Exercise 1: Personal Essay

[Joshua]

Please post your personal leadership essay.

[Evelyn Wallace]

Evelyn Wallace: It’s Go Time

If you’ve ever read Michael Singer’s <The Surrender Experiment>, you might recall that the end of his early-days, isolationist, anti-corporal meditation practice was marked by a dream about walking into a cave and not being able to breathe. He understood the message: this ain’t the way. In mid 2021, I got a similar memo from life. I’d staged a nonviolent protest, was arrested, was released, was interviewed for a front page story in the local paper, and still felt as lonely and helpless as before. I didn’t feel as if I’d mis-stepped, but I did feel like I’d walked into my own cave as far as I could only to find I couldn’t breathe in there.

Since 2016, when the death of a friend woke me right up, my aim in life was to live in truth as best I could with every breath I was blessed to have left. I stayed connected to that mission for the first few years nand I experienced some profound shifts and lessons as I went. (I wrote a book about that era and in an effort to make it as accessible as possible I recorded the audio and released it as a podcast. I only just found out I should attach an ISBN to the project to make it official, an action item I’ve already put in my in-tray.)

Still, by the late Covid years, I felt like I’d strayed from my purpose. I knew I wasn’t reaching my own potential. I felt like an electrical wire with no proper outlet, which felt like such a silly problem to have, because who wouldn’t want a ready supply of free power?

Perhaps this is in defensiveness, but I feel compelled to add that it’s not that I didn’t know things back then. I knew lots of things.

I knew the nature of the universe and infinity (as shown to me through my dying friend)… but I didn’t know how to be the kind of teammate people wanted on their teams. I knew how to break out of cultural norms and ignore a deafening chorus of consensus-thinking worriers… but I didn’t know how to get people to take my calls. I knew how to stage a nonviolent revolution… but I didn’t know how to invite others to join. If I’m being fully honest, there was a pattern in my life of storming out of groups, with some variation of this thought: if only those guys could see what amazing ideas I’m bringing to the table! But they can’t, so their loss. Bye, forever! (And then later: Boo hoo, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I just make people love me?)

Enter: graduate school and specifically, social work. As soon as I found out social work as a professional sector employed the term “social justice” in their mission, that was enough of a green light for me. If there’s any place that can’t kick me out, I thought, it’s a classroom of a school that said yes. I didn’t expect social work to teach me all the content I wanted to know (I did, after all, have some memory of the foolishness of academia, even in the two decades that had passed since earning my bachelor’s), but at least school would put me in rooms with other people. On a spiritual level, I had tapped back into my faith that every place we are is the right place at the right time. My studies would connect me with the people I needed to be connected to, I was sure of it. Plus, I wasn’t averse to having some letters after my name.

It turns out that graduate school did connect me to the people I needed to be connected to, and especially (but not exclusively) Josh Spodek. When Josh and sustainability crashed into my life, I recognized the Sustainability Simplified approach to be the mechanism I had been looking for all along: the proper outlet for my amperage. It was go time.

So, I went! I went with it and I let life lead. Now I’m here, eeking out the final weeks of my final term in graduate school, feeling such an impending sense of relief to be free of this elaborate academic charade so I can give myself fully to the real work: stewardship leadership. Steadership! (Not that I’m rushing things. This is the last moment I’ll have this moment and I relish it. I relish it.) For context, this week marks the penultimate session of the first Sustainability Simplified (SUSI) 101 Workshop I led without Mr. Spodek himself in the room. I had another Joshua on hand, though, and I got better as a leader because of him. I feel like this work—my true calling—is showing me how big I really am and how big I can be, all of which squares with my deathbed experience of infinity. It feels like the sky’s the limit, and even then… why stop?

And now, as of this very moment, I am right back at the door where I first came knocking when I reached out to Josh in the first place: straight leadership. This is what I’m talking about when I talk about divine timing.

What do I want from this experience? Pre-Marshall’s death, I would have wanted everyone to think I was the cleverest person in the room. But now I want people to leave interactions with me feeling like they are the cleverest. I want to connect to universal places of shared humanity in every person I interact with, enabling me to work with people who appear to believe in things I vehemently disagree with, and I want for these people to feel heard, seen, acknowledged, respected. I want to bring people together from (essentially) warring factions in mutual recognition of unifying commonalities. I want to be invited into rooms with heads of state, captains of industry, and culture makers and I want to help them see the very optimistic and very possible future where they rise to their own potential and lead the way in the next phase of human evolution. I want to do what I was born to do and I want this class to teach me how. Is that too much to ask?

Like I said, it’s go time.

[Hayden Kessinger]

It’s go time!

Thanks so much for sharing, Evelyn. Congratulations on your sans-Spodek leading of SUSI and your journey through grad school thus far. I hope to see you get all that you ask in your last paragraph and I’m excited to play at least a small role in making those things happen. Here’s to 20 weeks of leadership.

[Beth]

It’s Go time

I love hearing your account of the path that has led you to this very moment filled with the dedication and desire to use this one, wonderful life as an agent of a new vision of the possible. I look forward to the unfolding.

[Hayden Kessinger]

A longer essay than I expected

I decided to answer each question included in the book so I can have a clear, structured starting point to look back on. You can read my essay on my blog here.

What motivated me to take the course and do the exercises in the book?

Truthfully, I was motivated to join Initiative for reasons I explained in that personal essay, but was not quite as interested in Leadership. When signing up for Initiative, I knew it was a package deal but didn’t think much about the second part. That said, I had a feeling that I would enjoy and benefit from this one, too. Having finished Initiative and experiencing many other great things in that same time, I am very motivated to do the exercises for Leadership. I think my motivation is possible because of the benefits I’ve received from Josh’s other classes and the communities I fell into because of them. I can only imagine these benefits will continue to compound. Josh did mention in the first class that there will be a time where we feel like we’re moving backwards instead of forwards. He said it’ll very likely be really hard at times but the other side is amazing and rewarding in ways I can’t imagine. I was skeptical when I joined Sustainability Simplified in the spring, and even more skeptical when I started Initiative. But now, I’m pretty much on board.

