Whenever I read about how today’s world is moving faster, competition is greater, people are more separated, more together, or whatever superlative that supposedly sets our time different than any other, I think of this quote Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the[…] Keep reading →

A client asked how to find your passion (in the context of relationships, as you’ll see). I wrote the following (slightly edited). ——————————– You don’t find some single latent passion within you, if only you can find it. You create it. What is passion? It’s powerful emotion. Emotion doesn’t come from out there. It comes from in here. How do you create something in here? Not by looking out there.[…] Keep reading →

If you like improving your life enough to read my stuff, you probably know about a study (probably one of many) that found that people who won the lottery and people who had accidents that left them in wheelchairs both returned to the same emotional levels a year later. What do you conclude from such results? How much can we misunderstand ourselves if winning the lottery doesn’t help out lives?[…] Keep reading →

Sometimes it seems like everyone I talk to hears about burpees. I enjoy them. Doing them fills my life with the emotions they support — friendship, freedom, and motivation. I talk to people about leadership, nature, science, curiosity, and so on. I tell people how I figure things out after I analyze things. All these things make me feel good. Sharing these things — by sharing I mean communicating and[…] Keep reading →

I’ve written before on the persuasive but specious rhetorical trick that goes something like John is very conservative about these things. Mary is very liberal. Me, I’m practical and… Do you sense that you’re probably going to agree with what the speaker next says? Extremists like John and Mary are difficult to deal with. People reject extreme views out of hand. You don’t want to be like that, do you?[…] Keep reading →

A client asked about something in his personal life. He does things one way that most parts of society do differently. To be clear, his way harmed no one and was in no way illegal, but he was concerned that people who learned about it might freak out. Sorry I have to keep the details to a minimum, but we all recognize his situation is universal. We all have things[…] Keep reading →

Almost daily I face what I see as the key misunderstanding between how to lead your life to everything you want from it and how to follow what society tells you to. If you’re lucky the latter will bring you what you want. You’re guaranteed to produce for others, but you may never create what you want for yourself. By contrast, the former — leading your life based on your[…] Keep reading →