An attendee’s stellar review of my webinar: Life-Changing Habits Even (Especially) Under Lock-Down

May 21, 2020 by Joshua
in Freedom, Habits, SIDCHAs

An attendee of my webinar, Life-Changing Habits Even (Especially) Under Lock-Down, wrote how it affected her life already (spoiler: positively, beyond expectations, and in areas she had plateaued).

Read her email below. Below the email I link to her writing. So you can experience the webinar too, here’s the video of it:


Dear Josh, 

Thank you so much for your email and for connecting with me further. In response to your invitation:

Webinar

I thought that the webinar was excellent—thank you for inviting me. I got so many insights from it but the number one most important gift it gave me was the concept of mental freedom.

I must admit that I didn’t have a lightbulb moment during the webinar, I’d heard the discipline equals freedom message from Jocko Willink before and it resonated but didn’t quite click. However, after I read your email and let it percolate I understood what the concept of mental freedom meant on a much deeper level. It also felt like you reached into my brain and with laser-like precision, found the root cause of my inconsistency.

I didn’t consciously realise how much time and energy I spent thinking habitually thinking whatever thoughts were relevant for me at that time and trying to remember them. Somehow the effort of getting out my phone and jotting the notes down seemed insurmountable and so I didn’t. Consequently, I kept automatically returning to those thoughts and as you say, that leaves little room for new creative insights to appear. You will be pleased to know that I am writing this email now while looking at my notes that I have been jotting down as and when they’ve come to me over the past few days!

The second thing that hit home about mental freedom was deciding once and being done with it. I have wasted countless hours bargaining with myself about whether I could do something or if I don’t do it, then how will I make up for it tomorrow etc… When it comes to food I meta-think on top of this as well, e.g. “I’ve decided not to eat any more desert, but am I really going to follow through with it?” and only having relief from that thought of “will I/won’t I” when I am in bed that evening. All of this is coming from a person who has a healthy relationship with food. 

Interestingly over the past week, I started calorie counting everything I eat and I’ve found it has given me so much mental freedom. The physical hassle of weighing everything out is nothing compared to the turmoil of mental wondering and bargaining. Once my calorie budget for the day has been spent, I stop eating. One decision and it’s done.

TEDx Talk

[Edit from Josh: scroll down for the TEDx talk she refers to]

I would never normally watch a TED Talk about the environment. Of course, I care about our planet, but I also think that my personal actions won’t make much difference. I’ve also decided not to have children and so I think that this plus recycling is probably a sufficient contribution! 

Giving the talk in a way that helps the audience focus on something meaningful to them and not just abstract global warming, helped me to engage more deeply. I realised that my sledding hill is going on walks with my dog. I love these moments, they are a welcome break from my screen filled day and I really do appreciate the beauty and diversity of nature. I also love seeing my dog happy and joyful running on the grass, sniffing and playing—it never fails to make me smile. 

So I thought that a fitting action might be picking up another dog’s poo when I see some. My partner said that he thought it was a nice idea, but it doesn’t technically help the environment, so I am also going to supplement it with picking up litter when I see it. This is also meaningful for me in another way as my mum is a die-hard litter picker-upper. I would constantly be embarrassed by her doing it when I was growing up, but the next time she sees me (hopefully in the not too distant future) I will have my gloves on too and join her.

So far in my neighbourhood, I have not seen any litter but I have picked up two other dog’s poos. I wonder if I’m going to think of you every time I see some dog poo now! It’s certainly an interesting marketing tactic!

SIDCHA

I’m 9 days into my SIDCHA so it’s too early to report back yet but I will put it in my calendar to give you an update! I’m a writer (can you tell?!) and I write a lot about sex and relationships. My SIDCHA is therefore a little unconventional, but it’s designed to help me improve the most important relationship I have, the one with myself.

Once again, I would like to say thank you, Josh, for your time, insights and contribution. It felt wonderfully auspicious that we initially connected when I was doing (and completed!) a 30-day diary challenge. The quote comes to mind, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. Well, I’ve still got lots to learn and I’ve not even bought or read your books yet!

I am sorry (not sorry) for the massively long email – you did say you wanted to hear my thoughts 🙂

Ali M.

The top of Ali’s Medium page

The TEDx talk she refers to:

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