My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Should I Speak Up About My Client’s Drinking Problem?”. I work in the architecture field as a designer, and I meet with clients in their homes and throughout the construction process to select materials and review designs. Over a period of months or even years, you become very[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “If Two People Claim a Lost Cat, Who Should Get It?”. Driving home late one night, I saw a cat run into the street and get hit by a car. I stopped and picked him up. He had no collar or tag. Our local emergency vet pronounced him[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Should I Forgo Gay Sex to Donate Blood?”. Recently, I’ve become more curious about sex. I never had a relationship in high school and, out of nervousness, declined some opportunities in college. Later, I had two frightening nonconsensual, nonpenetrative encounters. When I sought help, I was advised that[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “How Can I Make My Partner’s Parents More Woke?”. My partner’s parents recently visited us in the relatively diverse area of the Northeast where I was raised and work. I am a first-generation Filipino-American. My partner’s parents grew up in the white suburbia of the Midwest. During their[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Should I Tell My Siblings About Mom’s Affair?”. My mother died 18 years ago. Before she died, she told me about an affair of many years’ duration with a family friend. Learning about this made me re-evaluate my parents’ relationship and the decisions they made. My father is[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “What Do I Owe My Sociopathic Sibling?”. My sibling, who is my only living relative, is currently incarcerated. The crimes committed were quite serious, involving major breaches of trust but not violence. After having been imprisoned for about a decade, my sibling may be released soon. Because of[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Must I Honor My Dad’s Gifts to Political Groups?”. Last summer, I had to tell my father that he had terminal lung cancer. We had an opportunity to make him as comfortable as possible for however much time he might have left, and I encouraged him to focus[…] Keep reading →