Reply To: Exercise 10: No, But, However
Leadership Step by Step Exercise 10: No, But, However
Reflections:
I think I caught about 20% of my no, but, and however responses. I think ‘but’ and ‘however’ were very easy to avoid, and ‘no’ was the hardest for me. I especially noticed this around texting. I often say ‘no worries’ or ‘no problem’. I didn’t realize that this would count for the exercise, too. I did not notice any changes in others’ reactions, but I imagine the different responses feel affirming, especially if I’m removing negating verbiage. Instead of ‘no worries’ I can begin with ‘all good’ or ‘it’s all good’. And in response to requests, instead of ‘no problem’, I can start with ‘yes, absolutely’. I don’t think others noticed a difference, but perhaps it’s more of a subtle shift that will compound with time.
This makes me think of sales psychology about avoiding questions that will result in answers being ‘no’ and instead of using questions that will result in responses beginning with ‘yes’ to factor in the subconscious connotations that we have with the words ‘no’ and ‘yes’. Affirming and negating statements seem to be two sides of the same coin, and leading with affirming phrases can lead to more agreeable interactions overall.
I’ve done a similar exercise where I try to avoid the usage of the word ‘but’ as a connecter and instead, use the word ‘and’ since it can virtually achieve similar outcomes. This is what that exercise makes me think of – a subtle shift in achieving the same goal of clear and effective communication.