Reply To: Exercise 10: No, But, However
No, But, However
What fraction of your no, but, and however responses do you think you caught?
I think I caught a small fraction of them, but I don’t know what that might be. I found that I was more aware of the “energy” of “but” or “no” and was unsure whether I had said the words or not.
Did you notice changes in others’ reactions?
It was in reactions that I ended up asking myself if I had used the word. A friend was giving me information and a recommendation for a house sharing site that I felt unlikely to use. When he started speaking with more emphasis and arguing strongly for my considering it, I asked myself if I had said “no” or “but” and I didn’t know if I had or not, but he acted like what I imagined he would IF I had used those words.
How do you imagine the different responses feel?
I’m not sure I understand this question, but I think in the example above, once I realized he was feeling the need to vigorously suggest the site, I took a curious point of view and his energy changed.
How else could you begin your responses?
“What if…”
“I was thinking…..”
“I wonder…..”
“What do you think about….”
“Sometimes it might be…..”
Do you think others noticed a difference?
I don’t think I was aware of doing it often enough to answer that. In the example above, his energy did change when I consciously changed my “posture” of “but”.