What do I expect to gain from the experience?

Put simply, I expect success. What form that success will take I have no idea. I like to refrain from expecting much from anything. Not because I don’t want to be let down, but because I want to enter new experiences with an open mind. That said, some other things that come to mind are: challenge, fun, growth, community, friendship, clarity on my goals and values, an improved ability to lead myself and others, and awareness and humility necessary to continue improving.

What motivated me to pursue leading in general?

Leading has been part of my life for a while. In many ways I think it just fell into my lap early on and I just believe I was leader from then on. Recently, however, I’ve taken a much more active role in leadership. I recognize that I already have a fair amount of experience leading others and am kinda okay at it. I also recognize how valuable it is to be an effective leader. I see how ineffective many “leaders” are and I hope to avoid being like them. I’ve come to learn that true leadership takes many forms — I think I can even be (and sometimes have been) a leader as a temporary intern with no prior experience in the field. I’m excited learn a lot more and help the world as best I can.

What do I think about leadership?

I think leadership is valuable and needed. I can’t think of any circumstance in which being a good leader and having well-developed leadership skills wouldn’t be helpful. Most people I know speak about how we need better leaders in all fields. And I agree with Josh that we’re desperate for real leaders in the environment. I hope to be one.

What are my models for leadership?

I’m not really sure I have any. Or maybe I don’t understand this question. Coaches, parents, bosses, team captains? I think I immediately think of people with high status and/or high paying jobs who give speeches and influence others. I know leadership is much more nuanced than this, though. I view people with strong listening skills, compassion, initiative, determination, open-mindedness, respect for others, curiosity, and integrity as great leaders. Leaders also need to act in accordance with what they say/believe. I really like Josh’s definition of leadership: helping others do what they want to do but can’t see how.

Who are my role models?

I have many role models. Everyone in my family is a role model for me in at least some capacity. My dad definitely sticks out, though. He’s been a man of few words my whole life. He leads through his actions. Growing up, I witnessed — on many occasions — him talking with people I didn’t recognize in Lowe’s (or some other store) for what felt like forever. At the end of these conversations I’d ask who they were and often he wouldn’t be able to tell me their name. But the person certainly seemed to like him a lot. As I got older I realized he was rarely contributing much to these conversations, he would just listen. I realize now that he was contributing much more by listening. That’s why people like him so much: he listens to them and gives his two cents where they’re needed and nothing more. I don’t remember him ever explicitly telling me to work hard but the message was loud and clear from his actions; always sticking his neck out for others, fixing things around the house, coming to my soccer practices and games, and rarely complaining.

My late grandmother, Nena, was also a great role model for me. She exuded compassion, empathy, love, and service like no one else I’ve ever met. Similar to my dad, she acted more than she spoke and when she did speak it was pure gold. She always put others first, and seemed to always know what everyone needed. I try to live like Nena: constantly looking for ways to help — big or small, but always meaningful.

My sister, Spencer, is another role model of mine. She is huge reason that I’m committed to the environment and animals as much as I am. She always listens to me and gives relevant advice, encouraging me to act on it only if it feels right for me. Spencer is also really good at acknowledging others’ feelings and thoughts for what they are; she rarely lets her own perspectives get in the way of understanding the other person. I feel really lucky to have a great relationship with her.

Lastly, I’ll highlight my highschool soccer coach, Matt Blue. He was a fantastic coach and mentor for me as a young man. Coach Blue died earlier this year, a little more than a year after being diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. I could go on and on about the lessons he taught me in highschool, but I think they can all be summarized by his outlook during his year with cancer. At a fundraiser for his benefit in spring 2023 he gave a short speech. In addition to thanking everyone for being there and supporting in different ways, he shared wisdom that I’ll never forget. He told us to appreciate all parts of life: the joy and excitement, the mundane and boring, and the really shitty parts, too. This isn’t a new philosophy by any means but to hear it coming from a man experiencing these aspects of life so acutely, it became more real. All parts of life, all emotions are valuable — in and of themselves as well as for the way they help us gain perspective. I think because I knew Blue so well before his diagnosis, I could look back and see how he practiced this philosophy his whole life. Like my dad, everyone loved him. He talked a little more and was a goofball, but that didn’t prevent him from leading with integrity and action.

What works for me when I lead? What doesn’t?

Acting on the skills I mentioned above always seems to work very well. Actions really do speak louder than words — I’ve had several people recently recognize the consistency between what I talk about and how I act. They told me they respect me and have felt inspired. But I know to be a more effective leader I need to do more than act in line with my values. Nothing else matters without the corresponding action — others will always do what you do, not what you say — but I think its time I engage more with the people I want to lead. Other things that work: asking questions, connecting to values, connecting people to each other, affirming ideas (and respectfully providing counter ideas), having fun, following up with people, giving space for their interests/passions/motivations to emerge, offering advice when they want it, and giving constructive criticism after telling people what they did well.

Telling people what they should do almost never works. Treating others as if they have the same experiences, values, interests, and perspectives as me is a recipe for disaster. Giving unsolicited advice stinks. Talking more than the other person usually doesn’t help much. Getting angry or irritated is of course useless. Holding myself above others (by using jargon or obscure references or just exuding that sort of energy) feels wrong and makes people shut down. Acting in opposition to things I say or believe is a great way to fail as a leader. Many of these things that don’t work come from a place of ego; entering the conversation or interaction thinking I know what’s best for them instead of with curiosity to work with them to figure out what they want/need.

Where do I want to apply my leadership skills?

Everywhere, I think. My current understanding is that a good leader isn’t necessarily leading everything all the time. They know when to step back and let others take the wheel. So, I think if that’s true, I’d like to apply my leadership skills in all areas of my life: personal and professional. I can get specific, however, and say that I’d like to apply leadership skills to sustainability, conservation, and activism. Josh defines leadership as “helping others do what they want to do but don’t know how” and that’s what I want to be for people and myself. I want to empower myself and others to make meaningful impact in whatever shape that takes for them.

