Notice this pattern and you’ll know how to improve it. It applies to an activity. I’m thinking of exercise when I write it, but many activities fit it.

The pattern

1. When you’re not about to do it, you think of it as something you generally want to do.
2. When you’re about to do it, you feel anxious, maybe to the point of fear.
3. You have to overcome that anxiety and fear to start it.
4. Starting is hard.
5. After you start, it’s hard and unpleasant, but you feel emotional reward for doing it.
6. As hard as it is, since you’re doing it, you want to keep doing it and push your limits.
7. As much as you want to keep doing it, you can’t keep it up.
8. Stopping is relieving.
9. When you finish, you’re glad you did it—not just you feel pleasure or emotional reward. You feel you’re a better person.
10. You want to do it again and you’re back at step 1.

Examples

Some examples from my life

• Challenging exercises—burpees, marathons, etc
• Most SIDCHAs
• Cold showers
• Cooking dinner from scratch
• Creating art for public viewing
• Practicing social skill exercises
• Performing in front of an audience

What to do with this pattern

I recommend looking for this in your activities and make habits of them. Steps 2, 3, and 4 discourage most people. Getting over them improves your life immeasurably. I suggest that it’s worth it.

So simple! Yet so hard to do, I know. Until you make habits of it.

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