Exercise 4: Write Your Beliefs

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    • #20189
      Joshua
      Keymaster

      Please post your reflections on the Write Your Beliefs exercise here, including addressing some of the questions on page 39.

    • #20211
      Hayden Kessinger
      Participant

      Beliefs

      Hi Friends! I’m writing to you from Painted Post, NY where I am attending the New York State Outdoor Education Association annual conference. This is a pretty sweet way to lead into the final week of my internship. Today was full of workshops and some networking and tomorrow will be the same. I’ll also be giving my own workshop tomorrow! Well, kind of. I’m going to be sharing the Spodek Method, which is obviously not my creation. I’m very excited and nervous.

      The nature of my workshop and the nature of my mind going into it are both relevant for the beliefs I recorded for homework this week. We moved up from writing our inner monologue to writing our beliefs. This means thinking about and writing things like “getting enough sleep is important to be healthy” instead of things like “I should get more sleep.” The latter is a judgment based on the former which is a belief. I enjoyed this exercise as it helped me realize the roots of why I think the things I do. When I noticed a thought that sounded like it was coming from a belief, I sat with it for a few moments and tried to discern what the underlying belief was. I didn’t do a great job keeping up with this exercise throughout the week but still wrote down 41 beliefs. I’d like to do more, but I wanted to still reflect on these for now.

      Did I notice any trends or patterns?
      Yes. Most of my beliefs were related to health and wellbeing. And many existed in juxtaposition — I’d write one thing and immediately think about the opposite belief. I think this is most common when thinking about my own self-worth and abilities. There’s a belief that I’m not smart or good, etc. but then a rebuttal to that belief, like “no, I actually am smart, etc.”

      Did I notice unexpected beliefs?
      Yeah, a few. I didn’t expect to have as many negative beliefs. Like I said above, they were countered by a positive one that I felt like is my true belief. But the negative belief is there in some capacity nonetheless.

      Did I notice the difference between beliefs and strategies?
      Yes, I think so.

      How do beliefs work?
      Honestly, I don’t think I know. They can come from many sources and experiences. Sometimes I have no idea why I believe certain things and not others. They can also be changed!

      How do beliefs affect my life?
      I think beliefs can play a big role in guiding my decisions. They make me look at the world in my own specific way. They’re the source of my judgment of others and myself. They can make me happy or sad.

      Where and how might I apply my experience in the rest of my life?
      Similar to past exercises, I’d like to simply continue this practice of noticing my beliefs. I hope to apply it by taking pause when I have a judgment and considering what belief it is stemming from. Knowing the breadth of my beliefs will be helpful for understanding myself and others.

      I think I have a lot to learn when it comes to being mindful of my thoughts and beliefs. I’m not confident in all of my answers to the questions above but looking forward to learning more. This will be a lifelong process, I’m sure 🙂

      I keep having thoughts about being more mindful, meditating, or exercising more but then give myself a pass to do it when I’m less busy. I have to say, I’ve never felt so busy in my life but I also know that by prioritizing those things, even just a little bit more, will add to my life and give me more time rather than taking it away. Just last night a coworker commented that I’m like the little engine that could. In a way it felt good — I’m being acknowledged for my hard work. Mostly, however, it made me feel kinda sad. I don’t want to be a person that just keeps going, going, going. I don’t want to try too hard to impress others and end up exhausting myself and ignoring other more important parts of my life. So, on that note, I’m going to stop writing and post this!

      • #20223
        Evelyn Wallace
        Participant

        Hi Hayden – first of all, I can’t wait to hear how your conference went! Leading Spodek Method workshop, eh? So exciting! Tell us everything!

        Also, I just want to encourage you to go easy on yourself: you made a good-faith effort at completing this assignment, and yes, you will probably develop a more thorough awareness of your own belief systems as you get more practice… But as it stands (and I know I’m not the teacher here), I hope that you’ve evolved out of the “I think I did it wrong” state of mind. I think you did it right, and I think when you read this entry next year, being one year farther down the road in your journey, you’ll be grateful to have a record of where you started.

