[This post is part of a series on willpower and how to understand and use it. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Understanding willpower requires understanding emotions functionally, so let’s start there. A functional perspective isn’t the only way to view emotions — exploring and communicating how they feel[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on willpower and how to understand and use it. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] I’ll be starting what I expect to be a four or five part series on willpower. The series should give an understanding of what willpower is and[…] Keep reading →

Two thoughts to follow up my post from two days ago: Where you get energy. First, after mentioning I was mystified by people who used the same excuses not to dance that I used to dance, I should mention that before my dancing friends got me to go dancing the first time, I would have used any excuse to avoid dancing too. I didn’t know how to dance and was[…] Keep reading →

“I love to do X, but I’m not good at it” or “I think I’d love X, but I can’t do it.” Such common excuses not to do something. People just stop thinking or motivating themselves after saying that. Result? Even as they watch others have the times of their lives, they don’t sing, they don’t go to the gym, they don’t dance, they don’t get on stage, they don’t[…] Keep reading →

Want to have more energy to do things? I’ll demonstrate how how much energy you have to do something rarely has to do with how much energy you have. When I used to go dancing every Friday night I would look forward to the excitement of seeing friends, listening to great music, dressing up, etc. The friends I went out with looked forward to it too. I was mystified by[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] My past three posts on guilt and blame have been about beliefs and models. Now let’s look at behaviors to solidify and augment that change. Belief without behavior doesn’t[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Two days ago I suggested that we all believe we don’t try to hurt others and therefore should give others the same benefit of the doubt, even if we[…] Keep reading →