Exercise 14: The Model
by Joshua
in
Home › Forums › Leadership Course 2024 › Exercise 14: The Model
- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by Olivia Ong.
-
AuthorPosts
-
-
January 17, 2025 at 3:35 pm #20587JoshuaKeymaster
Exercise 14: The Model
Please post your reflections on The Model including addressing some of the questions on pages 135, as well as two situations:
Environment
Beliefs
Emotions
Behavior
-
January 18, 2025 at 12:57 pm #20589Hayden KessingerParticipant
The Model
This week was rather interesting for me. I have almost no conscious experience of using models. I’m aware that I use some type of models for making sense of the world, but I had never thought about it much before. I’ve definitely never written anything down to understand my models. It seemed like a lot of the information was complementary to exercise 8 & 9 when we changed our beliefs. I’m very interested to see how using The Model makes that process more/less effective. I see how useful it is to understand that everyone has different models and I really liked the model of “everyone does their best based on their view of the world and their ability.” I think I’ve followed a similar model for a while now; always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially when someone is upset with someone else. I think it’s useful to have a clear model for this. Sort of like how Eugene’s advice to “listen, don’t wait to talk” has given me something to latch onto and re-center myself in conversations, I think having a model helps in a similar way. I guess “listen don’t wait to talk” is a model itself?
I found the part about perceptions of a car to be helpful and very relevant to me now. I remembered that I used to view a car much more as a source of freedom and a status symbol than a polluter. Now, it’s flipped. To me, cars are polluters first, freedom/status symbol second. And despite my change in values, I still see cars, at least to some degree, as a source of freedom and status symbol. I also used to see them as sources of pollution but not prominently, or maybe I just felt like there was no avoiding it.
I think it’s going to take some re-reading of my notes and practice with The Model to wrap my head around it all. I think I’m facing an inner conflict with this: I absolutely recognize the value of understanding the human emotional system and I want to, but I also feel like this makes it less natural and real. I’m sure I’m not the first person to have said something like this. Despite this feeling, I’m open to exploring it and seeing how it goes. I guess I’m worried that by creating models and systems to help me understand and lead others more effectively will be at the cost of experiencing the world more humanly. This could very well just be a cop-out/resistance to doing more work. We shall see!
Here are my two situations
I want to spend less time on screens (phone, TV, laptop)
• Environment:At home in my living room and bedroom, every day.
• Belief: Watching movies, TV shows, videos, etc. is fun, helps me relax, and I learn from them.
• Emotion: Relaxed and some pleasure, but also boredom, frustration, disappointment, complacency and shame
• Behavior: Spending time on screens instead of spending time with family, reading, getting more sleep, exercising, or other activities that would make me happierI want to meditate every day
• Environment: In my room, every morning.
• Belief: I don’t need to meditate, and even though it brings me benefits, I have other more important things to do.
• Emotion: Avoidance, self-deceit (not sure if those are emotions), arrogant, embarrassment.
• Behavior: Sometimes I meditate, most time I avoid it and do something else instead (like spend time on screens!).How did The Model compare with my models for emotions and leadership?
Before last week, I had never spent any time consciously thinking about my models for things, so I don’t have anything to compare it to.What other models do I use for people, emotions, and motivations?
Like I said above, I haven’t consciously used models before. However, I can try to think of examples now. With people, I guess I try to follow a model that says everyone is inherently a good person; I do my best to give people the benefit of doubt.For emotions, I’m not sure; I suppose I intellectually recognize emotions as useful, important, and things that make us who we are. But I also think I’ve spent a lot of time viewing most emotions as something to avoid, because we have to use logic and evidence to make decisions. Recently, I’ve been really feeling a lack of emotional expression.
In my last post I referenced David Goggins who says that “motivation is crap.” I think that’s been somewhat of a model for me. I experience it often myself; I feel motivated relatively frequently but rarely act on it. I also use the phrase “mood follows action” to motivate myself when I have little. So, I think my models for motivation rest on the need for something else to complete the motivation. This is what I believe The Model does.
How would I change The Model for my use?
I’m not sure I can say yet. With limited experience thinking about/using models, I don’t know how it might serve me better. I’ll use it some and see if I come up with anything.What happens when I break down situations in my life into environments, beliefs, emotions, and behavior?
