Longtime readers may know that when I lived for a year in Paris in 1990-91, I was an au pair. I lived with a family and took care of their young daughter. It was a wonderful opportunity for all.
I don’t know if you can tell from the pictures below, but my neighborhood library is a popular place for young kids in strollers, taken there by adults. As far as I can tell, all the adults are not the parents of the kids. I think they are all nannies.
I haven’t met any of them, but they are all women.
I don’t know about you, but my world is filled with calls for equality in professions that are segregated by sex. A big call is for more women in technology fields and in executive rolls in all fields. If a tech company like Google or Apple, or any firm seeking to hire an executive, claims there aren’t enough qualified candidates, I hear many voices saying that that excuse is not acceptable and that they should find them.
USNanny.org reports “make up only 1% of caregivers in the United States.” That’s as great a sexist divide as any field. The page continues, “However, men are just as capable caregivers as women and male nannies, lovingly referred as a ‘Manny,’ are in growing demand.”
What’s with the fake name, manny? Should we call female executives girl-ecutives, or female engineers gal-gineers? Not if we consider them equal.
Where are the calls for more male nannies?
What do you think of when you think of a man taking care of a baby girl?
Would you as a parent hire a nanny who was male?
Why do you think there aren’t more males taking care of babies and young children?
Do you think children would benefit from more adult males? How about even one?
The only adult male these kids in the library see, besides guys like me walking past them but not interacting, is the security guard. Wouldn’t they benefit from other male role models than a security guard, especially who care for them and the other babies there?
Why isn’t the issue of more male nannies (or teachers, nurses, etc) as great an issue as female executives or coders?
I suspect many parents would fear leaving their children with an adult male. Is that fear sexism?
What else could it be? Is it justified?
Read nearly any page on male nannies and you will see the term “stereotype.” Many will also say “predator.” Many will say, wishfully, “It’s growing, lots of people want them,” mostly calling attention to their lack.
They also say that some boys prefer male caregivers. Is that distinction more sexism? If not, why not? Does it make a difference if corporate boards of directors prefer male CEOs?
Are men and women different in the workforce?
If you believe parental fear is justified, if you would prefer a female nanny, does that preference and justification mean you believe there are differences between men and women in the workplace? If so, doesn’t that mean we should expect men and women to perform differently, want to work in different fields, and deserve different pay?
If people of different sexes don’t deserve different pay, why not press for male nannies as much as female coders? Do you think coders are more important than nannies? I don’t.
Nannies don’t earn as much as coders, but the job is accessible. Most of the nannies at the library could help many men get a foothold in a new area. Being an au pair made my stay in Paris possible, but if whatever parental preference makes 99 percent of positions closed to men, holds, few men can benefit from it.
It seems to me that that preference is sexism. If you believe otherwise, it seems to me that you believe men and women perform differently at different jobs, which would justify different fields having different sex ratios and pay. Did I miss anything? I’d welcome being told otherwise.
If you believe in equality and you have ever voiced an opinion about women being deprived of opportunities and industries keeping women out, what have you said about male nannies?
The disparity stares me in the face at the library.
Some men would be great nannies and they should not be discriminated against. But that doesn’t mean that the ideal ratio of men to women nannies is 50:50. Women are naturally more inclined to be child caregivers. Men are not naturally more inclined to be coders or CEOs.
The question is, what would be the ratio if there was no discrimination? There is evidence that women are more naturally inclined to be coders than men. I worked as a coder, btw, and was probably discriminated against but there’s no way to prove it.
I agree on differences in interest and ability for taking care of infants between men and women, which I hoped people would read between the lines. Still, men shouldn’t be discriminated against. While not a representative sample, a few friends who are parents say they would fear leaving their children alone with men, especially men who went out of their way to spend time with children. I respect their fear but I fear there is bigotry mixed in that amounts to sexism. I think it would be healthy for our culture to face and consider that bigotry and sexism as much as any other sexism. Likewise for men in nursing. Likewise for industries like construction and deep-sea fishing to reach parity.
I can’t tell how we’d know what ratio people would like. It depends on culture.
Thanks for sharing.