People who claim not to judge and blame often do, illustrated

Early in my blog I posted about how people often don’t realize how much they judge and blame, even when they believe they don’t. People often say others judge and blame when the others’ values differ. When they themselves judge and blame they just think they’re calling it like it is. As I wrote then, it’s easy to say you don’t judge or blame when talking about other people’s values that you don’t share. It’s more difficult when talking about your values.

I find myself judging and blaming more than I want to, but I think I’ve decreased a lot. I’ve written about exercises that worked for me, making me pleasantly surprised at how much judging and blaming less improved relationships. As I’ve written many times, I try not to look for blame but to take responsibility for making things better to the extent I can.

Anyway, the Daily Show showed some great, funny examples of people calling themselves inclusive and appreciating the values of others while excluding and dismissing others and their values. I wonder if the people in the videos found seeing themselves revelatory of the two sets of values they used to evaluate themselves versus other people.

Needless to say, they didn’t realize the two standards they used. They felt like they were right and the others were wrong. I wonder how many of us do the same thing without realizing it? How much can we learn about ourselves and grow, like the woman at the end of the video had the opportunity to?

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About Joshua

Former rocket scientist now entrepreneur, leadership coach, speaker, and artist, Joshua Spodek (PhD ’00, Astrophysics; MBA ’06; both Columbia University) has succeeded at many big things that few people even try. More importantly, he loves everything he does. A modern renaissance man, he studied with Nobel Prize winners and helped build a European Space Agency X-ray satellite to observe supernova remnants, then started a business now operating globally based on several of his patents. He coaches leadership with the Columbia Business School Program on Social Intelligence and taught at New York University and the New School. He earned five Ivy-League diplomas; has shown his art in solo gallery shows and museums and installed large public art in New York and around the world; socializes with Academy Award winners; ran five marathons; and competed at national and global sporting events. He has been quoted and profiled in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, USA Today, Fortune, CNN, and the major broadcast networks. Esquire Magazine named him “Best and Brightest” in its annual Genius issue. More here: http://joshuaspodek.com/about
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One Response to People who claim not to judge and blame often do, illustrated

  1. Pingback: People who claim not to judge and blame often do, illustrated, part 2 » Joshua Spodek

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