“Women are more emotional than men.” “Men are more rational than women.” I hear such statements all the time. I think they are nonsense that only reveal that the person saying them doesn’t understand emotions.

A reader emailed me about Tuesday’s post that mild emotions are still emotions and requested I “continue the insightful thread on emotional-based behavior on the blog.” I’m not sure if this post qualifies, but I meant to follow up on that post with this one.

Since all emotions are still emotions then everyone not dead feels emotions their whole waking life. Someone’s emotions may be more or less intense or immediate, but they still feel them, even if subtle or not pressing. Someone exercising logic or reason isn’t being unemotional, they are exercising different emotions than emotions we might call passionate.

In particular, emotions men feel are not lesser emotions than those women do. Emotions women feel are not greater. I’ll grant that men and women feel different emotions, though most are the same. That is, put a mango in front of anyone, male or female, and they’ll want to eat it. But men and women will generally feel different emotions and behave differently when you put, say, a puppy in front of them.

Men beat each other up in bars much more than women, later realizing they lost control along the way. Men feel emotions just as continually as women. They can be just as overwhelmed by them. They can be just as out of control.

I consider this perspective more accurate and I consider accuracy in expressing yourself essential to understanding yourself and therefore improving yourself.

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