe you can persuade or convince people of your beliefs, ultimately you will face not logical but emotional attacks on your beliefs. People attacking you won’t feel like they’re being irrational, illogical, or attacking. They will feel you are.

Billy Beane: You look unhappy, Grady. Why?
Scout: Wow! May I speak candidly?
Billy Beane: Sure. Go ahead.
Scout: Major league baseball and it’s fans they’re gonna be more than happy to throw you and Google boy into the bus if you keep doing what you’re doing here. You don’t put a team together with a computer, Billy.
Billy Beane: No?
Scout: No. Baseball isn’t just numbers, it’s not science. If it was then anybody could do what we’re doing, but they can’t because they don’t know what we know. They don’t have our experience and they don’t have our intuition.
Billy Beane: Okay.
Scout: Billy, you got a kid in there that’s got a degree in Economics from Yale [Peter Brand]. You got a scout here with twenty nine years of baseball experience. You’re listening to the wrong one. Now there are intangibles that only baseball people understand. You’re discounting what scouts have done for a hundred and fifty years, even yourself!

We see a scout trying to hold on to a tattered and flawed system. He doesn’t. He sees a crazy person who’s lost his bearings and is ruining his own life. He fears his job and his values. You will see this when you lead.

With no other recourse, the scout gets angry and personal. You will see this happen, from other people with vested interest in old beliefs and from parts of yourself.

Scout: This is about you and your shit, isn’t it? Twenty years ago some scout got it wrong.
Billy Beane: Woh! Okay.
Scout: Now you’re gonna declare war on the whole system.
Billy Beane: Okay! Okay. My turn. You don’t have a crystal ball, you can’t look at a kid and predict his future any more than I can. I’ve sat at those kitchen tables with you and listened to you tell those parents ‘When I know, I know! And when it comes to your son, I know’. And you don’t. You don’t!
Scout: Okay, I don’t give a shit about friendship, this situation or the past. Major league baseball thinks the way I think. You’re not gonna win. And I’ll give you a nickel’s worth of free advice. You’re never gonna get another job when Schott fires you after this catastrophic season you’re about to set us all up for. And you’re gonna have to explain to your kid why you work at a Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Resistance persists

Do you think you resolve conflict in one quick step? Sometimes, but not often. Here we see the on-field Manager, Art Howe, resisting the General Manager. You’ll see the attacks stay personal and they don’t directly address the change in values. Many appeals to experience and intuition.

This conflict plays out between two people, but the same thing will happen internally with anyone. I suspect the movie dramatizes the story by giving Beane more resolve and less doubt than he probably had, but I’m not sure.

[after losing the first game of the season]
Billy Beane: I should have made you a bigger part of the conversation from day one. That way we’d be clear what we’re trying to do here. That was my mistake, Art, and I take responsibility for that.
Art Howe: What are you trying to say?
Billy Beane: I’m saying it doesn’t matter what moves I make if you don’t play the team they way they’re designed to be played.
Art Howe: Billy, you’re out of your depth.
Billy Beane: Why not Hatteberg at first?
Art Howe: Because he can’t play first.
Billy Beane: How do you know?
Art Howe: It’s not my first baseball game. Scott Hatteberg can’t hit, he’s keeping us in the fences.


Billy Beane: Could this be about your contract?
Art Howe: No. This is about you doing your job and me doing mine. Mine’s being left alone to manage this team you assembled for me.
Billy Beane: I didn’t assemble it for you, Art.

One of the fired scouts, invested in the old belief, was interviewed on the radio. He publicly attacks the new belief, again, deeply personally. With hindsight we can claim the scout just missed the boat, but I expect that most people would have found his attacks persuasive, carrying the weight of a century of sport and decades of personal experience. Losing games would seem to support the attacks.

[on the radio]
Call-In Radio Host: Grady, can you interpret for us what’s going on?
Fired Scout: They call it Moneyball.
Call-In Radio Host: Moneyball?
Fired Scout: Yes. And it was a nice theory and now it’s just not working out.
Sports Announcer: Billy Beane has built this team on the ideas of a guy named Bill James.
Call-In Radio Host: Right.
Sports Announcer: He wrote an interesting book on baseball statistics. The problem is that Bill James never played, never managed, he was in fact a security guard at a pork and beans company.
Call-In Radio Host: Do you see this as a decimation of the whole team?
Fired Scout: I think that he bought a ticket on the Titanic.
Sports Announcer: Oh, boy! He’s tried to come up with a new approach, my hat’s off to him. It won’t work.

