Reply To: Exercise 14: The Model
The Model
This week was rather interesting for me. I have almost no conscious experience of using models. I’m aware that I use some type of models for making sense of the world, but I had never thought about it much before. I’ve definitely never written anything down to understand my models. It seemed like a lot of the information was complementary to exercise 8 & 9 when we changed our beliefs. I’m very interested to see how using The Model makes that process more/less effective. I see how useful it is to understand that everyone has different models and I really liked the model of “everyone does their best based on their view of the world and their ability.” I think I’ve followed a similar model for a while now; always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially when someone is upset with someone else. I think it’s useful to have a clear model for this. Sort of like how Eugene’s advice to “listen, don’t wait to talk” has given me something to latch onto and re-center myself in conversations, I think having a model helps in a similar way. I guess “listen don’t wait to talk” is a model itself?
I found the part about perceptions of a car to be helpful and very relevant to me now. I remembered that I used to view a car much more as a source of freedom and a status symbol than a polluter. Now, it’s flipped. To me, cars are polluters first, freedom/status symbol second. And despite my change in values, I still see cars, at least to some degree, as a source of freedom and status symbol. I also used to see them as sources of pollution but not prominently, or maybe I just felt like there was no avoiding it.
I think it’s going to take some re-reading of my notes and practice with The Model to wrap my head around it all. I think I’m facing an inner conflict with this: I absolutely recognize the value of understanding the human emotional system and I want to, but I also feel like this makes it less natural and real. I’m sure I’m not the first person to have said something like this. Despite this feeling, I’m open to exploring it and seeing how it goes. I guess I’m worried that by creating models and systems to help me understand and lead others more effectively will be at the cost of experiencing the world more humanly. This could very well just be a cop-out/resistance to doing more work. We shall see!
Here are my two situations
I want to spend less time on screens (phone, TV, laptop)
• Environment:At home in my living room and bedroom, every day.
• Belief: Watching movies, TV shows, videos, etc. is fun, helps me relax, and I learn from them.
• Emotion: Relaxed and some pleasure, but also boredom, frustration, disappointment, complacency and shame
• Behavior: Spending time on screens instead of spending time with family, reading, getting more sleep, exercising, or other activities that would make me happier
I want to meditate every day
• Environment: In my room, every morning.
• Belief: I don’t need to meditate, and even though it brings me benefits, I have other more important things to do.
• Emotion: Avoidance, self-deceit (not sure if those are emotions), arrogant, embarrassment.
• Behavior: Sometimes I meditate, most time I avoid it and do something else instead (like spend time on screens!).
How did The Model compare with my models for emotions and leadership?
Before last week, I had never spent any time consciously thinking about my models for things, so I don’t have anything to compare it to.
What other models do I use for people, emotions, and motivations?
Like I said above, I haven’t consciously used models before. However, I can try to think of examples now. With people, I guess I try to follow a model that says everyone is inherently a good person; I do my best to give people the benefit of doubt.
For emotions, I’m not sure; I suppose I intellectually recognize emotions as useful, important, and things that make us who we are. But I also think I’ve spent a lot of time viewing most emotions as something to avoid, because we have to use logic and evidence to make decisions. Recently, I’ve been really feeling a lack of emotional expression.
In my last post I referenced David Goggins who says that “motivation is crap.” I think that’s been somewhat of a model for me. I experience it often myself; I feel motivated relatively frequently but rarely act on it. I also use the phrase “mood follows action” to motivate myself when I have little. So, I think my models for motivation rest on the need for something else to complete the motivation. This is what I believe The Model does.
How would I change The Model for my use?
I’m not sure I can say yet. With limited experience thinking about/using models, I don’t know how it might serve me better. I’ll use it some and see if I come up with anything.
What happens when I break down situations in my life into environments, beliefs, emotions, and behavior?
It definitely puts things in perspective. It simplifies the situations and lays it all out very plainly. Like all types of writing for me, I think just the act of getting it out of my head helps me do something about it. Breaking it down specifically into the 4 parts makes it so I can think about each of them on their own. The next exercise is to work with our situations and I already have ideas of how to achieve the outcome I want by tinkering with each piece. And even though breaking it down like this separates them, it also helps show how they come together. I got a deeper insight into my emotions and beliefs that are driving the behavior within certain environments.
So far, for me, I think The Model does exactly what is was created to do: simplify things and be useful.
What is the difference between pleasure, happiness, and emotional reward?
This was an interesting part of the video and I agree with how Josh described these emotions. Though each are distinct, I think of these three emotions as being on a sort of spectrum. Pleasurable is at one end; it’s easiest to achieve, most fleeting, least meaningful, and may come from genuine, healthy experiences or in-genuine, unhealthy ones (like eating cookies for dinner). Happiness is in the middle; it is more complex than pleasure, longer lasting, more meaningful, and almost always comes from genuine, healthy experiences. Reward is at the other end; it is typically hardest to achieve, but also most meaningful, longest-lasting, and (I think) always comes from genuine, healthy (healthy probably isn’t the best word, because it’s so subjective… but I guess for something to feel rewarding, I would bet that it has to feel healthy for the individual) experiences.
Where and how might I apply The Model or my version of it in the rest of my life?
For now, I’ll see how it helps me over the next week and decide how I might change it or create something new to help me more.