Reply To: Exercise 6: Unwanted Beliefs
Unwanted Beliefs
I didn’t have very many unwanted emotions this week and ended up writing down 10 beliefs. What might be more likely is that I just wasn’t tuned into some of the emotions. And that’s okay! That’s why I’m here: to practice! The majority of the emotions were anxiety and judgment (is that even an emotion?). My internship ended this week and I was moving so I often traced the feeling of anxiety back to a belief like, “stability makes for a happy life” or “having lots of stuff makes life harder.” I definitely believe the second one. I also agree with the first belief, but I’m sure there will be a time when I trace a different (or maybe the same) emotion back to a belief like, “too much stability makes life less fun/meaningful.”
Needless to say, it was very interesting and pretty fun to do this exercise. Now that I think about it, there were times when I recognized an emotion but couldn’t stop to write it down. I still thought about it and identified the belief I thought it was coming from. So, I guess I had more than 10 this week. Plus, I usually connected each emotion with more than one belief.
Sometimes, after connecting a belief to an emotion, I realized that the emotion was totally silly. But not in a dismissive way; I could look at the emotion and genuinely laugh it away. Then, I could choose my next action with much more clarity based on the true belief. I found this exercise to be the most liberating and helpful thus far. Paying attention to emotions and tracing them to a belief was practical and effective for improving my mood.
How did this exercise compare with writing my beliefs?
I liked this one more. Though I definitely benefited from starting with writing all the beliefs that came to mind. I think I’m getting better at figuring out what the underlying belief(s) is when I have judgments, make strategies, or feel emotions.
Was I able to separate my beliefs from the emotions they evoked?
I think so. Examining the beliefs made it easier to think objectively about whatever was going on. Rather than feeling an unwanted emotion and trying to out-think it or avoid it, I could dive a little deeper and let it go.
Was I able to separate my beliefs from my identity?
Yes. I think writing them down separates them, at least in that moment. And the more moments I can do that, the more separated they will actually become. Intellectually, I know I am not defined by the crazy things going on in my head. I even know that some beliefs that pop-up don’t make sense or align with who I want to be. Yet they persist! I really do think continuing this practice will separate them more and lead to me feeling more free from these beliefs that don’t serve me.
How did I feel while thinking about the beliefs and emotions?
It felt good! In a way, it’s embarrassing to write down some of the emotions I have throughout a day. But at the same time, it’s freeing. Once they were written I could see much more clearly why they were coming up. It was easier to have compassion for myself.
How did that feeling change over the course of the exercise if it did?
It felt better and more natural. I feel like I improved in my ability to identify beliefs from emotions. By the end of the week I also became more comfortable examining my beliefs at face value, with less judgment. I’m coming to fully appreciate the depth and nuances of my psyche, understanding that thoughts, emotions, and beliefs don’t necessarily have anything to do with my true self.
Did awareness of the belief make the emotions stronger? Weaker? Different?
I think the emotions typically got weaker. Maybe because I had something else to occupy my mind (figuring out the belief the emotion stemmed from) or maybe because I realized it was silly in the process. Sometimes the emotion would shift to be more positive because once I identified the belief, I could see that the opposite might actually be true (sadness and “my actions don’t matter” turned into motivation and “ living with integrity makes life valuable”). Only once or twice did the emotions get stronger. In these instances, it was because I felt the emotion and belief were important for me to think about more deeply.
Where and how might I apply my experience in the rest of my life?
Maybe I need to think of a better answer to this question. I always say that I’d like to keep practicing it and thus apply it everywhere. If I can be more specific, it’d probably help me to actually keep applying it elsewhere. Though this exercise seems more manageable than some of the others. It seems easier to me to notice when I’m feeling an unwanted emotion than to notice random beliefs throughout the day.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’m just in a good mood right now, or I have a skewed memory of the week, but I think this exercise helped me be more positive. I feel like I was able to calmly identify emotions, find their source, and either laugh at it or embrace it with true compassion, which enabled me to move on.