When I teach and coach basics, someone in the audience always wants to know about some advanced application of the material. I understand why they ask. When you’re learning the footwork to dance salsa, you really want to do the fancy spin moves, so you ask about that. The great dancers concentrate on their footwork, though. The masters seem always to suggest sticking with the basics. I find that the[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, ”Should I Lend Money to My Irresponsible Parents?” My parents mismanaged their finances to the point of bankruptcy several years ago and are now in pretty significant mortgage arrears. Foreclosure looms. They seem to believe that[…] Keep reading →

Following up yesterday’s post, “How lecturing is the opposite of how we learn,” on the counterproductivity of lecturing… What does it mean to teach someone? It seems to me something like you want someone to see things the way you do—to believe what you believe. The dictionary says it means to impart knowledge, not just facts. It’s similar to influencing someone. If you want someone to see things the way[…] Keep reading →

Think of a big lesson you learned. Think of all the big life lessons you learned. Rarely do big life lessons come from someone telling you the answer. You learn them from experience. I suspect you’re like me, in that you go through life, constantly learning, constantly refining your understanding of the world. If so, you understand the world based on your experience. You develop a philosophy and how to[…] Keep reading →