Reply To: Exercise 5: 5 People Who Feel the Problem
Exercise 5!
I found this exercise to be very very informative and helpful. I connected with nine people who I believed feel the problem I’m working on. The conversations were pretty easy and quite enjoyable. I felt like the people I talked to enjoyed them and benefited like I did. It felt good to talk with them and give them the opportunity to open up if they chose.
Here is the problem I would share with each person (I only mentioned the solution after hearing their thoughts on the problem):
Problem: Vegans and vegetarians feel tense and unequipped when discussing animal welfare with people who eat animal products.
Solution: Create an experiential learning group for vegans and vegetarians (open to serving others as well) who meet regularly to discuss effective communication skills, explore biases and blindspots, practice conversations, and increase our knowledge of relevant topics together.
Then, I’d ask them for their thoughts. Did they agree or disagree? Did they have additional thoughts? Were there different or additional emotions they felt?
For the purpose of the exercise, we were tasked with recording five quotes from five people who feel the problem. As I said, I spoke with nine people and each one gave me way more than one quote. Everything they shared was valuable, but below are five of the most clear quotes that I feel illustrate the problem I’m hoping to solve.
1. “Yes. Amen to that. I completely feel the exact same way. I feel like half of the time, people aren’t listening to me. I’m not being heard because people don’t want to hear the truth. I feel disrespected or like people don’t care. When I talk to people and get through to them, I feel very positive and powerful.”
2. “We tend to retract a little bit; we don’t feel heard, we feel like people don’t care about what we’re saying.”
3. “Most of us feel like we are not really being listened to. Most of us have experienced the difficulties and its not pleasant. It’s a problem so many people have and a solution would be very helpful and appreciated.”
4. “Not so sure I feel it’s a problem for me that I feel that but the problem is that I feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to turn someone off about veganism. I do sometimes feel uncomfortable, because I see it as a missed opportunity to make an impact.”
5. “There’s this feeling that caring about this is shameful… I know that when I’m uncomfortable talking about animals, I’m less uncomfortable than a dairy cow.”
A major connection between almost all of the conversations I had was a feeling of not being heard. People shared with me that they felt that they enter the conversation already at a disadvantage. They feel as though the average person will already have negative ideas about them, and won’t respect or listen to them. Several people also explained that the negative emotions they feel during these conversations are more associated with an anxiety around missing out on impact (as seen in #4). They said that they don’t care so much about how they feel, but they put pressure on themselves to effectively persuade someone to reconsider their relationship with animals. This anxiety about the outcome seems to be common amongst activists of any cause, including me. If we can detach ourselves from the outcome, it makes the conversations less stressful, more enjoyable, and very likely more effective.
I am especially interested in thinking more about the common theme of not being heard. As more and more people mentioned feeling this way, I started to think about the people on the other side of the conversation. So often it seems that arguments occur because of misunderstanding, rather than genuine disagreement. People on both sides may incorrectly feel that the other person is not listening or interested. What if we could let our guards down and be open and honest with one another? What if we entered all of our conversations with an open heart and open mind, allowing the individual to tell us how they feel and who they are, instead of assuming we know based off past experiences or stories we’ve heard? What if we all remained more curious and interested in others? Maybe we’d realize that we agree on a whole lot more than we disagree on.
A final common thread among the conversations I had was the importance of being around people who share your values. I’ve seen for myself the truth behind the phrase, “you are the company that you keep” and I believe most research supports this. It’s much easier to exercise and eat healthy when everyone in our house does too. I think the same is true when it comes to acting in alignment with our values. Though not reflected in the quotes above, everyone I spoke with touched on the value and energy they get from being around other animal advocates. Many of them even pointed out the conversation we were having was refreshing and beneficial for their own well-being. They were certainly beneficial for mine, and very motivating! One of my early project ideas was a social group for advocates to simply enjoy each other’s company without the pressure of taking action or even talking about animal welfare. So, as you’ll see later, I’d like to combine my current solution with that past idea.
Through this exercise I’ve realized how true principle 6 — the problem leads to the solution — is. Defining the problem as accurately as possible can totally change the way its solved. I’m having a tough time deciding how to move forward. Not only do I need to tweak this problem and solution to better serve the people and animals I want to serve, I’m also considering a shift in focus altogether.
Because I’m trying to get ahead of schedule for my vacation starting next Friday, I’ve also had six chats with people working in and around my field of interest (for Exercise 6). I spoke with one of the co-founders of Hive, as well as one their employees, a full-time activist, and several social workers with experience organizing community groups. My calls with Sofia and Kevin from Hive were especially thought-provoking because they work full-time in roles pretty similar to what my project would be doing. With years of experience in the movement, attending other events, and learning from others, they helped me think about how I really want to help animals, and how I could potentially have a much greater impact. I’ll save more reflections on this for my next post, but ultimately, I’m considering shifting my focus to fundraising specifically for animal welfare/advocacy. I’m not ready to do this just yet because I think I have good momentum with my current project and I want to try and make it happen. I’m definitely going to be thinking about this possible switch, though.
With allllll of that said, here is my new problem and solution based on conversations from Exercise 5:
Problem: People who care about the welfare of farmed animals (farmed animal advocates) feel anxious about having conversations with people who eat animal products.
Solution: Create an in-person social group for farmed animal advocates where they can feel supported and heard. The initial part of the meetings (first 30 minutes) will be for casual socializing and include food and drinks (ideally provided from different members for an additional opportunity to connect). The second part of the meetings (1 hour) will be for sharing experiences, advice, feedback, and troubleshooting through practice and learning opportunities.
The exact structure, timing, and other logistics of the solution are still to be determined. I’m very happy with the way that this is going and excited to get more advice on my updated project. I’m also excited by the prospect of switching my focus to something more aligned with my goals and passions, if that ends up being the case!