“Josh, I really want to do X, but I can’t. Things are too complicated right now.” “I’m so stressed because my life is so complicated right now.” “I wish my life were simpler so I could enjoy it.” “So-and-so is making my life complicated!” We’ve all heard it before. Most of us have probably said it. Complication is like beauty — a subjective opinion of the observer — not like[…] Keep reading →

(Some details TBD, but mark your calendars. The room is beautiful and centrally located. Please contact me with any questions. I’ll update details as they are determined.)   LEADERSHIP THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE At a time when businesses and business schools seek to learn from designers and design schools seek to prepare “students to be leaders in their professions and society”, cross-pollination between communities over common interests is as[…] Keep reading →

Who likes feeling bad, burdened with emotions we not only don’t like, but that, if we act on them, make our lives worse? Yet sometimes countering them with their opposites makes things worse still. For example, trying to calm down when you’re angry, especially if someone else tells you to do it, often makes one angrier. Many emotions have complements that are more effective than opposites in dispelling them. I[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] One last tip for the guilt and blame series, perhaps the most empowering. What do you do when others attempt to blame you or make you feel guilty? Most[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on overcoming guilt and blame for good. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] This post summarizes and completes my thread on guilt and blame (edit: I added another post on the topic). The first few posts covered where guilt and blame come[…] Keep reading →

The past two days covered the how we can be judgmental without meaning it — first with clearly judgmental language, then with implicitly judgmental words. Today let’s look at exercises to change. My normal first step for change is to start by building awareness. In this case, changing builds awareness so much and the exercises are so easy (they don’t involve anyone else), I recommend just starting with the change.[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I wrote about how we often judge people implicitly without realizing — often a repellent behavior — and one class of implicitly judgmental language. The second class of implicitly judgmental language is when you make value judgments without realizing it. Here are a few examples: “People on the left say X. People on the right say Y. I’m not political about it, I’m practical and I look for a[…] Keep reading →