I used to think the best way to strengthen a relationship was to avoid problems.
Now I think differently. No two people agree on everything. Everyone has different values. Between every pair of people there will inevitably be conflict. More than that, you can never predict where or when the conflict will arise until it does.
In other words, relationships have problems. Trying to avoid them is a fool’s errand.
I’ve found it more valuable to relationships to have the skills to resolve problems. That way you don’t fear them.
If you know what to do handling problems is like broken bones healing—they heal stronger than they were before the problem.
More important than learning to avoid problems is learning how to stay resilient when they happen and to resolve and recover from them.
It’s like the parable of the karate teacher.
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