A friend who is improving his life hit a change in a relationship that hurt emotionally. For better or worse, I’ve found such challenges and pain an inevitable part of growth and change. Knowing their inevitability helps, but they still hurt.

In writing him back, I found myself voicing a belief that has helped me in such situations — that an easy life of comfort wouldn’t hold a candle to what you can get when you challenge yourself, despite the growing pains. I characterize the easy, comfortable life as sitting on the couch eating ice cream, even granting it never to cause physical or emotional pain. I would never choose it.

Anyway, here are excerpts from my writing him back.

Man do I know that feeling.

If it’s any consolation, since occurrences like yours once or twice, I learned [personal details omitted].

I used to wish life could be as easy as sitting on the couch eating ice cream. Now I’ve found the best parts of life came the hardest, through personal growth and overcoming challenges. Sometimes I feel like shit too, but so did Michael Jordan the years he didn’t win championships. Those are the times I learn and grow. They’re why I would never trade the quality of relationships I now have for an easy life of comfort.

I hope that helps.

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