Reply To: Exercise 1: Initiative Personal Essay
Method Initiative Exercise 1: Personal Essay
What motivated you to learn initiative?
During the pandemic I had worked with a personal coach who taught me to ‘lean into my resistance’. Not only with the sustainability workshop that I first took, as well as with initiative, I felt great resistance to taking the courses. This was my first curiosity, to lean into the resistance. I was curious about potential blind spots that I would uncover while taking the sustainability workshop, anything I may have missed in my initial concern and critique of an unclear value proposition, as well as the comical offenses I took to Josh telling me that engineers seemed to lack resonance. I, for one, asked myself – what if I’m a fake engineer, and what if I look/act like one, but am not really one? How could he simply write me off as an engineer who lacked resonance without providing me a clear value proposition for me to evaluate my interest? Josh’s blind spot with generalizing engineers or engineer-esque types triggered an annoyance in me and a determination to figure out what I may uncover in mine. I received some feedback from Josh at one point that I interrupted someone consistently I was practicing the Spodek Method with them in one of the sessions. That piece of feedback I often came to conclude myself in reflections after conversations with others prior to the workshop. It was the first time someone so directly told me in a context that wasn’t me directly conversing with the person giving me the feedback. It was a mild stun, a reminder of a repetitive reflection, and a call to be more mindful and intentional in future interactions of all types. While I’m still completing the last homework, much to my chagrin of loose ends dangling indefinitely, leaning into my resistance led me to learn about myself, how I took feedback, how I interacted with others, and more may still unravel.
My second curiosity came when Josh told a small group of us that if we felt like we didn’t have enough time, that we really ought to take Initiative. It felt counterintuitive, and I felt more resistance. Time to lean in again. However, there were threads of familiarity. When I first met Josh and Evelyn, who led me through the sustainability workshop, we connected over some ongoing efforts I’d had in minimalism, or rather, essentialism. The saying, ‘less is more’, is indeed cliché, but I soon found that to be true for myself when it came to belongings, priorities, commitments, people, etc. I’m still working on a few of these. Over the course of the last 9 years, since my grad school friend James handed me ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up,’ I’ve been peeling back the layers of the onion, and still am, of decluttering my life – removing things that don’t matter to me, to make room for more things that do. And so, as counterintuitive as ‘letting go to gain’ is, I figured I had nothing to lose to try. Even if I failed, or quit half way, it would tell me that perhaps it wasn’t my thing nor was the timing right, or perhaps the reward wasn’t great enough, or perhaps the pain wasn’t annoying enough. And so, against my resistance, my curiosity prevailed yet again and here I am, writing the first exercise.
My third curiosity arose when I listened to the video Josh put together sharing what folks had gotten out of the class. Namely a ‘lady who always said that when she had enough money, she’d pivot to a project she really cared about, who through initiative, completely cut directly to the project she cared about and was thriving.’ Despite Josh’s multiple follow ups and my hesitance to commit yet more time and energy into something that was yet another distraction to my focus, the living evidence of a former student spoke volumes about helping me to focus, and to further shave items from my pot filled with shiny objects. I’d always justified diversifying my attention, but that was only because I didn’t have a means to focus. Initiative seemed to promise clarity and a means to find focus or cut things that are non-essential. How much more ‘Olivia’ could it get, than to pursue intentionality with cultivating essentialism in life?
As my boyfriend puts it, there comes a time when one ought to ‘shit, or get off the pot’. It seems like that time has matured for me, and there are many things for which I need to make that decision. With great curiosity and much resistance, paired with the skill of leaning into resistance and not running at the first sign of non-resonance, here I am.
What do you hope or expect to come from learning initiative?
I hope to come to faster iterations of passion, initiative, action. I have met so many peers in life who are ‘just here for the paycheck’, and I have seen the future of myself in others if something in my life doesn’t give. I aim to acquire skills to shake things up, in myself, in others, and in the community at large. I want to live life with more passion, and I want to help others to thrive as well.
What do you think about taking responsibility, taking initiative, solving problems, and creating projects?
I’m still hesitant about how much time and effort these will take. I am incredibly busy, and also incredibly burnt out from doing what I think I ought to be doing, rather than doing what I’m truly inspired to do. If it could be entirely possible to do so without any other constraints, that sounds lovely.
What are your models for how taking initiative and entrepreneurship work?
