Who likes feeling bad, burdened with emotions we not only don’t like, but that, if we act on them, make our lives worse? Yet sometimes countering them with their opposites makes things worse still. For example, trying to calm down when you’re angry, especially if someone else tells you to do it, often makes one angrier. Many emotions have complements that are more effective than opposites in dispelling them. I[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] One last tip for the guilt and blame series, perhaps the most empowering. What do you do when others attempt to blame you or make you feel guilty? Most[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] This post summarizes and completes my thread on guilt and blame (edit: I added another post on the topic). The first few posts covered where guilt and blame come[…] Keep reading →

Here’s some great news: you never observe or sense your world directly. Besides having limited and imperfect senses and a fading memory, your expectations influence all your observations. These limitations are not problems. On the contrary, you can use them to improve your life. After all, a good life (whatever that means to you) doesn’t come from more information or accuracy. There is infinite information and your brain is finite,[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] My past three posts on guilt and blame have been about beliefs and models. Now let’s look at behaviors to solidify and augment that change. Belief without behavior doesn’t[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Two days ago I wrote at a high level about getting rid of guilt and blame. Yesterday I wrote about understanding others’ emotions of guilt and blame. Today, let’s[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Yesterday I introduced the topic of getting rid of guilt and blame by understanding the emotions and replacing them with more productive ones. Today, let’s look at them from[…] Keep reading →