I was talking to a coaching client about leadership, which works with people’s intrinsic motivations. Since our greatest motivations and passions tend to be our greatest vulnerabilities, we tend to protect ourselves by hiding them. A challenge, then, for the leader who wants to go beyond just managing, beyond just leading, to inspire people, is to learn their deepest motivations, which they often protect the most. I was working with[…] Keep reading →

I posted last month about a Spodek Method commitment to walk in a park with my sister in Queens based on walking in the park with my dad. Yesterday, I walked in the same park I did with my dad, this time with my other sister, plus her husband and son, my brother-in-law and nephew. To refresh your memory, that post, Another Spodek Method commitment: a walk in the park[…] Keep reading →

When Donald Trump was first elected President ten years ago, since I didn’t know many Trump voters, I posted in the column I wrote then with Inc.com, “If You Voted for Trump, Let’s Meet.“ The post led to several conversations with Trump voters across the US. I found the conversations informative and lovely. How could people who promoted compassion and tolerance so much be so mean? One comment that one[…] Keep reading →

I wrote something last week in Another Spodek Method commitment: a walk in the park with family that prompted reflection: Talking while walking in a park is different than in the city or indoors when multiple family members are figuring out who sits where and what to do for dinner and all that nicknack stuff that goes into events. It’s peaceful, meandering, and unimportant in a way that makes it[…] Keep reading →

The library near me displays books, changing them every day or week or so. Today they had Roots by Alex Haley. I read the book in college, I think in my first year, which would mean 1988-89. It wasn’t for class and it’s a long book so I don’t know how I found time for it. I don’t remember much of it, but there are a few words in it[…] Keep reading →

Do you like for experiences in life to have meaning? What makes an event or experience meaningful? It’s tempting to say it’s difficult to define. The dictionary defines meaningful as “Having meaning, function, or purpose” and meaning as “significant quality, especially: implication of a hidden or special significance.” Those definitions seem vague to me. They just substitute the word quality for meaning. They don’t suggest how to make something more[…] Keep reading →

The more I see flying from the outside, the more I see it as the opposite of travel, or of achieving what people want in travel. First, if you walk somewhere, or bike or even ride a horse or sail a boat, you are traveling. That is, you are actively causing yourself to move from one place to another. When you get in a vehicle like a plane, train, or[…] Keep reading →

People are talking about flying to visit family these days. There’s a running joke about the weird uncle or someone who is hard to get along with. I hope you’re having a better time with family than the people I hear about, and they’re not the people I work with who are living more sustainably. I’m talking about mainstream people talking about their usual holiday plans. Before flying, we used[…] Keep reading →

People’s language and emotions get intense around wedge issues like abortion, gun rights, and tax levels. One side says the other wants to control women’s bodies, the other says the one wants to kill babies. Such characterizations, mischaracterizations, and seeing the other from your view not theirs makes finding common ground nearly impossible. I call this pattern the worst problem in the world. Yet we have to live together. Secession[…] Keep reading →