In conversation 1, Jim shared his values and committed to live by one. In conversation 1.5, he shared problems with the challenge and how he overcame them. In this conversation he shares how it worked. Listen to hear how persevering through challenges to live by your values leads to a better life. Judge for yourself what you find from his experience. I heard: More time with his family Quality time with his family Fun Finding more challenges (why not, if they're fun?) Things became easier than before What are you waiting for? Commit to a personal challenge. Start your journey of fun, ease, and peace of mind that Jim did. Take off your wet socks I introduce my wet socks analogy for not living by your values in this episode, which is: Say you step in a puddle and get your socks wet in the morning. You can still go about your day. If you're busy, you might not notice them. It's still a relief when you get home and take them off at the end of the day. Finally you feel fresh, clean air against your skin instead of wet sock. You look back and realize they've been annoying you all day. Making yourself busy distracted you from noticing them, but never made them go away. You wish you had taken them off earlier. Living by your values after ignoring them feels like taking off wet socks. As with wet socks, you look back and realize that abandoning your values has annoyed you your whole life. Making yourself busy distracted you from noticing that you weren't living by them, but never made it go away. You wish you had chosen to live by them earlier. Denying that you're abandoning minor values, prevents you from noticing big ones. On the other hand, fixing the little ones opens your eyes to others, which motivates you to fix them, then to fix bigger ones, and so on. You may consider small denial not that big a deal, but once you take off those socks, you realize you could have long before. Living in conflict with your values means living without integrity. It eats you up inside. Take off your wet socks. Enjoy the freedom of living by your values. The environment is a great place to start.
I will recommend this episode a lot. You’ll hear an accomplished man struggle with a goal he expected to be easy. You’ll also hear him triumph, bringing his wife and children to the triumph—creating it with them. I’m releasing it on a holiday because it’s as heartwarming a story of a father bringing his family and community together as any—despite, or because of, adversity and the skills he’s learned to handle it. Skills you can learn, starting by listening to his story. This episode is a real-time update from someone implementing a change in his life, facing resistance, figuring out how to handle it, and succeeding through failure where most people give up. I scheduled this conversation because Jim wrote me that he was struggling to meet the personal challenge he came up with. Between that email and scheduling the conversation, he figured out a solution better for him than the original challenge. Many people decide to change their lives then face unexpected challenges. Most give up or let their standards slide. Overcoming challenges With the plan fresh in his mind, Jim shares How he understood the situation What he did to solve it How he involved others He he built community His mindset If you’ve struggled making commitments, Jim’s story will help you. Leading without authority Beyond personal change, the episode also reveals the leadership techniques I’m finding work in leading people when you don’t have authority over them. For full depth, read and do the exercises in my book, Leadership Step by Step. You can hear me practice them in my first conversation and their results here: In conversation 1, I didn’t tell him what to do, I asked him what he cared about, then invited him to act on those values As a result In conversation 1.5, he saw doing this challenge as for himself, acting on his values In conversation 1, I set up future conversations, creating accountability As a result In conversation 1.5, he described motivation to meet those expectations See if you can find other techniques in how I framed and led starting the challenge and the resulting behavior.
I expect to refer to Jim's episodes more than most, maybe most because how he approaches changing himself is so effective for himself and people around him. It comes from his attitude, the questions he asks himself, how he involves others, and more, all of which he shares. We get to know him in this episode---a regular guy who happens to have been an All-American Wrestling champion and now coaches people to potentials beyond their dreams. We also hear his challenge, which sounds simple, but its unexpected twists will prompt him to show what makes him a leader for whom hardship just prompts him to grow more---skills we can all learn from him.