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by Evelyn Wallace
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Evelyn Wallace
Participant

Second Personal Essay (The Second Draft)

Author’s note on the first draft of the second personal essay: I was having a real existential moment of truth when I wrote my last personal essay. I was concerned that maybe I was making the same mistake I had made in my first round of Method Initiative, where I was sure I knew the problem, market feedback be dang’d! Was I doing that patronizing thing where I was coming into a group of people whose problem I was sure I knew with a solution I was sure would work? If not, would I have to start over at the beginning again?
So that was my headspace when I wrote the essay and when I met my Method Initiative colleagues for the following meeting. I can’t remember if it was Josh or Olivia who asked something of me specifically, but I begrudgingly came off mute. And when I started talking, both Josh and Olivia assured me in their own ways that this was a space where I could bring all my week’s experiences with, not just the cupcake and rainbow experiences. Josh encouraged me to just trust the next step, and to take the next step with the awareness that it would provide whatever learning experience was there to be had. With a renewed sense of validity, I got back to work.

***

I wouldn’t be surprised if my massage therapist suspects that I’m manic. We had a session a few days ago and when he asked me how I was doing, I said:

“I’m great! The sky’s the limit, Ben! Things are happening! I just got off the phone with Powder River Correctional Facility, and…”

“Wait, who did you just get off the phone with?”

“Yeah, it’s the prison I’ve been wanting to work with. And guess what?! Okay I’ll tell you! They are super into this program idea! I mean, the lady was pretty straightforward about all the folks who would have to approve it, but just as far as energy goes, she was clearly very much into it and has offered to help advocate for it.”

What I didn’t tell Ben—because it was time to get on the massage table for cryin’ out loud—was that directly prior to my call with PRCF, I’d spoken with the executive director of Human Kindness Foundation, who called me (in what felt like) out of nowhere with an introduction that included “I got a message that Mickey Singer had sent you, and of course I’m going to call anyone who Mickey sends back.” Please note, I had reached out to Michael Singer because I’d just finished reading The Surrender Experiment and knew that Mr. Singer had done some work in prisons a few years back. When I contacted him, his team got back to me to say that Michael had reviewed my message and—while it had been too long since he himself had done that kind of work to be able to give any meaningful feedaback—his team did suggest I reach out to a few folks doing the work more currently, including the Human Kindness Foundation.

And when the Executive Director called me (“out of nowhere” but definitely not out of nowhere) and gave me boatloads of actionable advice, her response to my request for more contacts was curt and offered with love: “I’m not connecting you with anyone, Evelyn, until you pick up that phone and call the facility! I guess we know now why I called you today!” She made me promise to text her when I’d done it. Things were happening!

That’s to say nothing of the call I received in the rosy early-morning hours a few Saturdays ago, when Shaka Senghor was the voice on the other line! If you don’t know about his advocacy work or his own story, look him up. I had to work hard on that call not to be star-struck, but I knew I wasn’t coming from zero. This wasn’t my first rodeo.

Yesterday I finished the first draft of the project summary that I sent off to my new contact at PRCF, and here is how it opens // and closes:

Survival Skool
Cook, share, eat, repeat

A program prototype by S. Evelyn Wallace, MSW
Presented to Powder River Correctional Facility
//
Thank you for your consideration
Please contact Evelyn Wallace at poetryishome@gmail.com with questions

So I’m going to close this personal essay with: look what I can do! Look at what we all can do, if we’re only willing to be vulnerable enough to learn how. Thanks to the whole cohort, and to all the folks who took my calls, and to Josh for showing us the way. The sky’s the limit!

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