It definitely puts things in perspective. It simplifies the situations and lays it all out very plainly. Like all types of writing for me, I think just the act of getting it out of my head helps me do something about it. Breaking it down specifically into the 4 parts makes it so I can think about each of them on their own. The next exercise is to work with our situations and I already have ideas of how to achieve the outcome I want by tinkering with each piece. And even though breaking it down like this separates them, it also helps show how they come together. I got a deeper insight into my emotions and beliefs that are driving the behavior within certain environments.So far, for me, I think The Model does exactly what is was created to do: simplify things and be useful.
What is the difference between pleasure, happiness, and emotional reward?
This was an interesting part of the video and I agree with how Josh described these emotions. Though each are distinct, I think of these three emotions as being on a sort of spectrum. Pleasurable is at one end; it’s easiest to achieve, most fleeting, least meaningful, and may come from genuine, healthy experiences or in-genuine, unhealthy ones (like eating cookies for dinner). Happiness is in the middle; it is more complex than pleasure, longer lasting, more meaningful, and almost always comes from genuine, healthy experiences. Reward is at the other end; it is typically hardest to achieve, but also most meaningful, longest-lasting, and (I think) always comes from genuine, healthy (healthy probably isn’t the best word, because it’s so subjective… but I guess for something to feel rewarding, I would bet that it has to feel healthy for the individual) experiences.Where and how might I apply The Model or my version of it in the rest of my life?
For now, I’ll see how it helps me over the next week and decide how I might change it or create something new to help me more. -
January 18, 2025 at 5:37 pm #20590BethParticipant
The Model
Situation 1: I have anxiety about the changing administration in the US government and want to feel more calm and directed
ENVIRONMENT – In my home reading about or watching the news about the incoming administration or having conversations with friends
BELIEF – Autocracy and oligarchy are taking over in the US government
EMOTION – Sadness, resignation, determination, curiosity
BEHAVIOR –
1. Avoid reading or watching any news and avoid discussions of it
2. Engage with Indivisible to learn how to use my individual power to more effectively use my power as an individual citizen.
3. Change my self-talk to include the “opportunity” that the current circumstances offer in changing what needs to be changed in order for government to serve the needs of all its citizens.Situation 2: I would like to be more flexible physically
ENVIRONMENT – Arriving home after my daily exercise routine.
BELIEF – Exercising every day makes me feel good about life and adding stretching at the end would make it even better.
EMOTION – Relaxation, satisfaction
BEHAVIOR – Finish my daily exercise routine with stretching.
REFLECTIONS:
I have not exactly written out my “emotional model” before this class but I have studied them and have used them consistently throughout my life with increasing awareness of doing so as the years progressed. I enjoyed seeing how Josh structures his thinking about this topic. I would say the most stark contrast I see in my model from Josh’s is that mine is more based on emotional experience than mental constructs. An example of this would be in his discussion about beauty at the end of the third video. When asking if one could see beauty in one scene vs. another, he referred to recognizing the plate tectonics of the mountain scenes in his journey to seeing the “equal” beauty of the scenes. I immediately imagined myself sitting in those scenes and felt the presence of beauty which also was an imaginative exercise but one that focused on feeling (“presence”) rather than thinking about their nature. Even with the cockroach I could see myself in the presence of the roach appreciating its design and intricacy. With the person polluting, I could feel the “person-ness” which sparks my curiosity about what they might be thinking when they decide to leave the car running with the a/c on, or wonder if they are stressed, hurried, etc.The usefulness of using environments, beliefs, emotions, behaviors is yet to be seen for me. I appreciated the invitation to look toward a couple of things I would like to address and to apply this model. I don’t feel ready to evaluate comparisons or usefulness yet.
The discussion of pleasure, happiness and reward made me think about the studies in delayed gratification. In some ways, this demonstrates the difference in the instant pleasure of now and the ability to imagine experiencing increased gratification (reward?) if I wait just a little while longer. Will I withstand the discomfort of “longing” right now for the perceived greater reward later? I have pondered this issue in this group of people interested in changing our own behaviors regarding polluting and changing the tide of behavioral norms in our human society. It seems to me that people in this group experiences the sensation of reward, and even happiness, without the necessity of “pleasure” immediately. In my experience, the pleasure may come, but it isn’t necessarily immediate. I’m still working on this but it is definitely in the mix as I examine the differences between the three.