Here is a later radio show, apparently continuing to demonstrate how deeply wrong the new belief is. I’ve written about how any complex change will lead you to doubt yourself at some point something like “I’ve been working at this for six months and I’m worse off than when I started.” Here the criticism comes from outside, but it comes from internal personal doubt too.

Sports Announcer #1: Well with this loss tonight, the Oakland Athletics have incredibly lost fourteen of their last seventeen games. They are ten games back in the American League West.
Sports Announcer #2: It’s fair to say the experiment has failed.

Self-doubt

The stakes don’t let up. Here we see how even third parties to the conflict get involved. Beane’s daughter reads his worry. The tighter your identity intertwines with your beliefs, the more parts of your life will get involved.

By contrast, the more you distinguish your beliefs from absolute certainty, recognizing they have flaws as to any other beliefs, the more free you will be to try new things and not feel punished when things don’t go your way. The more you can get others to distinguish beliefs from absolute certainty the more freedom you’ll all have. Getting yourself to detach yourself from your beliefs is hard enough; getting others to is that much harder, but leads to effective leadership.

Casey Beane: Dad, there’s not way you’re gonna lose your job, right?
Billy Beane: What?
Casey Beane: Well, I don’t know. I’m just wondering.
Billy Beane: Where did you hear that?
Casey Beane: Well I go on the internet sometimes.
Billy Beane: Well, don’t do that. Don’t…don’t go on the internet, or watch TV, or read news papers or talk to…people.
Casey Beane: I don’t talk to people, I just read stuff.
Billy Beane: Honey, everything’s fine. Everything’s fine. Really. You don’t have to worry.
Casey Beane: But if you lose your job we’d have to move away.
Billy Beane: Honey, I’m not gonna lose my job. You don’t have to worry.
Casey Beane: Okay.
Billy Beane: Hey, there’s no problem.
Casey Beane: Okay.
Billy Beane: Right, I got uptown problems, but you’re not a problem at all. You’re not worried, right?
Casey Beane: No, I’m not worried.

Later…

Casey Beane: Are you okay, dad?
Billy Beane: You’re doing it again.
Casey Beane: What?
Billy Beane: You’re worrying about me.
Casey Beane: You have a sad face, dad.
Billy Beane: Do I look worried?
Casey Beane: Yeah.

Resolve, the critical moment, letting go of your safety net, and crowding out your old beliefs

In this scene Brand decides to fire the last of the players who made sense in the old belief system. He has completely crowded out that system from himself and his organization. As you can see, he justifies himself through his the new belief. It hasn’t been proved, but he believes it, meaning he believes it’s correct.

Peter Brand: Billy, Pena is an All Star. Okay? And if you dump him and this Hatteberg thing doesn’t work out the way that we want it to, you know, this is…this is the kind of decision that gets you fired. It is!
Billy Beane: Yes, you’re right. I may lose my job, in which case I’m a forty four year old guy with a high school diploma and a daughter I’d like to be able to send to college. You’re twenty five years old with a degree from Yale and a pretty impressive apprenticeship. I don’t think we’re asking the right question. I think the question we should be asking is, do you believe in this thing or not?
Peter Brand: I do.
Billy Beane: It’s a problem you think we need to explain ourselves. Don’t. To anyone.
Peter Brand: Okay.
Billy Beane: Now, we’re gonna see this thing through, for better or worse. Just tell me, do you project we’ll win more with Hatteberg or Pena first?
Peter Brand: It’s close, but theoretically Hatteberg.
Billy Beane: What are we talking about then?

Community forms

Beane’s team ends up setting the record for the most wins in a row in the American League. Despite lingering doubts from many, some top people in his community come to agree with him. They see the evidence of the new belief even though people who still believe the old beliefs retain their evidence for their beliefs.

Ultimately success builds community of people who share your belief, not proof you are right. Forming community is the essence of leadership, which requires you to believe yourself.

Here a representative from the Boston Red Sox, a team steeped in the old beliefs, offers our hero the highest salary of any General Manager in sports. The mainstream is accepting the renegade idea. On a personal level, the representative recognizes the emotional challenges he must have gone through. Our hero has become a leader of a community he played a major part in forming.

