People living contrary to their values say bizarre things
I was talking to someone who pollutes more than most people while being aware of environmental problems. She bought a luxury SUV and flies around for fun. She compares herself to people who pollute and deplete more and says, “I’m not as bad as them” and concludes that she’s one of the good ones—which doesn’t follow, logically.
In the course of conversation, she said about her unsustainable practices, “. . . I don’t do things the way you want me to.”
What a bizarre way to put it. I don’t want people to steal or murder, but I hope the reason people don’t steal or murder is to avoid hurting other people, especially innocent ones. It would be weird to avoid stealing and murdering to comply with my values.
Likewise, I hope the reason people avoid polluting and depleting is to avoid hurting other people, especially innocent ones. It seems weird to avoid hurting people to comply with my values.
What’s going on
She values not hurting other people, especially innocent ones, but wants to keep acting in ways that hurt others. Rather than changing her behavior, she rationalizes and justifies that her polluting, depleting actions don’t hurt anyone, also known as denial.
Rather than face her own conscience, she convinces herself that the guilt she feels because of her conscience is coming from someone else. This misattribution partly assuages her feelings of guilt but mostly distracts her from resolving her inner conflict.
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