When Donald Trump was first elected President ten years ago, since I didn’t know many Trump voters, I posted in the column I wrote then with Inc.com, “If You Voted for Trump, Let’s Meet.“

The post led to several conversations with Trump voters across the US. I found the conversations informative and lovely.

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How could people who promoted compassion and tolerance so much be so mean?

One comment that one Trump voter said stuck with me. She lived in San Francisco, where nearly everyone she knew disliked Trump. Many despised him. She told me she had to hide her voting choice out of fear of social repercussions. Yet all these people who attacked Trump voters with disdain claimed to value compassion and tolerance.

Her comment: “How could people who promoted compassion and tolerance so much be so mean?“

I had thought people on the left were compassionate and tolerant. Since then I’ve noticed how mean and intolerant they can be. One person in a group I volunteered with that served free food to destitute, often homeless people—a group with many people of nonbinary sexuality and very left politics—knocked a hat off a woman who had come for food because the hat was a bright red MAGA hat. The woman may have been homeless. She was certainly poor enough to go out of her way for free food.

In other words, the person who knocked the hat off violated the body of a down-and-out woman (of color, no less) seeking help, committing assault (or battery). That person probably felt self-righteous in committing this crime, on a person exercising her right to free speech.

Fast forward to the other day when a friend’s newsletter linked to the video below, “Leslie Jones Fixes Male Loneliness One Toxic Podcast and Toy Girlfriend at a Time,” from the Daily Show, with the comment, “Hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣”.

I don’t think Jones and the Daily Show could get votes for Trump and his allies any more effectively. I see her as mean, lacking compassion, intolerant, wallowing in being at the top of the dominance hierarchy of liberal media, and incredibly sexist. She couldn’t be more smug, and the audience couldn’t respond more approvingly.

As I wrote in my post We respond differently when society conflicts with men versus with women:

When society conflicts with men, we say men have to change or take responsibility.

When society conflicts with women, we say society has to change and we all have to take responsibility.

I’m not saying men are innocent and the influencers she quoted are mean too. In no way do I support them, but there are many man suffering and her routine exhibits someone at the top of a dominance hierarchy punching down at people who she acts as if are above her, but haven’t been in years. Many men are dumped on by society. When women are dumped on similarly, Jones and the Daily Show would try to help them, or at least understand them and look for ways society contributed to the situation.

When men suffer, she blames the victim. She starts off by noting that men are lonely—a situation that’s sad. They don’t want to be lonely. She attacks them and makes fun of them.

Then she berates men for not approaching women. Does she want sexual equality? Why not berate women for not approaching men? She said approaching women is easy. I’ve been rejected. It hurts.

Her joke that women “have one button that you need to figure out how to press,” seems to me to implicate women. Men don’t have that button. Women do. How does a man “figure out how to press” it on his own?

I get all her jokes. I understand why people laugh at them. They’re still mean. I could go on. The video doesn’t have much redeeming it.

Do they realize they’re pushing men and women who love them to vote against them? I don’t know if they could generate more votes for conservatives if they tried.

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How can they not see how their insensitivity is driving votes against them and their interests?

• ← The last Christmas Pagan Tree of the season?