    • #20216
      Jim Jenkins
      Participant

      Write out your beliefs

      1. Honesty is the best policy
      2. The vast majority of people want to do good
      3. Having a job or task you are interested in gives you more motivation
      4. People need to work on something that makes a difference, is important
      5. It takes hard work and self-promotion to get recognized (this is a belief that changed for me in the last year. Hard work alone is not enough, Marshall Goldsmith)
      6. School is only the beginning of your learning journey
      7. The biggest limiting factor to what I want to accomplish is often my mindset and fear that I can’t do it
      8. The earth is round, more or less
      9. A manager is focused on doing things right, a leader is focused on doing the right things
      10. We all have some innate level of leadership in us
      11. Societies level of consumption is destroying the climate that supports life
      12. There are a lot of poor bosses out there
      13. People often tell themselves stories to make themselves feel good
      14. You can’t really say you hold a value dear until you test it
      15. I am fortunate to live in Canada
      16. Giving people a chance
      17. We are ruled mostly by fate but still have choice if we notice opportunities that come by and act on them
      18. We are destined to repeat life’s lessons until we learn from them
      19. Taking ownership of your own Personal development
      20. I don’t have what it takes to be an entrepreneur. Working on this one
      21. Focus on what you can control or influence, don’t spend much time on what you can’t
      22. This too will pass
      23. Every girl likes a well dressed man
      24. We are integral to the environment we live in
      25. I believe I am always exactly where I’m supposed to be even though I may not understand why at the time.
      26. I am an ethical person who believes in ‘it’s the right thing to do’
      27. I am an innovator with a good eye for improvement opportunities
      28. I like to push myself to see how far I can go, beyond my official roles and experience
      29. I am a great synthesizer of disparate ideas into a whole, another superpower
      30. I believe in showing up with presence
      31. I believe motivating and inspiring people is one of my strongest superpowers
      32. I have a strong sense of responsibility that drives me to solve problems outside my roles
      33. I believe taking action on an imperfect solution is better than perfecting it before starting

      REFLECTION

      Did you notice any trends?

      A number of leadership themes, most of the beliefs I listed are positive. That is a transition from the past for me. The few that are negative, I am aware of and working on. I can tell the timeline and situations for when I adopted certain beliefs in the past.

      Did you notice unexpected beliefs?

      I noticed a few beliefs that are relatively new for me, an artifact of changes I/m trying to make in myself.
      Calling out the few negative belief’s is the firt time I’ve put them in writing as a more formal acknowledgement.

      Did you notice the difference between beliefs and strategies?

      I understand the difference but don’t think I included any strategies.

      How do beliefs work?

      When you adopt a belief, you accept it as true. They fuel your motivations and drive your attitudes and behavior. Your conscious decisions are driven more by your beliefs than most think. You’d like to think it’s all a conscious decision and the result of in-depth rationalization on your part.

      How do beliefs affect your life?

      We use beliefs to help us understand the world around us. A person’s beliefs will guide them in their decision making and response to situations. If make a decision that is incongruent with a belief, I believe you will be in turmoil until it is resolved. I’ve felt this at times, treating people poorly, making a work decision that wasn’t right with my beliefs.

      Where and how might you apply your experience in the remainder of your life?

      By taking stock of my beliefs I can refine my true path forward and my behaviours. I feel I’ve already been doing some of that but this exercise has encouraged me to pay more attention.

    • #20217
      Beth
      Participant

      Beliefs

      My beliefs tended to be mostly from the “eagle” perspective as opposed to the “mouse”, i.e looking at things from a more distant vantage point than up close. I think there was one thing that came up for me as a belief that wasn’t exactly surprising but maybe felt with more generalized sentiment than I had previously noted. I didn’t write any strategies, I don’t think, I think they were all beliefs.

      Beliefs are the lens through which I make meaning out of the data I receive from my senses. They are something like our skeleton or the frame of a house. The incoming data gets placed according to the infrastructure our beliefs have constructed. I see the world around us according to what I believe. I hear what another says to me in the context of my beliefs. I put stories to my emotions and sensations according to what I believe about life and myself. And one belief I have is that we all think that what we believe is “right” which frames how we interact with others. It is only with a belief that I could be wrong, or I might be missing something, when something opens up in me to listen or observe differently. This is something that I think is incredibly important to cultivate in my life in order to grow beyond my current identity or limitations.

    • #20222
      Evelyn Wallace
      Participant

      Beliefs Exercise: by Evelyn Wallace

      Did you notice any trends or patterns?

      A little over eight years ago, I experienced a before-and-after pivotal life moment: witnessing the death of a friend. At that point, and in the months that followed, I recognized that most of my beliefs about the world were fluff and had been taught to me indirectly by a world that didn’t recognize it was propped up on fluff. I rebuilt my worldview from the ground up at that point: do we really need money? If so, why? What is life all about, anyway? What are these rules for and who made them up? Who do I want to be in this world? That’s all to say: the trend of examining my beliefs is an arc that spreads over eight years.

      The trends and patterns I noticed in this exercise was that most of the rebuilding I did in that initial awakening era still hold. There was a frequent undertone of gratitude acceptance, and spirituality. Other beliefs felt more temporary (“I believe the kids are hungry”) and negotiable (i.e. they wouldn’t be hungry soon).