Models for taking initiative include the corporate ladder, for which one finds what someone else wants and gives at least the appearance of giving it to them. My other model for initiative and entrepreneurship work is sales and recruiting in the field of financial services.
Who are your role models?
My mother is one of my perpetual role models. Despite never having had a glorious career, she is passionate about people. My childhood memories involve going grocery shopping with my mother and half the town knowing her as she goes out and about. With the exception of a few self-centered folks, most people light up when they see, think about, or hear of my mother. Mama Bee and I don’t always see eye to eye, but we recognize each other as individuals and often agree to disagree. Much of our time together in this season of life, is spent eating, chatting, laughing, and debating. Despite my father’s age-old gripe that she never contributed much financially to the home, I consider her to be far more successful than he is, simply based on the fact that she not only contributed greatly to the raising of my two siblings and I, but that she would have more people who would go out of their way for her because she cares for people in a way that she seeks to serve them, sometimes to her detriment.
A few high visibility individuals include Jeff Levitan, who created the All For One charity that I am inspired to work with one day, and Ed Mylett, who is huge in the personal development space. On the contrary, anyone who acts entirely in freedom in alignment with their values is a role model to me. Those with incredible self-discipline are also a role model to me.
What has worked for you so far in creating projects? What hasn’t?
So far, a persistent thought followed by inspired action has helped me create and follow through with projects. Forcing myself to do what I think I should do or must do has been a struggle.
Where do you want to take initiative? To business, your social life, family, yourself?
I would like to take initiative in all areas of my life. In business, to activate those I am leading to also act from initiative and passion. In my social life, to activate people to develop more intentional authentic connections to eradicate loneliness and apathy, to live life with vigor, and to truly feel loved. In my family, to help them find purpose in life and create their own sense of belonging in their respective environments. In myself, to not feel like I need to wait for the feeling of being backed into a corner to decide to ‘shit, or get off the pot’. All this to say that the purpose is to gain street cred with myself, and to trust myself enough to more massively let go of people, places, and things when they don’t align with what I truly am, without regard to any ‘shoulds’ in life.
What is your relevant history of taking initiative, if any? This can be your first memories, other relevant memories, and so on.
When I think of all the times I took major action, they were usually because I felt like I was backed into a corner with nowhere to run. I don’t love being backed into a corner. I prefer freedom and being in flow. And so, when I sense that someone else’s freedom counts on my participation, or that my freedom is quickly dwindling, I’ve taken intense bursts of initiative to push the needle forward.
I am incredibly curious about how to outsmart myself. Other examples of initiative include finding goals large enough to carry the mundane day-to-day. One specific example of this is that when I plan more major outdoors adventures, exercising at least on a weekly basis no longer becomes such a struggle because it enables me to more thoroughly enjoy the outdoors and prevent injury.
What is the value in taking a course like this?
The value in taking a course like this is to strip everything away and stand naked in front of oneself. To stop running away from oneself and to confront everything that one thinks they are, everything that one portrays they are, everything that one fears they are, and everything that one truly is and is not.
Additional Deliverable:
Field of Interest: Minimalism, decluttering, organization
1. People closer to field of interest: Heather Hinton, Joshua Fields Millburn, Ryan Nicodemus
2. People with high status or value in field: Marie Kondo, Dawn the Minimal Mom, Gabe Bult
3. Relevant role models: TK Coleman, Joshua Becker, Cass from Clutterbug
Field of Interest: Relationships, self-awareness, loneliness
1. People closer to field of interest: Shanin Engman, Jenn Asidao-Querubin, Conrad Ruiz!
2. People with high status or value in field: Simon Sinek, Tom/Lisa Bilyeu, Ed Mylett
3. Relevant role models: Steven Bartlett, Joe Dispenza, Gabor Mate
Reflections:
1. Was it easy to think of your relevant experiences, goals, and role models?
It was relatively easy to think of my relevant experiences and goals, but perhaps not so much my role models. That section was written and edited more times than the others.
2. Have you thought of someone to share your reflections with?
There are a few friends I’ve had conversations with about not feeling connected with our traditional corporate careers. These are the folks I’m keen to share with. Others include those who support people development in their teams. I guess in general I’m okay sharing my participation in day to day conversation, though I am relatively reserved in that I tell folks that many things are TBD.
3. What’s the point of naming people, not positions?
This requires us to think a little bit deeper and more concretely. Perhaps gives us a place to start in evaluating the degree to which individuals actually participate in the field of interest.