-
January 19, 2025 at 9:06 am #20594Hayden KessingerParticipant
Hi Beth,
I forgot to write about my perspectives on seeing beauty in all things, so thanks for sharing yours and reminding me. I feel very grateful for the fact that I pretty quickly felt like each image was just as beautiful as the last, in their own ways. I didn’t need to consciously think about how or why. I’m not sure how long I’ve thought like this or where it comes from, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t just inherent to me — I think I’ve gotten here through some sort of practice.
-
-
January 18, 2025 at 9:59 pm #20591Jim JenkinsParticipant
Exercise 14: Using the Human Emotional System Model to improve your life.
Situation 1: Improving strategic sustainability leadership
Environment: At work, with a never ending workload of tactical tasks and procedural problem solving, at home feeling tired and unable to concentrate
Perceptions/Beliefs: If I dedicate time each day at work to think and show up as a strategic leader and at home learn and practice, I’ll create new momentum and opportunities to make a bigger impact across my life.
Emotion: happiness and fulfillment(satisfaction)
Behaviour: Dedicate time each day to learn, practice and get feedback on my strategic leadership skills, even if it is a small amount of time on some days (10 minutes).Situation 2: Improve my ability to inspire others
Environment: Deflated work environment, uncertainty, just trying to get through, static work contacts
Perceptions/Beliefs: Things are not going to change for the better, caught in the same old vortex, nothing will make a difference
Emotion: Frustration, resignation, painful
Behaviour: uninspired, do the minimum, reduced interactionREFLECTIONS:
1. How did the model compare with my models for emotions and leadership?
• For getting unstuck THE MODEL seems more effective.
• I’ve tended to deal with emotions and leadership distinct from each other and in some cases probably tried to take the emotion out of the equation.2. What other models do you use for people, emotions, and motivations?
• This session has me asking me what models do I have for people, emotions and motivations.
• Intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, incentive models. As a formal leader I do try to match individual motivations and interests with work that will help them achieve something they desire.
• Cognitive coaching model3. How would you change the model for your use?
• I don’t think I will until I practice and understand it more fully.4. What happens when you break down situations in your life into environments, beliefs, emotions, and behaviour?
• Much clearer to see how one leads to the other, where and why I’m stuck, how my mindset is often my biggest barrier to progressing, easier to see opportunities for how you can change the outcome to be more desirable. Like holding yourself up to a mirror.5. What is the difference between pleasure, happiness, and emotional reward?
• The part of the brain and the brain chemistry that triggers them are somewhat different.
• The length of time each of them last
• The type of motivation that results6. Where and how might you apply The Model or your version of it in the remainder of your life?
• I see significant utility in the model across my life.
• Coaching myself and others in being more self aware.
• Understanding the leadership dynamics in an organization or person and how to influence or respond them more effectively.
• Helping me go further and faster in achieving my life goals. -
January 19, 2025 at 8:13 pm #20595Eugene BibleParticipant
Exercise 14: The Model
This week’s exercise from Josh’s Leadership Step By Step was called The Model, and the assignment was to watch a few of Josh’s videos on The Model, which showed me a system to begin to analyze my own emotional processes surrounding something I’d like to improve at, then try to do the analysis for a couple things I want to get better at.
I could try to explain The Model here, but I don’t think I would do it much justice, so I will leave that to Josh and his YouTube channel and give a quick summary of my interpretation of it for those who don’t want to go that far. My understanding is that the basic idea is that our emotions are the primary driver of so many of our actions, and The Model asks you to analyze your behaviors through four lenses: the environment, your perception/belief that is leading to the behavior, the emotions you feel, and the behavior itself:
The idea being, that once you’ve identified these four areas, you can use his next process (“The Method”, next week’s exercise!) to change those situations, behaviors, and the emotions you feel – in other words, getting rid of situations you don’t like in your life and replacing them with ones that you do.
As examples, I’ll use the two situations that I wrote out:
Situation I’d Like to Improve: Have more meaningful relationships with friends and family.
