[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you like feeling guilty or doing things that make you feel guilt? Do you find blaming people improves your life? Not likely. Would you prefer alternatives that don’t[…] Keep reading →
An insult says more about the insulter than the insultee. People usually look like the insulter is saying something about the insultee. Usually not. An insult expresses the insulter’s emotions, directed at what brought them about. For example, if someone is insecure about their body and they see someone with a body they’d be insecure with, they might insult that person to try to feel more secure or deflect others[…] Keep reading →
This morning put me on the receiving end of someone treating me well in what otherwise would have been a difficult situation, revealing why the advice from my first “How do you decrease stress?” post works so well for me. I mis-timed an appointment. I spoke to the guy I was meeting about ten minutes after it was supposed to have started and arrived twenty minutes after that. He was[…] Keep reading →
April 5 and 7, 6-10pm at the New York Academy of Sciences I will be giving my seminar on Leadership and Personal Success — the best seminar you’ll ever attend. It’s similar to the leadership seminar at Columbia Business School in December, but more science-y and less business-y. Here’s the background from the NYAS web page (where you can register): Leadership and personal success through self-awareness and emotional intelligence are[…] Keep reading →
A friend posted on another forum about “feeling weighted” about a few recent relationships in which women felt hurt afterward. Since he had asked for advice, I gave him some, copied below. Sorry it’s out of context, but that forum is private. Some background: this response came after a couple posts stating and clarifying the issues. Not everything resonated with him, but he said he found the two paragraphs preceding[…] Keep reading →
The Worst problem In The World is two people with different standards who don’t realize their standards differ evaluating each other and acting on their evaluation. This is not hyperbole. Think of a recent news headline involving conflict. It was probably a variation of The Worst Problem In The World. Many significant conflicts in the world are either solvable or are variations of The Worst Problem In The World. Many[…] Keep reading →
Do you or people you know get stuck “winning” arguments only to find they’ve annoyed or alienated people around them? It’s hard to do anything about it because when people aren’t arguing they tend to feel they don’t do it — that only others do. And when they are arguing they’re often least open to exiting argument mode into self-reflection mode. A scene in The Big Lebowski that illustrates the[…] Keep reading →