What is my history with leadership — first memories, best and worst memories, and so on?

I feel as though I have a pretty long history of leadership. Despite being quiet and somewhat shy for most of my life, I think I’ve always gravitated toward leadership positions. As I think more about earliest memories of leading others, it seems like it has sort of been a self-fulfilling prophecy (I think I’m using this phrase correctly). I’m not sure I can pick out an early, clear example but I just always remember assuming the leader role in school projects. Then, perhaps after a few instances like that, I accepted that story about myself: I’m the guy who leads the group. And yet, I can think of plenty of times where I was reluctant to do so. I don’t think I was always competing for the spot with others. I see it more like the leader role needed to be filled and since no one else would fill it, I did.

A couple of weeks ago I was working with a group of highschoolers who were volunteering at Five Rivers to install a fence around one of the gardens. One girl was working much harder than the rest and she was leading her classmates rather effectively. Her teacher commented on her leadership and the girl said something like, “I just take charge because no one else will and if that happens, then its just chaos.” That pretty much sums up a lot of my experiences leading. Though I usually enjoy and value leading others, it sometimes felt like an obligation, especially for school projects.

Perhaps I’m not giving myself enough credit. I think I’m a pretty good leader and maybe others see that in me. One standout memory (that is really many memories combined) is being named captain of my first club soccer team. I joined in middle school and only knew two other kids on the team. During our first practice, my new coach put me on defense, my first time ever playing there. I played defense basically the rest of my “career.” At our first game, when the referees asked for captains, my coach sent me and one other teammate. I was confused as hell. Almost everyone else had been playing together for years, just under a different coach. Now all of a sudden I’m a captain? Yep, and I remained a captain for all five years I played club soccer. I was also a captain of my high school team my senior year, and captain of my community college team as a freshman and sophomore. I felt pretty confident leading my high school and college teams, but club was different. I was never super close with most of my teammates, I was probably one of the worst on the team, and I didn’t talk much. Memories of club soccer are riddled with feeling small and like I didn’t belong. My coach and teammates would get frustrated with me for making mistakes, leading me to feel scared to make more, which would of course result in more mistakes. I stuck with it, though, and I improved as a player and captain. Still, I think I left a lot to be desired as a leader. But my coach never took that role from me. It really makes me wonder how different my leadership history would look if I hadn’t been randomly selected as a captain in 8th grade.

I’m realizing a key issue in the way I judge a leader. During club soccer, I felt undeserving of my captaincy because many other players were more talented and athletic than me. Then, when I felt confident as a captain in high school and college, it was largely because I thought I was more talented and athletic than most of my team. Intellectually, I’ve known this to be flawed for many years, but I think I still judge myself and others in this way. It’s silly because if you looked at the top ten soccer teams in the world, you’d find that the most talented player is rarely the captain. The captain is the person who can bring the best out of everyone else. The captain leads through their actions and disposition more than their words or skills.

I have one particularly bad memory of leadership that is very similar to a story Josh often shares to demonstrate where he started as a leader and what people get wrong about being a leader. My second year playing soccer at Chesapeake Community College we stunk. We lost most games by more than four goals. I was a captain and the best player on the team. But I didn’t really know how to lead. I thought I did. I couldn’t handle the fact that we stunk so bad. Worse than that, the team goofed off way too much (in my eyes). It drove me nuts that no one wanted to play as hard as I did. It didn’t take long for me to start yelling at my teammates. Of course, tough love is necessary sometimes, but that’s not what I was providing. I even remember yelling at a teammate, out loud for all to hear, “what are you doing!?” I’d shout, “c’mon!” I’d scream for the ball or bark instructions, thinking that’s what I needed to do. If they could just do what I tell them to do, we’d be better. One game, as we prepared to defend a corner, I was yelling to no one in particular, “c’mon mark-up, what are we doing!?” To which a teammate replied, “don’t just yell at us, tell us what to do.” I’m not sure how I responded but it probably wasn’t a good response and I knew they were right. I haven’t thought about this so deeply before and I’m realizing just how much it must’ve sucked to be my teammate. They were probably afraid of me or hated me or both. Early in the season the athletic director came to watch us practice for a bit. He pulled me aside and complimented me for my passion and said I had great potential and responsibility to be a great leader, but I had to change how I was leading. I knew he was right but I don’t think I adapted my strategies much.

My best memories include more recent ones. Having conversations with people that end with them thanking me is very rewarding. Filling a leadership role in the volunteering I do with The Humane League has been great, too; I get to engage with other volunteers and help them get more involved in the advocacy that they want to do. Yesterday, I gave my staff presentation on food and the environment which was really rewarding. I was working hard and stressing about this for the past two weeks so to have it come together and receive compliments for the way I effectively shared a difficult topic felt incredible. It felt like leadership because I was sharing my knowledge and experiences to provide the audience an opportunity to explore a new way of consuming. I didn’t prescribe any lifestyle changes for them. I engaged with the audience by asking them to think about questions and discuss with the person next to them first rather than telling them the answer straight away. I think I did a good job going into it with humility while maintaining my passion for the subject.

What is the value in doing these exercises?

I think one of the most valuable parts about a course like this is literally doing the exercises. Taking the action, making them a priority = I’m making my growth and well-being a priority. Writing this essay for example has taken a big chunk of my time but the value of it cannot be understated. I’ve learned about myself in the process. I’ve strengthened some of my beliefs about leadership and myself and I’ve let go of others that weren’t serving me.

Doing the exercises means actually practicing the skills that will be used in life. Reading and even taking notes aren’t very practically helpful. It’s great to learn that way, but for something like leadership, intellectual understanding and practical understanding are far from the same thing. I imagine that by doing the exercises I’ll feel myself becoming a better leader in my day-to-day and I’ll start leading others more effectively without thinking.