Environment: Anywhere, mostly at home (phone, video calls, etc.)
Belief: Everyone (including myself) is too busy to talk, I will be interrupting them if I call them and bother them “just” to chat. Friends and family will get uncomfortable if I bring up “hard” conversations.
Emotion: Loneliness, sadness, frustration, emptiness
Behavior: End up not calling/texting/communicating, and if I do, limit the conversation to shallow topics.Situation I’d Like to Improve: Posting online content on a schedule and staying with it.
Environment: Anywhere (mostly at home?)
Belief: I am too busy with too many other priorities to get ahead on writing and scheduling content. “It is too hard or takes too much time to do right now.”
Emotion: Stress, frustration, helplessness, disappointment
Behavior: Avoid writing and posting, even though I know I have the time to do it.Writing these out was an interesting process. It feels stupid to say at this point, but it felt like I was taking the first step towards fixing two uncomfortable situations in my life! If you want to figure out how to fix a leak in a pipe, you first have to figure out where the leak is, how big it is, what methods you could use to fix it, etc…And this model just does the same thing for a disliked situation. I don’t like having conversations that are shallow and feel superficial. Now I’ve analyzed when it happens, what I’m doing, what shallow conversations make me feel, and what is the belief behind why I don’t just make the change.
The biggest help this exercise gave me was in just being introduced to the concept of a model for dealing with emotions, beliefs, and situations I don’t like. These situations can often feel powerless; that this is just how it is and it’s hard to change. I don’t like it, so therefore if it were something I could control, I would. It’s easier to just say “I don’t even know where to start with fixing this” and just give up. But this model made it pretty simple: break it down into 4 simple categories. I didn’t anticipate that doing that alone would change how I feel about a situation, but I was surprised at just how much breaking them up made it feel like I was taking control over them. It gave me some ownership over them. They began to turn ‘powerless’ into ‘powerful.’
There were times as I wrote the situations and categories that didn’t quite feel like they were complete – maybe there is another category that I could add to make the analysis feel more complete or satisfying to me, but I haven’t been able to figure it out yet. Something just felt like there’s a way I could make this model fit myself even better. However, now that I know a model exists, I will use this one as a jump-off point to start thinking about what my own model could be.
I’m looking forward to going into next week’s exercise when we will have to practice The Method, which is Josh’s model for taking this analysis and using it to create change and take control of these disliked situations.
-
January 26, 2025 at 3:08 am #20615Olivia OngParticipant
Leadership Step by Step Exercise 14: The Model
Activity: Write two situations I want to improve using The Model.
I want to be more efficient with doing work.
Environment: My home, my office
Belief: I have time to waste, I can get to things later, I have enough time to do everything.
Emotion: Incongruence, frustration, then feeling rushed later when I play catch up.
Behavior: Procrastination, dilly-dallying, then rushing when I get back to work.I want to improve my sleep habits.
Environment: My home
Belief: I can function on very little sleep. I can go to sleep late and still wake up early.
Emotion: Greed with time and being able to do things, then tiredness when I wake up.
Behavior: Doing things late at night and getting distracted, then going to bed late when I feel tired.Reflection:
The Model is very different from my own models for emotions and leadership as I do not combine the four elements that The Model does. However, I do believe that it relates to my own model for leadership as it relates to changing personal behavior.
Reflecting on The Model itself, it seems that it lends itself to allowing me to better troubleshoot where the problem lies, or rather, where I can best use a strategy with the highest efficiency. By breaking things up into four components, it affords me the opportunity to scrutinize each component and evaluate whether each one is desirable – if yes, I can keep it, and if not, I can strategize and experiment with how to change it.
Pleasure, happiness, and emotional reward feel similar and different to me. The three are all desirable, and yet, pleasure and happiness seem more temporary to me, whereas emotional reward feels a little bit longer term and more sustaining. The first two also seem more fleeting and shallow, whereas emotional reward feels more deeply fulfilling.
The applicability of The Model appears to be in all areas of life when crafting an intentional life – i.e. in pursuit of more of what we desire and in pruning more of what does not serve us. I think I would need an iterative process and a sounding board in order to get the most out of this.
-
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.