George Washington, Andrew Jackson, and Jesus Christ didn’t have kids, but JD Vance said about “people without children,” that “How does it make any sense that we’ve turned our country over to people who don’t really have a direct stake in it?”
I guess Vance isn’t a fan of Washington or Christ, though he was referring at the time to Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, and AOC as leaders of the Democrat party. If he disagrees with their politics, that’s his prerogative, but why the venom against people without children? Why the claim that people without children are less connected to humanity’s future?
[EDIT: I had the idea to write this post months, maybe years ago. I kept not writing it because I wasn’t sure it would resonate with others. But I kept getting messages like it. I can’t tell you how many times I get messages, and not just from politicians trying to get points over their rivals. So as much as I held back on writing it, people kept saying how nonparents are less connected to our future.
So I wrote it. Now it’s the next day and, on reflection, it seems more venting than productive. So I’m putting this edit in to say it’s mostly initial thoughts, more reactive than my full thoughts. I’ll probably follow up with another, more reflective post.]
He’s speaking out of ignorance. I get it all the time. I don’t have kids, as far as I know, and I act out of love for humanity and our future more than any of the people I hear the insults from.
If you understand, as I learned from my mentor Frances Hesselbein, that work is love made visible, you can see what many people who hardly try to reduce their pollution and depletion hurting the health, safety, and security of future generations call “extreme” is love.
If you’ve learned that when people insult, they are usually talking about themselves, the claim that parents have more connection to humanity’s future implies some insecurity on their part, or maybe inadequacy. They know they are hurting them by polluting and depleting. Then here’s this guy—me—who is helping their children’s future more than they are, empowering them where they say they are powerless.
Possibly Vance’s insecurity comes from his being surrounded by people promoting Jesus while his wife is Hindu. He’s Catholic, whom Protestants have historically fought wars against. Two Catholic Presidents were JFK and Biden, whom Vance despises, as best I can tell. His religion is led by Popes who are mostly childless, though according to Wikipedia’s List of sexually active popes, many of them
- Fathered illegitimate children before holy orders
- Were known to or suspected of having fathered illegitimate children after receiving holy orders
- Were alleged to be sexually active during pontificate
- Had sexual relationships with men
I personally support his life choices and faith, and I suspect he’s a wonderful husband and father, but is there any doubt that his peers talk about him, his wife, and his children behind his back, and that he hears some of it? He knows it’s public talk. I can imagine that talk triggers insecurity, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy.
Not about Vance in particular
My point isn’t about Vance or politics, but the bigotry from ignorant parents, whom I distinguish from non-ignorant parents who aren’t bigoted.
About Love
I can understand why parents might think I can’t love as much as they do. I remember the first time I saw and held my first newborn nephew. I was shocked with the intensity of emotion, but knew it couldn’t have come close to what my sister and brother-in-law felt. I expect that parents who feel that greater feeling conclude that they feel a greater love than nonparents.
Plus, beyond the initial intensity is the long-term work. They took care of him and their other kids for years.
Their emotional intensity and duration doesn’t mean that others can’t feel as much. Religious people also feel great emotional intensity and duration. We all share the same emotional system. They don’t have any greater capacity for love or any other emotion than anyone else.
You’re probably not one of the bigoted people who speak out of ignorance, but if you see any of my behavior as “extreme,” imagine someone feeling just as much love as any parent, a love borne of action, work, caring, and learning, developed over decades.
Why do you think I work so hard? For the past? For the present? For nothing? For myself? Nothing adds up except love for humanity. Since I’m working harder at actually living by the Constitution that Vance swore to uphold, should I conclude I love humanity more than he does? I don’t conclude so, but I can’t imagine I love humanity or work for our future any less than any parent.
Philadelphia roots
With a title for the post from one of the biggest early hip-hop songs, which I suspect was bigger in Philadelphia, where Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff are from. It’s my home town and where I was in high school when it came out.
