Here’s an exercise that helps you recognize why and when you get angry sometimes. You can use it to help prevent yourself from getting angry or not blaming others. It applies for any other emotion than anger, so you can use it to prevent any emotion you don’t want and to create any emotion you do want. Step 1: Think of a time you got angry. Step 2: What did[…] Keep reading →

Here’s a quick exercise to make yourself aware of how your body handles stress, which can help you decrease stress. You’ll recognize the answers to the questions easily. The point is how to use the answers. I’ll explain how at the end. Step 1: Think of a painful experience in your life. Remember how you felt when it happened. Think of what you saw, heard, felt, tasted, etc, but especially[…] Keep reading →

This quote on self-awareness, from the book Willpower, describes some psychologists’ perspectives on self-awareness. I like its perspective. It asks how self-awareness could have evolved and notes the importance of the behavior the mental ability motivates By the way, I recommend the book for its content and engaging writing style, although I prefer the advice and perspective in my willpower series. Read both. (Edit: and my Empathy Gap series. Read[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on empathy gaps. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] A second post from the book Willpower… Leading yourself and others requires foreseeing that doing something hard feels harder, longer, more frustrating, and so on than you expect. At the beginning you say,[…] Keep reading →

Today I’ll cover one of my most liberating allegories. I don’t remember where I heard it. Some karate students asked their teacher how he always kept his balance no matter what happened. He said, “On the contrary, I’m always losing my balance. But I’m always regaining it too.” Since I learned that lesson, I stopped trying to avoid making mistakes. I say and do what I feel is right or[…] Keep reading →

I’ve struggled with some questions for a while. What enables greatness? Do you need to let go of your safety net to become great? We all know stories of people who sacrificed everything sensible to reach greatness. They sold all their possessions and went to Hollywood. They practiced day and night for years, sacrificing fun times. They gave up on promising careers to reach their dreams. If you jump a[…] Keep reading →

Sometimes hearing something bluntly makes you realize new things in areas you thought you knew. That happened to me recently. A friend said something that dramatically improved how I thought of people and how I get to know them. The perspective becomes more liberating and improves your relationships more the more you understand it. She said, “Josh, nobody is normal.” Nobody is normal! At first I the bluntness caught me[…] Keep reading →

Nobody likes being insulted. We often feel compelled to respond in kind, all too often exacerbating problems. I haven’t found advice to have a thick skin or not to let it affect you helpful, especially when angry or feeling attacked. It feels like letting the other person win. Understanding the situation from a different perspective makes responding easier. The main principle: When people insult, they say more about themselves than[…] Keep reading →

I’ve noticed many of my values differ from what I see in mainstream American culture. See how yours differ too. What I call mainstream may differ from what you call mainstream and at times I deliberately overstate the mainstream American view to parody it. Category “Mainstream” American view (oversimplified) Josh’s view (oversimplified) Jobs Horrible way to waste your time. A necessary evil we have to endure. A source of challenges[…] Keep reading →