I noticed something that helps people improve more than almost anything else, at least in myself, people I know, and clients.

Most people trying to change something about themselves, the bigger or more complex, the more they try. The harder they try, they figure, the more they’ll do.

They focus on the new thing they want to do.

The unexpected skill for improving is not to try harder with the new thing you’re trying to do, but to let go of the old thing you’re trying to replace.

Here’s a model that might help:

If you’re trying to change your clothing style, getting rid of your old clothes will change you faster than getting new clothes, because you’ll still end up wearing whatever old clothes you keep. But you can’t wear clothes you’ve already given away.

The same goes for behaviors and beliefs.

So for whatever new behavior or belief you’re trying to adopt, see what old ones you can get rid of first.

• ← The limits of what you can achieve
• Choosing your beliefs; a life and death example →