Reader responses from “Help restore my shaken confidence in people from Christmas Eve day”
On December 25, 2025, I wrote a post Help restore my shaken confidence in people from Christmas Eve day that recounted a troubling experience I had delivering food to a community fridge. I wrote about how after spending a lot of time and energy on a holiday, a group of people showed tons of aggression and zero gratitude pushing everyone out of the way to get all the food they could for themselves.
In the US in 2025, it felt risky to specify that they were elderly Chinese women, but they were. People there who weren’t elderly Chinese women didn’t get a chance. They were pushed out. One had a tug of war with me over food I didn’t intend to distribute. She grabbed it and pulled it from me, entitled to something that wasn’t her property.
It was a sickening sight. I’d seen such behavior before and heard about it from others. I know there’s no biological basis for race, so I’m not ascribing their behavior to race, but am curious how to explain it.
I asked readers if they could explain it. I got a bunch of responses. They’ve been sitting in my inbox. Why have I waited until now to post them? Because I fear being targeted despite my goal being to promote understanding. In any case, I’ve made the comments anonymous and am finally posting responses from readers.
One person just gave a positive judgment for volunteering. I appreciate the note. I hope everyone volunteers at different things. I do it instead of social media, even though I spend about as much time volunteering per week as the average American spends per day at screens, though that doesn’t stop my liberal, progressive friends from saying I’m privileged for having that time. They prefer their preconceptions to doing the math.
just read your daily posting about some people showing bad behavior re. food which is given to people who is need of somebody sharing and voleenter to bring food to the them.
very good that you take time to help people by bringing food to the food stations.
The next one came from a longtime friend who is a Vietnamese-American and sees something similar:
hey man, happy holidays, hope everything is going well except for the Chinese women mobbing. On that front, this is stereotypical asian culture of unapologetic entitlement and aggressiveness. Down here there’s a Vietnamese shopping center called Eden, kinda like little Saigon, with one store called Thanh Son which sells a variety of prepared foods like fried tofu, egg rolls, etc.. You’re supposed to stand in line with workers taking orders at the front. I only go there when [he names some relatives] asks me to get something because middle aged asian women will freely just walk in front of me in line as if I wasn’t there. I have to constantly tap them and point them to stand behind me, and then they act shocked at what I did. I grew up with this but still can’t understand the mentality.
The third came from someone I didn’t know, but who had seen such behavior too and gave useful advice to record. I haven’t delivered to that fridge since then so haven’t had the chance to video record.
Still, none of these reader speculated the cause of the behavior.
Regarding your experience attempting to deliver food to a Community Fridge and encountering the “herd”…Welcome to the 🌎 of “IT’S FOR THE NEEDY, NOT THE GREEDY!!! Just so that you know, yours is not an isolated incident. This is what they do and this is what they are known for doing…all around the five boroughs. Not necessarily any one person, but as a mindset amongst them. How can I speak with such conviction? Because I have personally witnessed it and been a recipient of their greed mentality. I have personally been cursed at, had food snatched out of my hand, been body checked, etc. I have seen feeding sites where they must be closely monitored by someone in authority and must be handed food items to ensure that everyone has they opportunity to benefit and, if you dare attempt to correct their behavior, they suddenly don’t understand or don’t speak English. So…this is how I know handle them. As I raise my phone and press “record”, I let them know that I am recording them. Suddenly, they are no longer “needy” as it’s all about saving face.
I record both the individuals and the “herd”.
Curious, for some strange reason they now stay far away from me. Others have commented to me that once they also begin to record them…the same thing happens. The “herd” is no longer “needy”. I say that to say this…I can show you better then I can tell you. PS, food for thought…You know they 🚫 need it, they know they 🚫 need it so what do they do with it and where does it all go? Hmmm……
I’m closing, understand that they are a representation of a misguided cultural mindset as they are not the only ones who engage in such atrocious behavior. Having said that, please have a peaceful New Year and remember…”point and record” is a universal language 😂🤣😂🤣🤣
A reader I know who lives in New York City told me in person that she sees such behavior often. She’s Chinese-American. She speculated that people who survived Maoism, especially the Great Famine of 1959-61 that saw 20–50 million deaths from starvation, may have learned to get and protect what material goods they could. I asked why men didn’t do it. She didn’t know.
A few other people told me in person about similar experiences, often around cutting in lines. Other volunteers who deliver food know the pattern. After three months, I forgot what people said.
Sorry to take three months to post the responses.
Still curious to explain
I’m still curious to explain the behavior by one group. If anyone can make the pattern make sense, I’d welcome the explanation.
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