      Did you notice unexpected beliefs?

      This might be the part of the exercise that I improve upon with time. It might be that I unwittingly suppressed beliefs that I found distasteful, or it might be that I’ve come far enough on the spiritual path that I can have a thought (“this grad school group project is pointless”), decide whether that’s who I really want to be (“this group is not satisfying in the way other groups are satisfying, but that’s okay, and I’m grateful for what it is and not upset about what it isn’t”), then uncover the underlying belief (“life provides what we need when we need it, even if it doesn’t look how we wanted it to”).

      Did you notice the difference between beliefs and strategies?

      Yes! I definitely had to rework my language around how I was identifying beliefs. There was a lot of judgment at first about what other people could and should do. At first, I would think of my belief as something like, “La Grande is 4-miles wide and most of us should be able to bike everywhere.” But when I was led to identifying the underlying belief, I recognized that I believe that human life does not necessitate toxic pollution.

      How do beliefs work?

      Great question… for a doctoral thesis! Beliefs are the framework that our lives fit within. How about a bite-sized, tangential story:

      At one point this week, I was texting with a very good friend whose Christian identity is his primary identity. When he wrote something somewhat flirty, I recommended he find himself a good Christian woman who could make him spaghetti; then I told him I knew of places where such women gather weekly. He wrote back “the devil herself is telling me to go to church!” I asked if he really thought that, and he didn’t deny it. Later in the day, he sent me something biblical about Satan wanting to destroy things. My question is: why would he ever want to hang out with me? I believe that he’s got me all wrong, but that’s his right.

      Maybe the short answer to the actual question is: beliefs inform our thinking, and our thinking informs our behaviors. Sometimes in seemingly irrational ways. Maybe my friend believes that hanging out with the devil is more fun than hanging out with good Christan girls?

      How do beliefs affect your life?

      That depends on whose beliefs the question refers to.

      If the question refers to my beliefs, then my beliefs affect my life by essentially framing what kind of life I lead. I believe every day on earth is a gift, and some of those days, the rain comes down. I do not spend breath complaining about rain—or any weather pattern. Sometimes, when I have to put on all the extra layers to stay dry on my bike, I have a moment of inner-grumble laziness; but that is inevitably followed by the well-earned satisfaction of feeling the rain on my person, moving through space through nature, powered by my own strength and by the ingenious employment of that strength through a manmade machine (i.e. my bike). Plenty of other people believe that rain—or any other weather pattern—is a pain; I know this because I hear them complain about it. In this way, their beliefs about the rain are very much different from my beliefs (as evidenced by their complaints about it versus my biking through it), and my beliefs affect my experience while their beliefs affect their experience.

      If the question refers to the beliefs of others, let’s pick up on the last example. Do their beliefs about the rain also affect my experience? I suppose the answer is yes. People driving by, wafting poison into the air I am directly breathing does, in fact, affect me. Sometimes they drive too fast or too close and splash large buckets of water out of puddles and onto me. Inversely, my beliefs (as manifested in my actions) affect them in that they have to slow down and/ or give me space to pass.

      Another example:

      There was recently a presidential election. My belief that external circumstances need not affect (in any long-term way) my inner state paired with my belief that humans tend to behave in predictable patterns across time and cultures allowed me to experience November 6th with the same grateful state of mind as I had experienced November 5th. Knowing that many did not feel such equanimity leads me to suspect that we are working with different belief systems, and it makes me curious to examine what those belief systems might be.

      Where and how might you apply this exercise in the rest of your life?

      I am eager to examine the behavior of others through this beliefs-model. I predict it will help me connect at an even deeper level to our shared common interests and will help broaden my compassion for those whose worldviews have seemed incomprehensible to me in the past.

    • #20226
      Olivia Ong
      Participant

      Olivia’s Belief’s Exercise:

      Did you notice any trends or patterns?
      I did notice that at times, I would have conflicting beliefs. Most of my beliefs can be categorized into beliefs about responsibility, myself, others, perceptions of others, how I’m perceived by others, abilities, lack of abilities, and how I navigate the world.

      Did you notice any unexpected beliefs?
      I am pleasantly surprised by how many of my beliefs are positive! And in some cases, I noticed that I have conflicting beliefs – perhaps what ends up causing my deliberation between certain actions or the inability to make a decision.

      Did you notice the difference between strategies and beliefs?
      I noticed that I often started with strategies and it took me a while to get to the core belief.

      How do beliefs work?
      Beliefs inform the way we view and interact with the world, people around us, and our environments.