If you made it through all this, thanks! I hope you enjoyed and/or found it helpful in some way. I’m excited for whats to come 🙂

[Beth]

Hayden’s essay

Hayden, I feel like I know you so much better after reading your essay. You are once again thorough in your responses in a deeply personal an honest way. I love your paragraph about the things you are certain DON’T work as a leader. I would put my exclamation point on each of the things you mentioned. We are at different stages in our lives, but I hear a fair amount of myself in your story. This assignment took a lot of reflection time and every day what I thought and felt changed a bit from the reflection. I feel like I know myself better today than I did a week ago when I started the essay. I think I hear a similar process of discovery for you. I look forward to this part of the journey with you!

[Hayden Kessinger]

Thank you, Beth

I really appreciate your reply. I’m glad we’re on the same page with many things and can relate to each other despite me beginning my career and you having finished yours (formally). I also feel like I know myself better and am excited for the journey, too!

[Beth]

Leadership Step by Step

Personal Essay
October 23, 2024

Feeling invisible comes with the territory of being third of nine children. This may have had something to do with cultivating ambitions to stand out from others and to assume leadership roles early in life. In those roles, I felt seen and experienced myself having something of value to offer the world. I was a person who others came to for support. I remember this as early as ten years old when I was a girl scout and in a youth group at church. If there was organizing to do about cookie sales or church bake sales, I was in the middle of it. Friends with boy problems or family problems would ask for my “advice” or just want to talk about what they were going through. I was often a speaker at church group retreats and in class projects. I don’t remember anything about what I actually said, but I remember feeling supportive and caring about what other people were going through. I also felt I mattered.

I had a strong sense of compassion that I believe others felt from me. What I was less good at was seeing myself with compassion. My mother was a strong woman with a strong personality. While she taught me a tremendous amount and loved me fiercely, in her wake I often felt not good enough and intrinsically “bad”. I believe it was my own struggle with these feelings of doubt that made me compassionate toward others and gave me a unique perspective. It also instilled the drive to feel worthy. These are the underlying experiences that drove me to assume leadership roles in most arenas throughout my life.

In my different roles as a manager, my style was more team focused than authoritarian. I solicited the ideas of others in developing solutions to whatever issue was being addressed. I think most of the people who worked with me in a manager role would say that I was open and respectful of the value of each team member. When I wasn’t in the manager role, but team member role, I was still seen as a leader. I didn’t hesitate to communicate my ideas, at times more energetically than people might have liked. When I taught in nursing school, we taught in teams and had weekly team meetings. At one point I brought socks to give to the team members to give to me when I needed to pipe down. The socks were used on more than one occasion. As an instructor in the hospital, my first question to a student after being in a room with a patient in which they performed some skill was “What did you do well?”. No matter, they always proceeded to tell me what the did wrong. Helping people see the good in themselves while still addressing the shortcomings has been a thread in how I operate in positions of leadership. We have to address what needs to be corrected but let’s do that in the context of recognizing the good, too.

These thoughts are part of the kaleidoscope that colors my mind as I consider what leadership is to me now and why I am interested in this particular class in Method Leadership. I am 71, looking at what leadership is and how I want to further develop leadership “skills”. I feel less inclined to prove anything about who I am or who I am not. I am more inclined to listen to whatever you call that thing inside that guides me toward using this life and breath to love. The guiding light of my life is that love is the foundation of everything we long for. Whatever great things we accomplish, if we don’t love ourselves and express love for life and each other in the process, we will feel disappointed. We are left with a hole that is never filled by achievement or triumph. I think this is how I ended up with the project for the initiative class, Love Merida. It is a project that creates opportunity for connection and community building. Will that change behavior or will changing behavior be the impetus? I don’t know.

This process of looking deeply at what I’m doing here leaves me with some ambivalence because I don’t feel inclined to try to influence others’ behavior as much as I want to connect with them. I like Josh’s definition; leadership is helping others do what they already wanted to do but didn’t know how. The question is, what is it that someone else wants to do and doesn’t know how that I am interested in encouraging with my “leadership”? What I am becoming clearer about as I look more deeply at my own motivation is that I have no interest in trying to “change” people. I do not like being with people who want to change me. And while the definition of leadership we are using doesn’t include changing others, it seems that the focus can drift that way, and that leadership is still measured by how effective we are at shepherding others in the direction of our goals. I DO want to be a force for good in my community. I DO want to offer an avenue for others to discover what is in them to participate in community. To that end, I would like to be best equipped to do that and I think this class can help me do that.

In terms of my role models, John Lewis is always the first person who comes to my mind. As a young black man in the south, his experience of discrimination (such an inadequate word) led him to act. His actions were brave and resulted in great bodily harm. He just kept stepping. No roadblocks put in his way stopped him. His eventual election to the US House of Representatives gave him an avenue to move toward correcting the inequalities he experienced, the most consequential of which was the Voting Rights Act. I think what is most inspiring to me about him is that he saw himself as a link in the chain of generations of inequality. He knew he would not ever see his vision of equality fully realized, but it didn’t stop him. It didn’t make him cynical. He dealt with every person respectfully without making public derogatory remarks. He called it like he saw it, but he stayed focused on the goal, the idea that every single human being is of value and deserves to be treated with dignity. He spoke of “making good trouble” and called out injustice without demeaning others dignity. He always appeared to me as someone who was always acting out of love, love for himself, his community, his country and his ideals. I think about him when I think something is too big, too hard, or too much trouble.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Making good trouble and acting out of love.

Eight siblings!? Families with more the three children will never cease to amaze me. Having grown up with one sister, even three seems like a lot. Still, I relate to the desire to standout; it’s funny that I can see where I want to fit in but also be really different. I also loved being the friend that people came to for advice — I was single until 19 years old and yet somehow had wisdom to share with friends with relationship woes.

Thank you for sharing the interesting and complex (at least to me) relationship you had and remember with your mother. It seems to support the notion that nothing is simply good or bad. I can resonate with the tendency to address the negative first, even when prompted to say what went right. Although I think I’m getting better 🙂 I agree about love — the role models I spoke of (especially Nena) have given and shown me so much love that I could absorb and hopefully pass on.

I really appreciate your recognition of the potential for focus to drift. A big thing I share with people who ask what these workshops have given me is the community of like-minded people who want to improve and do good things. Without these communities its so easy for values to drift, even when they’re my most important ones.

