—Systemic change begins with personal change—
Chase Amante founded and runs GirlsChase.com, the most popular men's dating advice website. It's held this title for over 5 years.
From the site:
Girls Chase focuses on practical tactics, explained in-depth with examples to make these easy to use. Part of it is the focus on female psychology. If its readers want to do better at the "what", it helps to understand the "why". And a third part of it is an engaging, personal writing style that makes readers come back again and again.
Girls Chase delivers men intuitive, straightforward dating tools. These let them lead whatever romantic lives they wish to lead. If a man wants to find his dream girl and settle down, he can do that with Girls Chase. If he prefers to play the field a while, he can do that too. Or if he just wants to understand people better and improve socially, Girls Chase is here to help. This flexibility is a key part of the website's success.
Despite the public nature of the site, he keeps private.
Chase's journey began in 1994, when an 11-year-old Chase tried a social experiment. For a few days, he altered how he dressed and how he interacted with people. He wanted to see if these changes would make his classmates treat him any differently. They did. In just a few days, he went from "school nerd" to someone everybody wanted to talk to. It changed how he thought about people.
Adolescence plunged Chase into a social phobia he struggled to claw out of. He used humor and stories to attract people to himself. The cool kids all invited him to parties. And the pretty, popular girls all asked him out. But he so feared them finding out he wasn't as cool as he seemed and rejecting him that he told them all "no".
Chase did not get serious about fixing his social problems until not long before his 22nd birthday. Alone and out of ideas, he decided to try something different. He'd learned sales, writing, and basketball through methodical practice, he reasoned. Why couldn't he learn how to talk to girls this way, too? With that, he launched a new life mission: talk to girls to get better at talking to girls.
A year in, Chase discovered a community of men doing the same thing as him, and immediately signed up for coaching in New York City. His key mentor was Sebastian Drake, founder of the "natural game" branch of seduction. Under Sebastian's tutelage, Chase's results ascended. Soon he was sleeping with women he met in nightclubs, on trains, at parties, and on the streets of Washington, DC. And he began to take beautiful, charismatic girlfriends, to boot.
Within a few years, Chase had become one of the most prominent posters on the pickup artist community's mASF forum... Rated the #7 most valuable poster out of some 100,000 forum members, including nearly all of pickup's greatest names. He began to get requests for training from other students. And many suggested he start a blog.
In 2008, in San Diego, California, he launched GirlsChase.com.
Today Chase splits his time between the United States, Eastern Europe, and East Asia. His mission of improvement with women finished, he now has a new one: create a system of success with women so simple, so practical, and so fundamental, it will be the go-to system for men down through the ages.
In this part of the conversation, Chase and I spoke about the environment. He's very thoughtful about it, though hasn't acted on it, for reasons he eloquently explains. I take the liberty of persisting politely, so if you haven't acted or want to influence others, you'll hear a lot of resistance that many feel but rarely express. If you're interested in developing your environmental leadership skills, this episode will show you a major problem you'll face: people hearing what they want or expect to hear more than what you say.
Chase runs GirlsChase, one of the most trafficked sites for dating coaching, which recently celebrated 10 years in business. It sets itself apart from its peers, besides its longevity with basic material, not gimmicks, for men to improve their lives, still getting about 40% traffic from women. The episode is long because Chase shared in depth what I consider valuable for someone wanting to lead in the area of the environment -- an area people want to act in but most put off. He had to marshal his passion for most of those 10 years, developing community, listening, and motivating himself You'll hear the reward, in how he changes his customers' lives. First we talk about the dating education world, often misunderstood.
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