My father once said to me (paraphrasing) When someone says they have time for something or not, they aren’t talking about time, they’re talking about priorities. Everyone has time for what they want to do. If they say they don’t have time, it means something else is more important. That observation has been one of the most valuable lessons I learned from him. Since then whenever someone (including myself) has[…] Keep reading →

Here is a mental exercise I like and find effective in learning to empathize and understand people better. It costs nothing and requires no preparation, but it can be personally challenging, but it develops you as a person. The exercise is to see how diverse behavior in others you can explain without relying on saying someone else has different motivations than you do. The more you can explain their behavior,[…] Keep reading →

With my ability to announce my posts blocked by the Chinese government, now’s my chance to indulge in a selfish post without destroying my modesty, since fewer people will find out about it. A few months ago I had the most amazing dream. It even impressed me. Somehow I dreamt about this: It’s called a continued fraction. I know I’d seen the fraction before. I don’t remember if anyone showed[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I wrote about an alternative model for solving problems to the prevalent model that you need to find and solve their root causes to be effective. The alternative — the burning building model to solving problems — says that if you can think of something that will improve the situation, acting on it will help. If you’ve used the dandelion model for a long time, you may believe it[…] Keep reading →

Many people have a counterproductive yet common model for solving their problems. If you use it, you’re holding yourself back from a better life. There’s an alternative, however, which I’ll write about below too. The Dandelion Model I call it the “dandelion model” because it’s based on the idea that to get rid of a dandelion, you have to get to its roots. If you don’t, it will grow back.[…] Keep reading →

Continuing the theme on flexibility in your beliefs giving you freedom, contributing to your intelligence, and attracting people, I’ll continue about ways to increase that flexibility. Yesterday covered using a prevalent ad campaign to help develop non-judgmental acceptance of other people’s beliefs and changing your own. By the way, by accepting other people’s beliefs, I don’t mean necessarily agreeing with them, just accepting that they have them and understanding them.[…] Keep reading →

I’ll build on yesterday’s post on changing your perspective to make it easier to change your perspective with a post I’ve been meaning to write for a while. Airports around the world are full of an ad campaign that provide another great exercise in enabling changing your perspective. Flexibility in changing your perspective is one of the most important tools in changing your world, creating freedom for yourself, and in[…] Keep reading →

Flexibility in changing your beliefs and perspectives is one of the more important skills in improving your life. It’s also a major component of intelligence, one psychologist told me. In my seminars and with clients, it’s one of the more challenging skills to develop, though easy with practice. Like most challenges, the way to master it is to start easy and build. Look for all the opportunities you can to[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I posted on making four-year-olds sing that they love something, accepting it was probably a tempest in a teacup. I also noted similar incidents may contribute to reinforcing what seems to me telling children what to think and feel. The incident reminded me of Woodie Guthrie‘s writing “This Land Is Your Land” as a response to hearing “God Bless America” over and over in the late 30s, implying these[…] Keep reading →