[Beth]

Reply to Hayden

Thanks, Hayden. You are so good at responding to what we each write. Look forward to seeing you Sunday.

Beth

[Jim Jenkins]

LEADERSHIP EXERCISES
#1 PERSONAL ESSAY JIM JENKINS

1. What motivated me to do the leadership exercises
I’ve had leadership roles and been a leadership practitioner for several decade. It is a dynamic field, always something to learn and improve your abilities. You don’t take a course and suddenly become a leader, at least a good one. It takes practice, learning and growing. I’ve been building my strategic leadership presence in sustainability for the past while and I’m expecting this course will help strengthen and focus those efforts.

2. What do I expect to gain from the experience
I’m a synthesizer and integrator of ideas and information. I intend to use this LEADERSHIP experience to identify gaps in my own process, broaden my mindset further and integrate new to me elements into my leadership style and performance.

3. What motivated me to pursue leading in general
Originally, I came out of a technical field with very little exposure to leadership principles. In earlier days I found myself thrust into leadership situations and realized I better figure it out quickly. I’ve been ‘led’ by some very poor leaders. I vowed to myself I wouldn’t be one of those. This is has become a crusade for me, not a job.

4. What do you think about leadership
Leadership and structure are the problem about 80% of the time, not the employee. This quote comes from Edward Deming’s work on quality leadership. The vast majority of people want to do good things and make a meaningful difference. It’s the leader’s job to figure out how to remove barriers for people and set up the right structure that inspires them to greatness.

Many leaders get it wrong. They think leadership is about them and their importance, their egos get in the way, they think they are a good leader. They may have positional power but how much influencing power do they have? It’s like a sense of humor, everyone thinks they has a good one.

5. What are your models for leadership
Over time, I’ve developed a servant leader style as the best fit for me and my values. Servant leadership is a management style that prioritizes the team’s growth and well-being over the organization’s or leader’s own ambitions. Unlike traditional leaders, a servant leader focuses on coaching and developing individuals, not just achieving the goals of the organization. Servant Leaders Listen First and Speak Last. That has been hard for me to learn. I’ve put axioms in place to keep me on track such as, Listen 80% of the time, talk no more than 20%.

This style can be seen as less assertive, less focused on getting ahead. It was popular in the organization I work for, now it is rare. I still follow it but have added adaptations. You have to be true to yourself in your style or people will know, you will lose your authenticity.

I also believe in leading by example and have integrated other leadership elements into my style. For example, I want to see that an employee has thought things through enough that they have a plan. I want them to use their brain. Once I’m comfortable they do and it is practical, I switch my focus to coaching and helping them be successful.

6. Who are your role models
Within the sustainability sphere, my role models include
• Christiana Figueres, Co-Founder, Global Optimism
• Florian Graichen,GM Forests to Bio-based Products
• Eva Gladek, Founder of Metabolic

From an inspiration and grit and determination perspective, my role models include,
Barak Obama
Winston Churchill
Abraham Lincoln had a servant leader style but to be honest I haven’t read about him much

7. What works for me when I lead, what doesn’t
I start by creating a vison of where we need to go.
I can be very inspiring when I speak.
I have to make sure I don’t get too far ahead of people or I lose them.

8. Where do I want to apply my leadership skills
In the sustainability field to inspire practical action at individual, community and organizational levels.

9. What is my history with leadership, first memories, best and worst memories and so on
Generally positive. I’m a doer and organizer so I often jump in to get involved and things started.
I seek out leadership positions where I believe I can have a positive impact
Best memory: I’ve built 4 high performing teams in my various roles.
Worst memory: I did the right thing to make a walkway safer but spent some money in tight times and was penalized for it. Part of my learning is you have to be prepared to do the right thing as a leader even though you may not be recognized and could be penalized. Allies are important for your survival in an organization. Doing the right think is sometimes not enough.

10. What is the value in doing these exercises
It’s another chapter in learning more about myself and continually developing my leadership abilities.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Jim,

Once again, you inspire me with your growth mindset. Thanks for sharing this. I’m not familiar with different leadership styles so it was interesting to learn about Servant Leadership; it sounds like a style that I’d like to practice and become effective with myself. I like the Edward Deming quote and your addition, “t’s the leader’s job to figure out how to remove barriers for people and set up the right structure that inspires them to greatness.” Also, I’ve already experienced the unfortunate reality that “doing the right thing is sometimes not enough.” Luckily, I think through Initiative and probably this course, it’ll be easier to obtain and keep the allies you mentioned.

[Beth]

Jim’s essay

Thank you Jim for your use of “servant leadership” as a description of your aspirations. That is exactly what I am aspiring to, as well. It is a reminder to me to keep working on the listen first and speak last code of leadership. I also was a “leader” in the mental health department with the Deming model and feel like the understanding that most problems arise from process and not people is a good reminder. Thank you for continue to inspire with your own journey.

[Bonnie]

First Essay

What motivated me to take the course and do the exercises in the book?
In my undergraduate studies in Business School, I took courses that I thought would be essential to becoming a strong leader, covering topics like communication, ethics, and more. Later, when I began consulting, we had additional courses on leading teams and fostering an unbiased approach, particularly through diversity and inclusion training. These courses increased my awareness, but they often felt more like “for-your-information” sessions without real experiences or case studies to reinforce the lessons.
Throughout my career, I’ve worked with people who hadn’t taken formal leadership courses yet were natural leaders, and others with MBAs who didn’t demonstrate the same level of skill. This experience made me curious to try a course with hands-on practice, where I could actively improve myself and become a better influence on both myself and those around me.

What do I expect to gain from the experience?
I want to become a more effective leader, capable of influencing others with or without formal authority. Through this experience, I hope to identify my strengths to leverage further and recognize areas of weakness that I need to improve.

