A couple weeks ago I attended the 20 year reunion for my earning an MBA at Columbia Business School.

It’s been decades since I applied. I can’t help sharing posts from when I applied, since the period between when I considered applying and when I started was 23 days. Here are posts on that process:

• I started at an Ivy League business school 23 days after deciding to apply. Here’s how.
• My background for getting into an Ivy League business school in 23 days
• My essays for getting into an Ivy League business school in 23 days

Three things struck me at the reunion. Actually, more than three but I’ll write about three.

Business school was not what I feared

Long before considering applying, I saw business in general as more about profit and taking. Co-founding Submedia changed that view in a few ways. First, I learned that if I can’t force you to buy my product, I have to make it worth more to you than the money I charge. Maybe many people learned that principle growing up, but I didn’t.

Next, reading Getting to Yes changed my view about negotiation and deals from being about winning to finding mutually beneficial agreements, which required learning more about the other person. I preferred for people I negotiated with to have read the book, the opposite of my expectation about negotiation before, where I would think the less prepared the other person the more I could get from them.

Next, I worked with people who taught at the business school and who had MBAs. I valued my relationships with them. I learned from them. When they recommended I consider an MBA I took them seriously.

I audited classes at the business school and learned from them.

Business school was incredibly social

I participated in social activities before business school, but business school took socializing to another level. Everyone wanted to meet everyone else, not just to exchange business cards. People wanted to meet each other and learn how they could interact. Anyone could walk up to anyone, start talking, and expect the other person to reciprocate.

I still hadn’t learned social skills, so I felt shy and reserved. I felt I didn’t belong, at least at first. Over time I got more accustomed to it, though not as much as I wish I could have given that environment.

I thought of this point because I felt that culture at the reunion and noticed I hadn’t felt one to that extent since. I missed it. I’m not saying it was the be all and end all of the school, but man it felt good to be able to talk to anyone. I wish that culture existed in more other places.

Come to think of it, a couple communities I participate in were like it:

• Summit
• Renaissance Weekend
• Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO)
• Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO)

Though EO and YPO I’ve only spoken at their events, not been a member.

Business school wasn’t just about finance and corporations

I thought business school was about corporations, especially finance. It can be, especially at a school so close to Wall Street, not that Wall Street exists as it used to, but Columbia also focused on small business, family business, entrepreneurship, and leadership, which applies to many areas.

I learned that I could learn social and emotional skills. I could evolve my identity.

Before business school, I had no idea that someone could learn to lead—that is, could learn social and emotional skills. I thought you had them or you didn’t, end of story. Martin Luther King could speak that way and I couldn’t so I couldn’t lead as he did, or so I believed.

To be precise, business school classes taught me that I could change in principle, but we didn’t practice the skills. I did later, which led to my starting to coach leadership. It didn’t take long before I found myself coaching c-suite officers from publicly traded companies, who expressed gratitude for my services.

Summary

I went from a fairly bigoted view based in ignorance to finding the experience one of the most important of my life. The reunion prompted me to reflect on the change it had on my life. Instead of becoming more focused on money or winning, I became more social and emotionally aware, interested in helping serve people, which required learning about them, which required opening up myself and conveying nonjudgmental support.

I commented to people at the reunion how important the experience was for me. I asked if it was as important to them. Several said yes, though not all. I’m glad I had the experience of the school and glad that the reunion prompted the reflection.

I don’t know if business school is right for everyone, but I recommend it if you’re like I was.