Has anyone ever told you you were thinking about things too much? Was it an annoying thing for them to say, perhaps dismissive? When someone says that to me I usually point out how I like to play with ideas. Ideas to me are like blocks for a kid — I like to put them together in different ways to see what they look like together, I build structures with[…] Keep reading →

Someone I’m coaching wrote the following: I will be graduating from college in May, and I am trying to decide which two cities I should move to after graduation. I’ve been wanting to move to NYC ever since I first visited in high school and been going there ever since. On the other hand, everyone that I know tells me that I should move to LA instead and think I[…] Keep reading →

My father once said to me (paraphrasing) When someone says they have time for something or not, they aren’t talking about time, they’re talking about priorities. Everyone has time for what they want to do. If they say they don’t have time, it means something else is more important. That observation has been one of the most valuable lessons I learned from him. Since then whenever someone (including myself) has[…] Keep reading →

Here is a mental exercise I like and find effective in learning to empathize and understand people better. It costs nothing and requires no preparation, but it can be personally challenging, but it develops you as a person. The exercise is to see how diverse behavior in others you can explain without relying on saying someone else has different motivations than you do. The more you can explain their behavior,[…] Keep reading →

With my ability to announce my posts blocked by the Chinese government, now’s my chance to indulge in a selfish post without destroying my modesty, since fewer people will find out about it. A few months ago I had the most amazing dream. It even impressed me. Somehow I dreamt about this: It’s called a continued fraction. I know I’d seen the fraction before. I don’t remember if anyone showed[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I wrote about an alternative model for solving problems to the prevalent model that you need to find and solve their root causes to be effective. The alternative — the burning building model to solving problems — says that if you can think of something that will improve the situation, acting on it will help. If you’ve used the dandelion model for a long time, you may believe it[…] Keep reading →

Many people have a counterproductive yet common model for solving their problems. If you use it, you’re holding yourself back from a better life. There’s an alternative, however, which I’ll write about below too. The Dandelion Model I call it the “dandelion model” because it’s based on the idea that to get rid of a dandelion, you have to get to its roots. If you don’t, it will grow back.[…] Keep reading →