John: For forty one million, you built a playoff team. You lost Damon, Giambi, Isringhausen, Pena and you won more games without them than you did with them. You won the exact same number of games that the Yankee’s won, but the Yankee’s spent one point four million per win and you paid two hundred and sixty thousand. I know you’ve taken it in the teeth out there, but the first guy through the wall. It always gets bloody, always. It’s the threat and not just the way of doing business, but in their minds it’s threatening the game. But really what it’s threatening is their livelihoods, it’s threatening their jobs, it’s threatening the way that they do things. And every time that happens, whether it’s the government or a way of doing business or whatever it is, the people are holding the reins, have their hands on the switch. They will bet you’re crazy. I mean, anybody who’s not building a team right and rebuilding it using your model, they’re dinosaurs. They’ll be sittin’ on their ass on the sofa in October, watch the Boston Red Sox win the world series.
[he takes out a paper from his coat pocket and puts it in front of Billy]
Billy Beane: What’s this?
John: I want you to be my General Manager. That’s my offer.
[Billy take the paper and reads the offer then looks back in shock at John]

Coda

Beane doesn’t take the Red Sox’s offer, but they adopt his philosophy and win their first World Series in 86 years, beating their arch-rival Yankees, the team most invested in the old ways — or at least having spent money the most profligately.

In real life the Red Sox hired Beane’s philosophical forerunner and main real-life driving force behind the new belief, Bill James, whose name showed up in the dialog above.

While Beane didn’t get to take part in the Red Sox’s win or enjoy that big salary, his legacy made it into a seven-Oscar nominated movie, played by Brad Pitt, celebrating his beliefs, resolve, and success, among other successes.

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A model to help create the life and relationships you want

[Today is the thirty-fourth in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Do you want an awesome life filled with things you love or do you want a crappy life filled with things you dislike and hate?

I’d consider today’s belief too simple and obvious to post except that so few people seem to get it. At least they don’t live consistently with the strategy it suggests.

A model to help create the life and relationships you want: You get good at feeling and expressing the emotions you practice and express.

Today’s belief, that

You get good at feeling and expressing the emotions you practice and express

is no different from similar beliefs about any skill. As we said in sports, you play like you practice. The more you practice something, the more skillfully you do it.

If you didn’t realize how systematic your emotional system was (systematic is what the system in emotional system means) and just thought emotions randomly occurred to you, you might not realize you could develop skills to feel and express emotions. That’s one of the reasons I don’t like that the word happy derives from the root hap, meaning luck or chance. Or that we suggest Cupid’s arrow or creative Muses create emotions. They don’t. Our environments, beliefs, and behaviors, combined with the emotional system our ancestors evolved, did. But you already read about the Model the other day, so I don’t have to repeat it here.

The more you get angry, the better you get at feeling and expressing anger. Now people know you as an angry person.

The more you have fun, the better you get at feeling and expressing fun. Now people know you as a fun person.

The more you stay calm, the better you get at feeling and expressing calmness. Now people know you as a calm person.

The more you’re happy, the better you get at feeling and expressing happiness. Now people know you as a happy person.

The more you inspire, the better you get at feeling and expressing inspiration. Now people know you as an inspirational person.

The more you love, the better you get at feeling and expressing love. Now people know you as a loving person.

At the risk of sounding too touchy-feely, I’ll restate today’s model with everyone’s favorite emotion

The more you love, the more you can love.

You get the idea. It follows for every emotion. The more you feel and practice each emotion the more you fill your life with the environments, beliefs, and behaviors that create it and the more it becomes a part of your life.

What emotions do you want in your life?

Strategy

If you want more of some emotion in your life, start creating more of it and build on that. I recommend using the Method.

When I use this belief

I use this belief when I notice an emotion I don’t want in my life taking up more of my life than I want. I also use this belief when I feel an emotion and realize I want more of it.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces helplessly thinking emotions just happen to you with empowering you to create more of the emotions you want, crowding out emotions you don’t want.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to more emotions you want and less of ones you don’t want. It leads to you creating emotions with your emotional system like a piano player creates music with a piano. It leads you to practice creating emotions like a piano player plays scales.

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A model to remove limits from your life

[Today is the thirty-third in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Do you want an okay life? Do you want limits on how much you can get out of life?

Or do you prefer to have no limits on how much you can get out of life?

Remember from two days ago that the value, meaning, importance, and purpose (MVIP) of a thing comes from the emotions it evokes. Remember from yesterday that you can create reward any time any place.

It follows that you can create more reward all the time, even when you’re feeling as much reward as you think you can. There’s no limit to how much reward you can have, which means not limit to the MVIP in your life. And MVIP is what matters, more than anything physical.

A model to remove limits from your life: You can create as much reward as you want. There is no upper limit to reward.

