It’s the new year. Many of us partied last night.
A few nights ago I came back from a friend’s place. A few longtime friends got together to visit. The me of years ago would have found the event boring since we mostly just talked, ate, and drank wine. But, like most of the people in my life, everybody cared about their project, hobbies, etc and we talked about what we cared about, talking to understand each other and to try to help each other.
When I was younger, I went to social events to try to find excitement. I went with people I didn’t know that well. I thought the more people, flashing lights, popular DJs, and so on the more fun we’d have. Of course, I did have good times, but I think the main goal was trying to find something. Maybe others had closer friends than I did since my relationship skills developed only late, when I worked on them, and they connected meaningfully long before I knew how to. But I feel like we were all trying to find something, since the entertainment came from outside of us. Sure we liked the music, the Knicks, or whatever activity we did, but we weren’t actively playing it, we were passively listening. Maybe those who learned to dance or network or whatever earlier than me participated more actively.
When you know more about yourself, your interests, your passions, and so on and you’re involved in projects you created or at least love, you don’t have to try or search. You do what you love and interact with people whose passions lead you to cross paths.
It would be weird to party to get drunk, stay out late, or whatever searching or passive entertainment—not because I’m old or did it too much already, but because I don’t need to look for external reward to entertain me. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy staying out late dancing, just that now I go for deliberate reasons.
All that said, I don’t think I only searched then. I also had great times.
And I had other activities, like starting companies and playing sports.
EDIT: I wrote this post before New Years Eve. A few people asked me if this post meant I stayed in on New Years Eve.
After those times going out, I did make friends, some of whom own and run clubs. I happened to go to a New Years Eve party that evening at a friend’s club and visited with friends behind the DJ booth. I got some fun pictures there despite my phone’s crappy camera and couldn’t help sharing them.
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