What motivated me to pursue leading in general?
Throughout my career, I have worked with managers who were also great leaders, and I truly enjoyed those experiences. They created a positive work environment, and my career advanced during that time. I’ve also encountered managers who were solely focused on getting the job done, offering little opportunity for growth. I left jobs not because I disliked the work, but because I didn’t want to work under that type of leadership. My motivation is to help others and create an environment where people enjoy their work and have the opportunity to thrive.

What do I think about leadership?
I believe leadership is essential in all settings. We need someone to take charge; without that, situations can become chaotic, especially when everyone has their own ideas. It’s important to learn the skills necessary to align everyone’s objectives and achieve our goals effectively.

What are my models for leadership?
Collaborative Leadership: I admire leaders who prioritize transparent communication and foster collaboration among team members. They create an open environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas and feedback, which helps build trust and strengthens team dynamics.
Authentic Leadership: I deeply value authentic leadership, where leaders are genuine and transparent in their communication. I appreciate when leaders show their true selves, as it fosters a sense of trust and openness within the team. A calm and assertive approach in addressing challenges not only sets a positive example but also creates a supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas. For me, authentic leadership is about building connections and empowering others to thrive.

Who are my role models?
One of my biggest role models is my former manager, Luke. His calm demeanor really made a difference in our work environment. I remember working on a fast-paced and chaotic project at the client’s site, and Luke’s genuine personality helped keep both the team and the client at ease. As someone new to the group, I made my fair share of mistakes. Instead of getting frustrated, Luke saw those moments as opportunities for me to learn and grow, which I truly appreciated.
I also find inspiration in Ted Lasso, the fictional character from the Apple TV show. Ted, an American college football coach, was hired to lead an English soccer team despite having no prior experience. Many people laughed at him for it, but his positive attitude and friendly nature built strong team morale and trust. Watching Ted navigate challenges with such warmth and optimism reminds me of the impact a good leader can have on their team’s success.

What works for me when I lead? What doesn’t?
I find that leading by example and delivering quality work really resonates with me. For instance, when I was building trust and respect with a new client, I focused on exceeding their expectations with my deliverables. Once they recognized my competence, I earned my place at the table, which was incredibly rewarding.
On the flip side, I’ve learned that “voluntolding” doesn’t work for me. When people are told by my boss that they need to report to me, it often leads to slow or incomplete work. Even though I may hold a more senior position, if they’re not invested in the tasks, it becomes a challenge to motivate them. I believe that genuine buy-in is essential for effective leadership and collaboration.

Where do I want to apply my leadership skills?
I want to apply my leadership skills wherever possible—whether it’s in my alumni groups where I volunteer on the executive board, in my professional work, or in my daily life.

What is my history with leadership — first memories, best and worst memories, and so on?
One of my best memories of leadership was when we were organizing an event. I reached out to someone interested in helping, and together we quickly divided and conquered the tasks. The event ended up having a fantastic turnout!
On the other hand, my worst memory involves individuals who wanted to be free riders, simply looking to add a position to their LinkedIn profiles. They promised to contribute but never followed through and eventually stopped responding to my follow-ups.

What is the value in doing these exercises?
For me, the value comes from learning the basics and building a solid foundation. These exercises offer a safe space to practice, make mistakes, and grow.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Ted Lasso for the win!

Bonnie, I love that you mention Ted Lasso as a role model. I agree, that character is a great leader. I also agree that showing your competence is crucial to gaining trust with the people who are looking to you for leadership. I’m excited to get better at what comes after that. Keeping and building that trust and leading them effectively.

[Beth]

Bonnie’s Essay

I learned a new word from you, voluntolding. Made me laugh. It is actually what happened to me that resulted in my retiring several years earlier than I had imagined. You gave me a new word for it. I appreciate your reference to Ted Lasso, too. A positive spirit is a spirit that attracts and he was such a great example. His “be curious, not judgmental” is something I think we are exploring in this group. Having a safe place to learn and practice the basics is exactly what we are doing here.

[Joe Spradley]

Personal Essay 10/27/24

What motivated me to take the course and do the exercises in the book?

Honestly, I am currently lacking a bit of motivation and experiencing a sense of overwhelm. I had hoped that the Initiative course would help me focus, but instead, my dreams have continued to multiply, leaving me feeling scattered. Despite this, I recognize that I need guidance to navigate this period of uncertainty. That’s what motivated me to take this leadership course and commit to doing the exercises. I believe that by engaging with the material and reflecting deeply, I can find the clarity and direction I need to move forward effectively.

What do I expect to gain from the experience?

I want to lead myself better. I expect that through this experience, I will develop the skills and discipline necessary to manage my actions and decisions more effectively. By improving my self-leadership, I hope to gain clarity on my goals and reduce the overwhelm that comes from chasing too many dreams at once.

What motivated me to pursue leading in general?

I’ve led teams in digital production with a mixed bag of success. These experiences have shown me both the rewards and challenges of leadership. On one hand, there’s immense satisfaction in bringing a project to life and seeing the positive impact it can have. On the other hand, I’ve faced difficulties in team dynamics. These contrasting outcomes have motivated me to delve deeper into leadership practices—to understand what works, what doesn’t, and how I can improve. I aspire to be a leader who not only drives projects forward but also fosters a collaborative and supportive environment.

What do I think about leadership?

I believe that compassion and wisdom are some of the most significant qualities a leader can possess. Leadership isn’t just about directing others; it’s about understanding their needs, empathizing with their struggles, and guiding them with insight and foresight. A compassionate leader creates a safe space for team members to express ideas and concerns, while wisdom allows a leader to make sound decisions that consider both short-term and long-term implications. To me, leadership is about inspiring trust and respect by demonstrating integrity and a genuine concern for the well-being of the team.

What are my models for leadership?

I don’t have many models besides Simon Sinek’s “Leaders Eat Last” mentality. This philosophy resonates with me because it emphasizes the importance of putting the needs of others before your own. It suggests that true leadership involves creating an environment where people feel safe, valued, and motivated to contribute their best. This model appeals to me as it aligns with my belief in compassionate leadership. I strive to embody these principles by supporting my team members, acknowledging their contributions, and fostering a culture of mutual respect and collaboration.

Who are my role models?

