After three posts on avoiding expressing judgment, I should clarify I don’t suggest never expressing judgment. Here are a few cases where I express judgment. Judging myself: using my criteria to evaluate myself doesn’t deprecate others’ values, for example, writing “I should clarify” above. I do take care to notice my values change, particularly when evaluating myself in the past (see my series Goodbye guilt and blame for more on[…] Keep reading →

A reader wrote, in response to Friday’s post “How to stop being so judgmental,” Thanks Joshua for the insight on judgement. I have used less negative words and have already replaced them with a more positive intake on certain topics to avoid negativity. By doing so, I have noticed a more positive reaction from peers and friends, which leads to more productive outakes on actions in a general sense. Thanks![…] Keep reading →

Another reason for yesterday’s post on avoiding acting judgmentally came from a project some people told me about called E-prime. From Wikipedia E-Prime is a version of the English language that excludes all forms of the verb to be. Hence, E-Prime allows neither conjugations of to be (am, are, is, was, were, be, been, being), nor archaic forms (e.g. art, wast, wert), nor contractions (‘s, ‘m, ‘re). Some scholars advocate[…] Keep reading →

Nobody likes feeling judged. We don’t like other people feeling so high and mighty as to judge us. I bet you’re more judgmental than you realize. Here’s how to raise your awareness of it, reduce it, annoy people less, and share more about yourself. I bet you don’t realize how judgmental you seem to others, even if you don’t intend it. Nor, I bet, do people making you feel judged[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday’s post described how interacting with a former Austrian soldier, now friend’s grandfather led me to examine my values. Such interactions lead you to expand your understanding of others and of humanity as well. Let’s understand the situation. Comparing people to Nazis has become an internet joke (perhaps insightful) called Godwin’s Law. This situation isn’t that. This man was a Nazi foot soldier, proud of some aspects of it. I’m[…] Keep reading →

You may think you know your values. Until you test them, you probably don’t. Understanding their boundaries helps you understand them better. Testing them in controlled situations prepares you for surprises others aren’t prepared for. Preparation like that makes for effective leadership of yourself and others. If you never plan to reach any boundaries, you may not expect to benefit from examining them. But then if you never examine them,[…] Keep reading →

Many people have a counterproductive yet common model for solving their problems. If you use it, you’re holding yourself back from a better life. There’s an alternative, however, which I’ll write about below too. The Dandelion Model I call it the “dandelion model” because it’s based on the idea that to get rid of a dandelion, you have to get to its roots. If you don’t, it will grow back.[…] Keep reading →