Focusing on what creates emotional reward is great. If it works for you, you can do better. When something brings you emotional reward, here are two things you can do more than just focusing on it to bring more reward into your life: overindulging in your emotional reward and sharing the reward. Overindulging in reward means if your manager pats you on the back and you feel good about it,[…] Keep reading →

One measure of something worth doing is if you would ever regret it. I’m making a list of things that no one would ever on their deathbed look back and say “I did X too much.” I doubt anyone looked back at their life and said, “I danced too much,” “I sang too much,” or “I played with my nieces and nephews too much.” Can you add to the list?[…] Keep reading →

When you think of deciding, do you think of going toward the choice you decide on? I tend to and I think most others do too. But if deciding is about going toward something we like, why can it be so hard? The –cide in decide is the same -cide as in pesticide, homicide, and suicide — from Latin, meaning cut or kill. However much we think about deciding as[…] Keep reading →

An incredibly useful perspective in some half-baked notes to a friend. I’ll develop them more in future posts. Feedback and criticism appreciated. — You wrote about lying as an example of a “bad trait”. I’d like to suggest another perspective (generalizable from just lying to other aspects of apparent lack of empathy): that the reason people communicate is not to convey truths. Evaluating people according to truths and lies holds[…] Keep reading →

One of the great lessons I learned from my father was that when people talk about how they spend their time, they’re talking about priorities. As he put it, “When people say they don’t have time to do something, they mean they prioritized something else higher. People have time to do anything. The question is if what they put aside to do something.” Internalized over the years, the perspective seems[…] Keep reading →

I have a friend who says he can voluntarily let go of emotions he doesn’t want to hold on to anymore. I’ve let go of many things, but never in the moment from conscious intent. He sounds sincere, but frankly I doubt him. Like telling an angry person to calm down, suggesting someone let go of something is counterproductive advice. Trying to let go of something voluntarily focuses your mind[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on turning rejections into motivation. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Despite ourselves, accepting things can demotivate as much as rejections can motivate us. Physics, at its core, has always meant to me studying the most basic elements of our environment: space,[…] Keep reading →