When I started looking for ways to improve my social and leadership skills or any part of my life, I looked for areas lacking reward — parts of my life that evoked anxiety, confusion, impatience, disappointment, and other emotions arising from conflict between my environment, belief, and behavior (the elements in the Model I can control). I would resolve the conflict that prevented the related parts of my life from bringing me reward, a process some people call conquering their fears.

It didn’t take long before I had transformed most of my anxieties into rewarding things. Then I realized I could improve my life not just by increasing the reward from unrewarding things. I could improve my life by increasing the reward from anything — even already-rewarding things.

I realized sometimes the best place to increase reward — thereby creating MVIP — was in places I had just improved. Then I realized I could work on any part of my life.

Next thing I knew, I was improving every part of my life. I don’t mean I was changing my material state. More money didn’t magically appear in my account. New friends didn’t pop into existence. Remember, the value of material things comes from the emotions they evoke. As I learned to create emotions in more areas, mainly by changing my beliefs and behavior, more things evoked reward. Then more reward.

So while I couldn’t get unlimited material stuff, which I wouldn’t want anyway, I got unlimited MVIP from what I did have.

When I use this belief

I use this belief all the time.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces thinking you need more stuff, which is finite, to get reward and MVIP, which is unlimited.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads more MVIP in your life — without limit.

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A model to find reward anywhere, anytime

[Today is the thirty-second in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.]

Do you ever find yourself frustrated, impatient, disappointed, anxious, or feeling some similar emotion and wish you could not feel it? Do you wonder how some people can keep calm or at least not lose control in situations more difficult than you can and wish you could too?

Do you want to know how to handle yourself in situations you don’t like and can’t control?

Today’s model derives from the Model. If you get the Model, it will be obvious. I’ll remind you of a distinction the Model makes, that I believe follows regular uses of the words, between pleasure, happiness, and reward. If the following uses of the words aren’t exactly how you use them, please don’t get hung up on the words so much as the meaning behind them. The meaning of the terms overlap in regular usage and I’m artificially distinguishing them to highlight slight differences.

I’ll use the word pleasure to describe a physical feeling you like. Maybe physical pleasure might be a better term; substitute that if it works better for you. Many things can give you pleasure — food you like, smells you like, a massage you like, falling asleep when you’re tired, and so on. The cause always comes from your environment.

I’ll use the word happy to describe emotional feelings you like. Many emotions can be happy emotions. They always motivate you to keep something in your environment the way it is. Many things can bring happiness — good times with friends, finishing a project, seeing your child succeed, and so on. Compared to something that brings just pleasure, something that bring happiness is more complex and doesn’t just come from something you sense. When you feel happy or a related emotion you want to keep whatever caused it the way it is.

I’ll use the word reward for the feeling you get when things are the way you like them, but in particular for something you helped bring about. You get reward from how you interpret and react to your environment, even parts of it you can’t change, because you can always change your beliefs to interpret your environment differently.

A model to find reward anywhere, anytime: Pleasure and happiness depend on your environment. Reward doesn’t. You can get reward under any conditions.

Did you notice this major difference between pleasure and happiness on the one had and reward on the other? Happiness and pleasure come from something external, meaning they depend on things outside your control, meaning you can lose them. Reward comes from how you interpret your environment and behave with respect to it — which you can do independent of the environment.

In other words, you can create reward under any conditions. I believe Auschwitz survivor Victor Frankl meant this when he wrote about finding meaning in life even under worse physical conditions than anyone reading these words will likely face

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

When we are no longer able to change a situation – just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer – we are challenged to change ourselves.

When I use this belief

I use this belief in situations I don’t like but can’t change. I think of how to perceive them differently by changing my beliefs. The result? I can create reward even amid pain (physical, emotional, or otherwise) and unhappiness. Then I’m more capable of handling the situation and creating results I want.

In other words, I feel better and improve my life faster. What more could you want than a better present and as good a future as you can create?

Will I be able to handle situations as difficult as Frankl if I face them? I hope I never have to find out. I hope nobody ever again has to find out. But if I do, I hope I learn from him and find myself able enough to create reward and meaning amid torture and deprivation. In the meantime, I plan to use what he shared to live life with as much as possible.

What this belief replaces

This belief replaces helplessly accepting situations I don’t like. It replaces misery and complacency with reward and effective action.

I can’t solve every problem that comes my way but I can control how they affect me and how I react to them.

Where this belief leads

This belief leads to independence and resilience.

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