Simon Sinek, Seth Godin, and Barack Obama are individuals I look up to. Simon Sinek, with his insights on leadership and organizational culture, has influenced my understanding of what it means to lead effectively. His emphasis on purpose and the “why” behind actions encourages me to seek deeper meaning in my work. Seth Godin’s focus on being remarkable and making meaningful connections inspire me to think creatively and authentically. Barack Obama’s leadership during his presidency, characterized by grace under pressure, effective communication, and a focus on unity, serves as an example of leading with wisdom and compassion.

What works for me when I lead? What doesn’t?

My strength lies in analysis, which can be a double-edged sword. While it allows me to understand complex situations and devise strategies, it also leads me to take on too much responsibility. This tendency can result in me not delegating effectively or not considering the input of team members adequately. When I focus solely on analysis and problem-solving without engaging the team, it can create a disconnect and hinder collaboration.

On the other hand, when I make a conscious effort to listen and involve others in the decision-making process, the outcomes are generally better. Team members feel valued, morale improves, and collective creativity leads to more innovative solutions. Therefore, improving my listening skills and fostering open communication are crucial steps in my development as a leader.

Where do I want to apply my leadership skills?

By honing my leadership abilities, I aim to build and guide teams that not only succeed commercially but also foster positive environments where creativity and collaboration thrive. I want to create organizations that are known for their innovation and for being great places to work. Applying my leadership skills in this context allows me to combine my passion for technology with my desire to make a meaningful impact.

What is the value in doing these exercises?

I want to get better and improve my discipline. Engaging in these exercises forces me to reflect on my experiences, acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses, and identify areas for growth. By articulating my thoughts and feelings, I gain clarity and can develop a concrete plan for personal and professional development. This process is essential for becoming the leader I aspire to be – a leader who is disciplined, compassionate, wise, and effective. Moreover, it prepares me to face future challenges with greater confidence and equips me with the tools to inspire and become the leader I want to be.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Joe,

Your answer to the first question hit home for me. Initiative helped me cast aside shiny objects but it has also resulted in me needing to think hard about the things that are truly important to me and choose which one to give my full attention. I have said yes to one or two too many things recently and feel extremely scattered like you. I’m learning a lot because of this, though.

I like your description of compassionate leadership. I’m not familiar with Simon Sinek’s “Leaders Eat Last” but the idea resonates strongly. I’ve realized the value of a safe space cannot be understated when it comes to enabling people to perform their best and be happy. Like you, I often struggle with delegating and am rewarded beyond my expectations every time when I do effectively delegate.

I’m very curious and excited to see where we both are personally professionally at the end of this course.

[Beth]

Joe’s essay

I wonder if you might share more about your frustrations? I’m curious if the exercise this week reveals any more to you about that feeling as you look at your inner dialog? I have felt plenty of frustration over the course of these classes, and the group has proved to be a great grounding and sounding board for me. I realize that having a community with whom I am exploring the “methods” of method initiative and method leadership has made a big difference for me. It has helped me not throw in the towel. I find myself wondering about the specifics of your experiences with successful and less successful leadership. I don’t have an “image” in my head of what exactly you do so I don’t know what kind of leading you are doing. That is a point of curiosity for me in understanding what you are going through.

[Joe Spradley]

Personal Essay

Lately, I’ve been grappling with a lack of motivation and an overwhelming sense of frustration. I initially hoped that the Initiative course would help me focus, but instead, my dreams have continued to multiply, leaving me feeling scattered and unsure of my direction. I recognize that to move forward, I need to confront these feelings head-on and develop the discipline to manage my ambitions effectively.

My experiences leading digital production teams have been a mixed bag of successes and failures. While there have been rewarding moments of collaboration and innovation, I’ve also faced challenges that stemmed from my own shortcomings as a leader. I’ve realized that my tendency to take on too much responsibility and my struggle to show understanding effectively have hindered both my personal growth and my teams’ success. These painful lessons have motivated me to delve deeper into understanding what it truly means to lead with compassion and wisdom.

I believe that leadership is not just about directing others but about connecting with them on a human level. Compassion allows a leader to understand the needs and struggles of their team, while wisdom provides the insight to make sound decisions. Influenced by role models like Simon Sinek, Seth Godin, and Barack Obama, I aspire to lead by putting the well-being of the team first, fostering trust, and creating a safe environment for collaboration.

Looking back on my history with leadership, I recognize that the failures, though difficult to revisit, have been invaluable learning opportunities. Projects that fell apart due to miscommunication or lack of focus highlight the areas where I need to grow. Conversely, the successes remind me of the potential impact of effective leadership. By embracing these experiences, both good and bad, I aim to transform my approach and apply my leadership skills more effectively in leading companies.

Engaging in this reflective process has been both challenging and enlightening. It forces me to confront the pain and frustration I’ve been feeling. I also acknowledge having so many options is a privilege. By improving my self-discipline and leadership abilities, I hope to turn these challenges into opportunities for growing into the leader I want to be.

[Olivia Ong]

Personal Essay

Leading is something that I often associate with the practice of success – going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm (according to Winston Churchill) It’s way too easy and way too much of a conditioning or programming to fall into the victim mentality and channel the story of why I couldn’t accomplish or pursue something that I wanted to do. I give myself many excuses and many outs and sometimes even sabotage my own efforts. This is done so that I can fall back on the narrative that I truly could have, if only I gave my full effort. I don’t do this consciously, and then I fall victim to being impacted by the same experiences I keep attracting and recreating in my life.

