Reply To: Exercise 2: Three Raisins
Three pieces of banana
I really enjoyed this exercise. I spent about 10-15 minutes focusing on my fruit each time. Josh said that it took him over 30 minutes. I felt like I explored as much as I possibly could but I guess there’s always more. I found myself chuckling both times. On one hand I was laughing at how silly it seemed to be examining a piece of a date/banana, and on the other, it was the type of laughter that comes from feeling really content and happy. I’m not sure if anyone can relate to what I’m describing.
I chose to do the exercise a second time because when I did it Sunday, I was in a bit of wonky headspace. I felt like I couldn’t give my full attention to the date pieces and like there was more I could get from the exercise. I used a banana tonight because I did it at the office after work and there were bananas available. In addition to examining three pieces of the banana, I spent some time inspecting the entire banana with the peel still on. I noticed that different parts smelled differently — the stem was super woody smelling, the skin was fruity, and the bottom was sort of nondescript. I reveled in the fascination I felt with the bruising of the peel and wondered how and why that happens (not so much the chemistry behind it, but more about the bigger picture). My fascination carried on when I peeled the banana and broke it into three chunks (admittedly larger than raisins). I saw little black/brown beads in the center of some of a couple of the chunks and I had fun breaking them down into smaller pieces, looking at how they change each time.
When I did it on Sunday with the date, I noticed a smell I had never noticed from a date before. It was almost a meaty smell, like dog food! This was really interesting because dates are like nature’s candy and I’ve never thought of them as anything other than super sweet. At the same time, or perhaps after smelling this new scent, I noticed the pieces looked a little meaty, too. It was quite strange!
What is the value of seeing your son’s or other loved one’s expressions?
I feel like seeing the expressions of people I love is invaluable. The value of truly seeing what they are feeling cannot be measured. This question evoked images of my best friends and family smiling, laughing, and being silly. Now I’m smiling thinking about the joy on their faces. On the other side of that is seeing when loved one’s are frustrated or sad. Detecting those emotions are equally valuable because it means I can adjust my own attitude, words, and actions to potentially help them or simply show them I care.
Who notices if you miss them?
I guess I wouldn’t notice because I’m the one missing them. But maybe I’d notice at a later date, perhaps much too late to be relevant. The loved one who is making the expression certainly notices if I miss them. Maybe others in the room notice if I miss the expressions on someone else, too.
What about the nuances of your boss’s communications?
Missing these could be the difference between a great, healthy working relationship and a miserable one. That might be extreme but I’m sure it could be true.
What can you do if you sense them?
Picking up on subtleties in others’ communications is really valuable because it allows you to connect with them on a deep level. I think it opens the door for both people to be more vulnerable about whatever they may be unconsciously communicating with their tone or other nuances. If I could pick up on those more effectively, I could try to relate to my boss and feel empathy towards their perspectives or situation.
What did you observe about your senses and attention?
I observed that I liked dialing into my senses and attention. I can be more curious and have more acute sensations if I just set aside a little bit of time and focus. For example, when I chose to send my attention to the smell, I could smell more specific scents. The date and banana each had unique smells that went beyond my previous knowledge of.
What did you observe about your ability to focus?
My ability to focus is okay. I would love to be able to focus more strongly. My mind wandered throughout the 10-15 minutes I spent doing the exercise. The main thing that stole my attention was thinking about this reflection; what would I write, how would I write it, when would I have time to write it? But I could always bring it back to the fruit.
Where and how might you apply your experience in the rest of your life?
I think I’d like to bring this to the way I eat all my meals. More curiosity is always a good thing; it always brings more joy and excitement to life. There’s never-ending possibility to learn more. Though it’s easy to say, I’d like to apply this to all parts of my life. I’ve been incorporating mindfulness into my meals for a while now. I like to think about where my food came from and all the people who helped get it to me. I also like to express gratitude for being in the moment and for all the people who got me to it. So, to start, I will bring more awareness to my meals by taking smaller bites and chewing each one completely before the next. In general, I’ll try to be more aware of myself and others throughout each day. In time, I may think of a more structured way of doing this.