Search Results for: don't look for blame

Deciding right and wrong for others and causing them guilt and blame doesn’t help anyone

on May 8, 2012 in Blog, Leadership, Tips

Prelude: this is about leadership (of others and yourself) Yesterday I outlined an essay on the counterproductivity of deciding right and wrong for people who disagree with you. Today I’m fleshing out the essay. The point of this blog is to help people lead — to influence others, to work with them in teams, to negotiate with them, and so on — even when you disagree. So I’ll leave deciding[…] Keep reading →

On the counterproductivity of motivating people with guilt and blame — aka moralizing

on May 5, 2012 in Awareness, Blog, Freedom, Leadership, Tips

I liked Michael Pollan‘s Omnivore’s Dilemma, which people have suggested I read for years. I like his perspective on food and “food.” I don’t intend for the following to detract from his overall message, but his chapter 17, “The Ethics of Eating Animals,” makes a great example for leadership. Leadership means motivating others, which means changing their emotions. Few of us like when others motivate us with guilt or blame,[…] Keep reading →

Depressions don’t make you depressed

on March 11, 2012 in Blog, Freedom, Tips

A lot of people equate a depressed economy with emotional depression. The two uses of “depress” have nothing to do with each other. They can, if you connect them, but they don’t have to. If feel connected to you, they do because you connected them. But you can just as well make yourself happy or unhappy when business is growing or shrinking. Economic depressions don’t make you depressed. Nor do[…] Keep reading →

Goodbye guilt and blame, VI

on May 7, 2011 in Awareness, Blog, Tips

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] This post summarizes and completes my thread on guilt and blame (edit: I added another post on the topic). The first few posts covered where guilt and blame come[…] Keep reading →

Goodbye guilt and blame, V

on April 29, 2011 in Awareness, Blog

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] My past three posts on guilt and blame have been about beliefs and models. Now let’s look at behaviors to solidify and augment that change. Belief without behavior doesn’t[…] Keep reading →

Goodbye guilt and blame, III

on April 26, 2011 in Blog

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Two days ago I wrote at a high level about getting rid of guilt and blame. Yesterday I wrote about understanding others’ emotions of guilt and blame. Today, let’s[…] Keep reading →

Goodbye guilt and blame, II

on April 25, 2011 in Blog

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Yesterday I introduced the topic of getting rid of guilt and blame by understanding the emotions and replacing them with more productive ones. Today, let’s look at them from[…] Keep reading →

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