Reply To: Exercise 6: Unwanted Beliefs
Leadership Step by Step Exercise 6:
Beliefs:
Curiosity about my perspectives indicates that someone cares about me.
Being asked questions and follow up questions to observations I make and opinions I have means that others care enough about me to be curious about my perspectives.
Missing my commitments to myself feels bad. Being self-employed gives me more time freedom and requires more discipline.
I feel confident. Preparing for client meetings is a respect to both of our time.
Making a mistake on client paperwork discredits me.
Owning up to a mistake gives me credibility with my client.
Beating myself up does not help me move forward.
Home projects take me a long time.
Asking for help is hard.
Receiving help is also challenging.
I need help with my home projects.
Information is abundant, not always relevant nor useful.
Experience can help filter information.
My mom is afraid of being a burden.
My mom is clinging to her identity of being the helpful one in the family and constantly trying to give to me and others.
Fingerprinting for licensing is easier than I perceived it to be.
Procrastination sucks up bandwidth.
Crossing off long-standing to-dos feels so good.
Conquering procrastination is conquering oneself.
Helping clients to understand their finances who are not in a position to take action is valuable to promoting financial literacy.
Unpaid work is not the most efficient use of my time but is worthwhile.
Connecting with traditional advisors gives me a basis to compare and contrast our offerings to clients but is not the best use of my times since we are in direct competition for clients.
Platonic relationships between men and women are possible.
Developing friendships and connections across life stages and backgrounds is possible and requires respect for boundaries and curiosity.
Clear boundaries between men and women make relationships easy to navigate.
Reflection:
How did this exercise compare with writing your beliefs? – I found them to be very similar. There were a mix of beliefs – tied to how I experienced an unwanted emotion as well as tied to how I desire to navigate the world. Consistent with my beliefs.
Were you able to separate your beliefs from the emotions they evoked? Sometimes.
How did you feel while thinking about the beliefs and emotions? Very conflicted. For every belief I could see myself having the counter-belief. Thinking about the unwanted emotions, I found myself very keen on finding ways to find beliefs that could help me to not experience the undesired emotions.
How did that feeling change over the course of the exercise, if it did? – I feel neutral towards my feelings now that my beliefs are on paper and have some structure to my reflections.
Did awareness of the belief make the emotions stronger? Weaker? Different? – I think awareness of the belief helped to address and weaken my undesired emotions. A sort of reckoning, and a transition to observation from judgement.
Where and how might you apply your experience in the rest of your life? – I think self-awareness and curiosity are both components that are applicable in every other area of life. It’s meditative to document beliefs and revisit them. It gives more clarity on the internal narrative and allows one to evaluate if it’s consistent with who they want to be. Feels like someone gains more agency and empowerment through this process.