Reply To: Exercise 2: Three Raisins
Craisin Experience
Leadership Step by Step
The value of seeing a loved one’s expression is that it serves as a signal that something is going on inside of that person. I don’t see the experience of the raisin and the expression of a loved one as totally analogous in that the experience of the raisin doesn’t require interpretation but understanding a loved one’s expression does. However, before the interpretation is the noticing. This is where I see the connection between the two experiences. Noticing opens the door to further exploration of meaning. If a loved one has an expression that I miss, they might feel unseen or unimportant.
I’m not sure about the question regarding the nuances of a boss’s communication as different than the nuances of any communication (I don’t have a boss at this point in my life). What I think this question is pointing to is that there is a lot to see in another’s communication if one pays attention to the details with curiosity, interest, and openness. One might see a small difference in how a person is speaking, the tone of their voice, the volume, or what is happening with their eyes or mouth. They may evoke in us an emotional response, or a question as to what they mean. Once we notice, we can make choices about how to proceed. Is now the time to ask for clarification? Should I back off and approach this later? Might I comment on just the fact of what I see? Being aware FIRST of what I am noticing gives me the opportunity to respond consciously as opposed to unconsciously. I can process a response vs. reactively responding.
I noticed that looking at the craisin with curiosity encouraged me to look with new eyes. I found it pretty easy to pay attention and had a few chuckles with the squishy-ness or how it landed on the plate. The most powerful sensation, though, was the taste when I bit into it. The sweetness really was like an explosion in my mouth, and it lingered and changed over time. As I swept some bits off my teeth with my tongue, the sweetness rose again. I was still tasting it a minute after I had swallowed the last bit.
I realize with this simple exercise that experiences that I have had repeatedly throughout my life can be full of surprises when I slow down and pay full attention to them. It reinforced something that I have been focused on of late; slowing down. Paying that kind of attention requires not being in a hurry, being poised to have something revealed that has been right there, hiding in plain sight.