In order to create the life we want, we’ll need to signal the gene ahead of the environment, or rather, the feeling ahead of the experience. I have found this week that I have found an avenue to do so – meditation. It’s something I’ve dabbled in off and on and never really had much of a conviction about until I saw data supporting the impacts of meditation. It starts with being aware of the old thoughts I don’t want to have anymore. Then I need to create the visual life and feelings I will want to have when I am my ideal self. Lastly, I need to stay conscious of the new mindset constantly.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

I love Williamson’s empowerment of the self to shine and lean into our power. I’ve feared coming across as arrogant or simply never was taught to toot my own horn. In fact, I’ve been conditioned to believe that it is boastful. Looking at social situations, it’s so common to commiserate with others. I am curious to see who will celebrate my successes and my positive pursuits with me. Who fans the flame of my light, and who is afraid of it. This is one way that I have started to navigate leading myself through relationships in my circle. My hope is that through learning to lead myself, I can inspire others to do the same. To be intentional, to create a life they love.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Olivia,

I feel like I’ve been experiencing self-sabotage lately. Or maybe I’m just becoming more aware of it? That would be a good thing. Either way, I think what triggers it is having too much on my plate, feeling paralyzed, and failing to act. I know that mood follows action but living that mantra is so tough sometimes.

I hope to shine and give permission to others, too 🙂 Great quote, thanks for sharing!!

[Olivia Ong]

Hi Hayden,

Thank you for sharing! You can also call action into your life by channeling the feeling ahead as well. It takes intention and imagination though.

Yes! Keep on shining! 🙂

[Beth]

Olivia’s essay

I hear you loud and clear about having “escape hatches” that allow you to not complete a project or follow through on an idea. I think this class is a great way to keep me accountable to MYSELF for taking the next step and not giving up. I am really appreciating you and the group for that very reason. I am honored being witness to your personal exploration of self and meaning/value. How can any of us ever move forward with any idea that requires leadership without being connected to our own awareness of self, value, agency? Thank you for including us in your journey.

[Olivia Ong]

Hi Beth,

Thank you for acknowledging the ways we allow ourselves to fall flat on things. Sometimes it simply takes letting go of things we no longer want to pursue. Thank you for engaging 🙂

[Eugene Bible]

Personal Essay – Eugene Bible

The term “leadership” means different things to different people. To some, it’s merely a position at work, granted by some higher authority. To others, it’s the first step to changing the world.

Most (if not all) of the major changes that have come to modern society happened at least partially due to having leaders who were able to rally people to a cause and effect change. Leadership done poorly looks like coercion, compulsion, oppression, intimidation, or harassment (I actually don’t think of this as leadership at all really, but to some, that is what it can mean). Leadership done well leads to progress, people feeling supported and empowered, and true growth and change. Some of the greatest leaders gave us basic human rights, equality, freedom, and much more. To me, leadership is the first step to changing your world for the better.

As a young boy, to say I was shy would be a grand understatement. I couldn’t talk to anyone I didn’t already know well and feel comfortable with. I certainly couldn’t talk to girls, and as a burgeoning teenager, that just wouldn’t do. In my mid-teens, I spent years learning how to be “well liked.” I read books on body language, having conversations, relating to others so they feel like you’re listening, and how to make them feel understood. I studied stand-up comedians tirelessly, figuring they are a group of people who have to go up on stage, seem down-to-earth, and make everyone in the crowd feel comfortable enough to laugh at jokes within seconds. After years of practice, I achieved my goal. By 18, I could be the life of the party. I could be surrounded by 10 people listening to me ad lib on whatever I felt like talking about, with everyone laughing. I can still recall the voices of friends telling everyone else “Eugene is SO funny!!!” I loved the attention and being in the spotlight.

At some point, the excitement of knowing how to steal the spotlight died – I no longer felt any need to be so attention-seeking and I had gained a lot of confidence from that experience. But 20 years later, I realize that recently I don’t want to just be likable. Being likable and having lots of friends is fine, but having lots of friends doesn’t change the world. I want people’s lives to be better for having had me in it. I want to have more of an impact on those around me than just being a nice person to talk to. It’s time to focus instead on leadership.

I’m now reading Joshua Spodek’s Leadership Step By Step with a new goal in mind: to gain the skills in leading others – to learn how to help people search within themselves and motivate them to want to change for the better. To help them realize their vision and help guide them and show them the path to achieve. To help them make their world better.

In my current life, I have several semi-leadership roles in my life. I work as a project manager for water utility projects – I need to be able to lead field crews, engineers working for me, administrative assistants, all with a goal to complete a project. At home, I am a husband and a father – I need to be able to offer direction, stability, guidance, and partnership to my wife and children. I am a podcast host and advocate for sustainable living – I need to be able to help others find their reasons to live healthier and happier lives through sustainability. There is no area of my life where improved leadership skills wouldn’t help.

My current leadership skills are not non-existent – there are certainly some parallels between leading and connecting with others and being likable, but my leadership skills are certainly not as strong as I want them to be. I find that in leading others, empathy, assertiveness, and strong listening skills are key, and I try to remember that at all times. On the contrary, telling others my own opinions, telling others what they “should” do, and trying to “prove” I’m right are all prime examples of things I’ve learned not to do when trying to lead, though admittedly, I find myself doing them all-too-often anyway and thinking to myself that it’s time for change.

So this has brought me here. The value I hope to gain from these exercises is a new abundance of tools to help me communicate better, guide others, and become a person others want to follow.

[Hayden Kessinger]

Eugene,

I find stories like yours from HS fascinating. I was also shy but maybe not as shy as you. I didn’t bother trying to initiate a relationship and instead waited until I practically had no choice but to ask a girl out at age 19. It’s so interesting how we were opposite — you were dedicated to transform your shyness into confidence while I just gradually became more confident (though I’m still far from an extrovert). I strongly relate to your desire to go beyond being liked. You describe my feeling perfectly, “I want people’s lives to be better for having had me in it.” Also like you, I know that “shoulding” people goes nowhere but do it anyway. I hope the next 18 weeks leave us both doing it less.

[Beth]

Eugene’s Essay

It sounds like you used a “method friendship” approach in your life, learning the SKILLS to connect with and enjoy being with others. Your success at accomplishing what you set out to do is admirable. Now, you “want people’s lives to be better for having had me in it.” That is such an awesome goal and one that I think is shared by our compadres in this class. Thank you for your contribution to my learning in the class and your commitment to developing and using the skills you learn to make the world better because you are in it. I will support that goal in every way I know how during the coming weeks.

[Author]

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