My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Is It O.K. for My Wife’s Shrink to Ask Her to Contact Mine?” My wife and I receive counseling at the same mental health facility but from different therapists. Our issues (as individuals and/or as a couple) are probably not what anyone would consider major. My wife tells[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Must I Tell My Boss I’m Absent Because of Mental Illness?” I am in treatment (weekly therapy and a drug regimen) for clinical depression and a panic disorder. They are, for the most part, very well managed. However, even the most well managed mental illness has flare-ups, during[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Must I Warn Renters About Our Racist Neighbors?” I have a rental property, and the neighbors next door are extremely racist. We didn’t know this when we bought the house. We have had both white and Hispanic people as renters. The next-door neighbors harassed the Hispanics until they[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Do I Have to Tell My Father About My #MeToo Experience?” In light of the #MeToo movement and all the people coming forward about sexual assault, my father recently asked my sister if she had ever been assaulted. I myself was assaulted by the son of close family[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Can I Use My Dad’s Connections to Get an Internship?” I’m a college student, and like many college students, I am looking to do an internship. My dad’s previous job was at a company that offers internships in my area of interest. He suggested that I consider interning[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Do I Have to Spring for My Kid to Go to an Elite College?” I dreamed of my daughter attending a “highly selective” university, in part for the door-opening advantages these schools provide. But I recently lost my job, and though my savings can cover my retirement, I[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Should I Tell on My Cheating Classmates?” In middle school, I witnessed three friends cheating on a test when a teacher was not in the room. I reminded them that we were not supposed to collaborate or use a computer to look up answers. They told me to[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “Is It O.K. to Surprise Someone With a Negative Reference?” This spring, my assistant decided to pursue medical school and quit her job so she could take prerequisite courses. She asked me if I would provide her with a reference, to which I agreed. Her work was competent,[…] Keep reading →

My series answering the New York Times’ Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with “What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption?” Many decades ago, I gave up a child in a private adoption. At that time, I was advised never to search for my child (and not even to note the name on the papers),[…] Keep reading →