—Systemic change begins with personal change—
Brad P. is the pseudonym of a longtime friend, coach, colleague, and boss. From 2005 to 2013, he was one of the most highly reviewed dating and attraction coaches---some would say pick-up artist or guru. He has since moved on and keeps his identity confidential.
From his site:
Brad P. began teaching an informal dating seminar in the top floor of a pizza place in February, 2005. Students could expect a free 1 hour session followed by an additional 2 hour session for $40 along with free pizza and beer. With no advertising or website, the seminar slowly grew from only a handful of students to 40+ students per meeting. In late 2006, the seminars were inundated by students from “the seduction community†who had read Neil Strauss's The Game which was released around this same time. This was a new type of student, and they were mostly focused on one night stands. Brad P. temporarily discontinued the seminar to create new material geared towards fast seduction and reduced the emphasis on dating and relationships.
Brad's mission was to learn new material and techniques from the best naturals in the world, improve it and simplify it, then create an educational format where men with very low social skills could benefit from applying it. This new material was embraced by the community, and Brad P. was named the #1 coach in the world on all 3 major polls in 2008.
Brad P. never wanted to be a public figure and preferred to dedicate himself to the art of coaching and the discipline of field time. He passed on having a VH1 TV show in 2007, passed on 20+ cable news interviews, and passed on 3 movie offers. His real name has never been released although there have been rumors and speculation on his true identity.
Read more at his site.
Brad identified the problem of people acting or not as our emotions and behavior, which many forces contribute to. We also talk about media and scientists. This refinement of the understanding to emotions points to what to work on that I see few environmentalists unaddressing: emotions, feelings, and community, not technology, innovation. Almost the only emotions they evoke are fear, panic, and worry, which don't motivate acting on the environment. They motivate disengaging from the speaker. If you associated attraction coaching with trickery or games, you might not expect this identification. On the contrary, Brad knows about relationships, people, and teaching. These things happen to lead to more intimacy---physical, emotional, and intellectual---and they are big elements of leadership. We talk about vegetables, CSAs, helping people in need from the opioid crisis, habit change, and long-term cooking habits with long-term girlfriends. On a personal note, I've found it very relieving to share this part of my life that I've kept confidential so long. In retrospect it's more like sports and acting than I thought. As I've mentioned, I haven't shared this part out of fear of people with preconceived notions but powerful voices misunderstanding and attacking. Maybe later someone will push back in a way I feared, which would be from a misunderstanding. So far I think people understand. Listeners who contact me tell me they find the podcast inspirational. I love when they tell me the passions they've unearthed. Yet many tell me they haven't changed their behavior. I hope Brad's experience shows you that whatever effort you put in, you'll find it worth it. If you aren't acting on listening, you're missing out. When you act, you'll not only pollute less, you'll love life more.
Today's episode with guest Brad P, a dating coach and guru---well, former, since he's moved on, as he'll share---partly reveal a major part of my social and emotional development as an adult. He was in a sense my boss when I coached mostly men but a few women on dating and attraction skills, which I did before coaching executives, entrepreneurs, and so on on leadership, initiative, entrepreneurship, and more mainstream things. The episode begins with a long introduction to address the extraordinary misconception about coaching dating and attraction, especially for men. While I haven't kept it formally secret, I haven't shared it publicly, though I tell all my coaching clients soon after starting working with them since it opens up the coaching relationship and makes for faster and deeper improvement. I've also shared with my family. Now I'm sharing it publicly, that I taught and coached people on skills in attraction and dating. I was the #1 coach in the #1 market for the #1 guru. My corporate leadership practice is so based in openness and facing and handling vulnerability that I had to share. Not sharing it was keeping me back. Nearly everyone I've shared it with is intrigued and supportive, but the media covers people who like to create controversy, so I've feared attacks, however unsupported. Well, I can't live in fear of people with misunderstandings. Rather, I choose to face the fear and handle the consequences, knowing that the more anyone knows about me and this part of me, the more I believe they'll support me and my choices. I consider this work some of the most helpful to my clients, community, and world. The episode is long but covers a lot about relationships, education, personal growth, attraction, overcoming fear, and more. It may be my most personal and vulnerable episode yet.