To meet more valuable people, spend less time with people you know

December 12, 2015 by Joshua
in Choosing/Decision-Making, Relationships

Just back from an all-day networking event not just to meet people but for improving how you meet people I realized something new.

Do you try to meet new people to improve your network?

If you want to meet people who match with you more than people you already know, you have to free time from the people you know.

In other words, you have to spend less time with people you know to spend more time with people who work with you more. Does that sound Machiavellian? I don’t see an alternative, unless you can add more hours to your day. It’s a simple result of your time being limited. You can spend less and less time with people you know until all you do is text them as infrequently as possible, but what kind of relationship is that?

The choices I see in meeting new people are:

  1. Stop meeting new people and stick with those you know
  2. Meet new people and spend less time with everyone, including the new people
  3. Meet new people and spend less time with those you already knew but who don’t match as well

I think most people try for option 2, not deliberately, but by meeting new people and dreaming that the new connections won’t affect the old ones. The result: superficial, aimless relationships with everyone.

Removing people from the group you spend time with is the only option to improve your network. Whether it sounds Machiavellian or not, you might as well get used to it, because it’s better than the alternatives and you’re probably doing it anyway.

Why kid yourself?

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