      How do beliefs affect your life?
      Beliefs help me to navigate what to do, when to do It, how to do it, with what urgency, how well something is done, etc.

      Where and how might you apply your experience in the rest of your life?
      The next time I’m in conflict (neutral or heated), I can ask myself and others about our beliefs so that we can start with the core differences. So often people believe that their beliefs are correct, when in fact, they are rather subjective. Knowing how each person believes can inform a more productive discussion.

    • #20230
      Eugene Bible
      Participant

      Write Your Beliefs – Eugene Bible

      The Write Your Beliefs exercise, much like the 2 previous exercises (3 Raisins and Inner Monologue), is an exercise in learning how to step outside of yourself and become an observer to your own being.

      Whereas the 3 raisins exercise and inner monologue focused more on being a passive observer and just noticing what your mind is experiencing, the Write Your Beliefs exercise felt like I had to become more of an active observer. I had to get more meta about my thoughts and ‘think about thinking.’ I almost felt myself going back to the inner monologue exercise, as I frequently caught myself noting and hearing my inner monologue “talk” about what my beliefs are: “Wait…What’s the belief behind this? Why do I do this? What is my belief that tells me this is the right/normal thing to do? Do most other people believe this too? I wonder if this is a rare belief…Is this even a belief? Does this count as a belief? I’m not sure it does…” From that perspective of observing myself, it really felt like this exercise had built on the last two.

      In general, as someone who has lived abroad for one third of my life, I taught myself to be hyper-conscious of my own actions and always question my own beliefs and whether they are typical for where I am. The smallest, almost insignificant beliefs or actions in another culture can be highly disrespectful, which I learned the hard way. Because of this hyper-sensitivity and always-questioning attitude towards my own actions and beliefs, the beliefs I wrote down were generally unsurprising to me, though I have never taken the time to write them down before and found the act of writing them all in one place to be really interesting. To have so many of your beliefs all just written out on paper made me feel somewhat exposed and self-conscious. I found myself thinking “What if someone reads this? What will they think of me?” It felt like I was really exposing a very private part of myself, and that was interesting to me. As fundamental as these are to my everyday life, there is probably not a single person on earth (other than me) that knows all of these about me.

      The most compelling part of spending a week writing my beliefs was that the sheet I ended up with ends up representing the core fundamentals of who I am as a person, at least in the present moment. As far as I can think of, there isn’t anything else I’ve ever written, including journals, daily to-do lists, or life trackers that could come close to encompassing all that I am as a person, but I feel like my list of beliefs came close. The beliefs described who I am, the ideas that motivate the actions I make, and even revealed some of my flaws. Some beliefs were ones that were only temporary and felt just because of a particularly emotional moment. Others felt like they were core to who I am and never change. All were, in some way, me.

      One lesson that this exercise imparted on me was the difference between values and beliefs. Before doing this exercise, I would not have been able to truly understand the difference between a value and a belief, but I feel like I do now. Whereas a value is a consciously made, fundamental concept that I aspire to embody, a belief is not always something that I have consciously chosen to believe. Whereas I always know what my values are, beliefs can be elusive and hard to identify. For example, I value kindness and respecting other people. That is something that is learned, but also something that I recognize is important and decide to embody. But a belief can be an unconscious, possibly dangerous, assumption, like a belief that classical music is good for you and rap is not (not an actual belief of mine, but a belief that I have heard). I might value and enjoy classical music, but if I believe that rap is bad for you and am not careful, my actions or words might easily offend someone. I recognize that beliefs and values are not necessarily mutually exclusive and can deeply affect each other, as well. I even found that sometimes my beliefs were opposite of my values, which was a valuable realization.

      The value that I got from this exercise was surprisingly deep. Learning to recognize my own beliefs is a skill that, until now, I primarily used as a tool for navigating other cultures or interactions with other people, but this exercise has made me see the value of recognizing beliefs in the application of self-analysis. Only in being honest and transparent with yourself in your beliefs can you have any hope of growing – recognizing your beliefs, good or bad, gives you an opportunity to decide “is this the person I want to be? Does this belief accurately reflect my values and the person I am trying to be in the world?” It gives you a tool to analyze your own actions – to identify the reasons behind good actions in order to reinforce and encourage more of them, while identifying the reasons behind bad actions in order to block them from happening again.

      This exercise is one that has felt so compelling, that after just one week of doing it, I feel like I haven’t done enough. I want to write more. I want to find every single one of my beliefs. It may not be realistic or possible, but there is something satisfying in the process of self-discovery and writing them down. I will certainly be continuing to write my beliefs for the coming weeks.

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